Eat Your Heart (Reader X Kaneki Ken)

Chapter Six - Dinner

Chapter Six - Dinner

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“You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won't discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself. (p. 84)” 
― Geneen Roth, Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything

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" I'm sorry." you mutter really softly as you hear Kaneki taking off his cotten shirt that was stained with maroon and brown patches on it, your back facing him. Unknown to you, Kaneki smiled a little as his hand touched the back of his shoulder, his face completely fine as his index finger dug into the small gaping wound and removed the bullet that was embedded in his flesh and muscles that made regenerating a completely slower process which he hated. Everything he wanted had to be fast and efficient, just like how your relationship was. Six months into the relationship and you were already head over heels for him. Just one more step closer to his goal.

You lower your gaze and then stop your muttering of apologies, staring at the place where his wound was. It was like his skin at his shoulder was completely flawless with no existing wounds at all. Kaneki smirked when he saw your reaction. You were always so... gullible when you were with him. It was an easy feat for him to just sweet talk you into forgiving him and giving you the impression that he was your saviour.

" Kaneki -kun, your skin-" You mutter, your fingers touching the place where you had actually visually seen a goddamn bloody and open wound right there, a result of him saving you from those idiots back there.

" Ah... Erm... The blood on my shirt wasn't mine." Kaneki blatant just lied through his teeth in front of you, making you almost want to facepalm. Seriously. That was probably one of the worst excuses you has ever heard in your life that even the ones that you came up with in the past were considered lame.

" Really now." you purse your lips and cross your arms, giving off your signature annoyed aura. Kaneki's flashed slight annoyance, but he quickly masked it up without you noticing. He stared at you with his big translucent grey eyes that were kind of moist and red, which you thought was a result of him searching for you for the entire night. Then, he held your hand between his and nodded really innocently as if you had to believe him. It was almost as if he was begging you to do so, and not doing so might make him feel extremely bad about himself. 

Fudge it. You were compelled to nod and smile, saying that you believed in him even though you knew deep down inside that you didn't. After all, who comes up with a lameass excuse like that? However, you knew that Kaneki most probably had his reasons and you didn't want to push it further. Besides, it was just after a quarrel and you didn't want to experience any more emotional and mental stress anymore. This was your recovery period and you were not going to let anything affect you.

Kaneki's hand snakes around your neck and with a sudden force, he pushes you into his embrace, your face into his bare chest. You could feel his heart thumping furiously, one beat at a time. Kaneki kisses your forehead gently as if an endearing boyfriend treating his girlfriend with extra care and love. You can hear him whisper into your ear, "My heart beats for you. Only you." 

Your face flushes, the blood rushing all up your cheeks and you shovel your face completely into his chest to keep your embarrassing look hidden. However, in the midst of hiding your random embarrassment, you remember that Kaneki was not wearing a shirt and immediately shoot up from his embrace, stumbling a few steps back. 

Unknown to you, your face grew even more red and your mind was in a mess. You were usually an extremely careful and intelligent person who was capable of controlling your emotions, but somehow after you met Kaneki, your personality completely changed. You stopped being so observant of things and your mind was always clouded with Kaneki and Kaneki and nothing but Kaneki.

Kaneki rose up from his seat and moved closer and closer towards you just as you moved back step by step, your heart palpitating. 

"Ka-" you anxiously open your mouth to ask him to stop because you were still uneasy about taking your relationship further, but Kaneki cuts you off as he kisses you straight on the lips, his tongue entering your mouth as your eyes are wide open in shock. The kisses beforehand were nothing like this. This was... overwhelming, domineering and absolutely passionate like a storm.

This was something you had never ever experienced before.

Kaneki didn't seem like the type who would be such a person because every single time you kissed, it was mild and gentle as if he was afraid to hurt you and upset you. However, somehow you liked this kind of change. This switch in personality made you more excited, anticipating the next move that Kaneki would make.

All that talk about being uneasy about taking your relationship further beforehand turned out to be nothing, as if they had just evaporated into space. All that hours contemplating whether you should take your relationship further was gone in the face of a kiss that made you feel satisfied.

"Kaneki." a voice interrupts the two of you just when Kaneki was about to lift up your shirt. Annoyed, you snap towards the source of the voice, only to find the same man that you saw dragging Kaneki away the first time you ever actually talked to Kaneki was leaning against the balcony window frame, his shirt bloody and his usual smirk wiped off from his face.

" Touka." Tsukiyama glances at you and then curls his lips into a cruel smile. You notice how Kaneki's face completely changes from excitement to anger and worry and you can't help but feel jealousy and bewildermen. Why would Kaneki even get so upset over the simple mention of Touka? 

You tug on Kaneki's hand but he immediately brushes you off coldly as if what happened between the two of you just now was just a game that he was playing with experience and you were just an piece that could be thrown away anytime. Kaneki then walked briskly and  whisked up his shirt.

"Let's go." Kaneki orders and then with a simple leap, jumps out of the balcony, with Tsukiyama following him in his tracks. and leaving you staring at his back alone. 

Alone and cold with your heart in pieces, unable to be pieced back again by the rejection.

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I AM SORRY.

YES. I AM SORRY FOR THE SLOW UPDATES.

=.= look at all dem eyebags. be like. panda much.

I thank everyone for supporting this book and being extremely supportive! I love you guys too!