Authors note: I'm going to go back a little starting where Jake asked Maggie if she wanted him just so that you guys can know what she was thinking about. you know cause if i was reading this story i would kinda want to know what she was thinking.
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"Maggie am i the one you want? do you want me? or am i just convenient?"
Is Jake the one that i want? Or was he right was i just using him. I look up at him staring into his deep blue eyes. No i could never use Jake. I like the kisses just as much as he does. I wouldn't just ask anyone to kiss me either. He looks at me best he can looking from me to the rode. I stare at his face taking him in. He pulls into the parking lot and we both unbuckle. I turn to him and he does the same.
"Do you want me Maggie?" He whispers.
I have to decide right now. I'm not ready for this i just decided last night that i might not hate him and now he's asking me this. What exactly does he mean by want anyways. I want his protection? yes. I want his kisses? yes. I want to be with him because i feel safe? yes. Could i have anyone else do the same things for me? probably not. so i guess in that sense i would want him. But what if he means deeper like if i want him as in want him want him like as a boyfriend maybe? i dunno. what i do know is that if i say no then i might lose him all together and i wasn't willing to do that.
"Jake I...." I pause. What I want to say is 'Jake i'm not sure what i want when it comes to you i'm confused as hell with my emotions towards you.'
What i do say or do instead is jump across the seat and start kissing him saying i do want him. When i pull away because it's extremely uncomfortable leaning over the gearshift that way he's smiling like he just won a million dollars and i wonder what i just got myself into. I smile back and i find that it's a real smile.
Jake jumps out of the car and runs over and opens my door for me pulling me out of the car he wraps his arms around me pulling me into a way to tight hug and burying his face into my hair.
"Jake..." I gasp. "I can't breathe."
"Sorry Mags." He says loosening his grip but only a little. "I just..." His voice is excited. "You just made me the happiest person on the planet."
I freeze in his hold he doesn't seem to notice though. I really should have asked what kind of want he was talking about. I couldn't ask now. It was too late and there was no way that i was going to crush Jake he was the only way i would feel safe so i would just have to go along with it. I'll give him whatever he wants because i don't want him to leave me.
He pulls away but keeps his arm wrapped around my waist as he pulls me into the video store. He drags me over to the section with tv shows. He's still smiling like a fool and every couple of seconds he'll nuzzle his head into my neck. He also has me pinned to his side. I need to get away from him for a second i need to breathe.
"I'm gunna go to the bathroom."
"Ok." Jake says when i start to walk away he grabs my wrist and spins me around landing his lips on mine. "Hurry back." He whispers and lets me go. I walk into the bathroom and look into the mirror. My cheeks are pink my lips look red from all the kissing. My eyes look alive. My bruise had started to turn yellow yesterday around the edges but because Max slapped me it was dark purple again. I run my finger tips over it.
Jake will keep me safe so what if i have to pretend to be his... be his what though? He didn't actually ask me to be his girlfriend but the way he's acting is like he did. So what exactly does he think we are? I sigh aloud. Whatever it is i'll play along and it won't be that bad.
