Psychological Affairs

Chapter Four: Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

I woke up early this morning.

I had a dream of my father last night. I was alone in my room and it was dark. I woke up and saw him slowly open the door and creep his head through the crack. He slid through the crack and closed the door behind him. He started to approach my bed, but I woke up before anything else happened. I woke up and started to look for him all over my room and my personal bathroom. I got back in bed and sat in it, with my arms hugging my knees. It was still dark outside, but I didn’t go to sleep for the rest of the night. 

Once the sun shone through the lavender curtains, I got up and brushed my teeth and washed my face. I looked in the mirror in the bathroom and examined myself. Tomorrow is my birthday. I’m spending my birthday in a mental hospital. I went over what happened over the last year in my mind. I’m turning 16 tomorrow and unlike all of the other normal girls, I won’t be having a Sweet 16 or getting a car. I am, however, that I’m here than at home. Anything’s better than home, I guess. 

I walked out of the bathroom and opened my door to enter the same white hallway. I walked up to the nurses’ station where Chris, Mijo and Trey were having a conversation. I stood in front of Sharon as she sat doing computer work. I stayed there until she finally realized I was there.

“Yes?” Sharon asked, not bothering to look up at me.

“Morning to you too, ma’am.” I said sarcastically.

“Why are you up so early? What do you want?” She asked, a bit stunned that I’d wake up early.

“Nothing, I’m just bored in my room.” I said.

“Well, go sit down. We’re about to serve meds in a half an hour.” She said.

I just shook my head. 

“Guess who’s birthday is tomorrow?” Mijo said with his hands over my eyes.

“I don’t know and I don’t care.” I said, shrugging off my own birthday.

He took his hands off of my eyes and turned me around to him where Chris and Trey looked at me.

“Don’t tell me all of the medication made you forget your birthday?” Mijo asked, jokingly.

“No, I didn’t forget. I just don’t care.” I shrugged with my arms crossed on my chest.

“You’re the first person I ever knew who isn’t excited for their 16th birthday.” Mijo said.

“I’m also the first person who you can have an actual conversation in this dump.” I said.

“Then, I guess I should take back my gift.” Mijo said.

“Fine.” I shrugged which only made him laugh.

“Fine, you win.” He said.

“What do you want for your birthday, Mike?” Chris asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe to get out of this place. You know, shit like that.” I said, snapping on him a bit.

“What’s your problem?” He asked me.

“It’s been almost a year and I’m still in this place. THAT’S MY PROBLEM!” I said before storming down the hallways.

I walked into my room and slammed the door. These people just don’t fucking get it. I shook my head and got laid back into my bed. I stayed in the room until I heard one of the nurses shout, “MORNING PILLS!” I placed my feet on the floor and left the room, once again. I walked out in the front, not seeing Trey, Chris, or Mijo, but I see Sharon. I waited in line until it got to my turn once again. Nurse Rosa handed me two paper cups of the usual: water and pills. I swallowed down all of my pills with the water and walked up to Sharon to show her.