Personal Assistant: Limited Edition[MXM]✔

Chapter 39

39.

He tasted like oranges. I didn't hate oranges. I didn't exactly like oranges. I was neutral. I wouldn't willingly spend my money on them. It wasn't a deal-breaker.

The deal broke before we even walked through my apartment door. He was attractive and he was my type. He was physically something I'd want in a casual relationship. Of course he had to sexually deliver for it to even be a "relationship", but I'd made up my mind before he'd even put his lips on mine that nothing he did would impress me. We could have sex with him in some weird acrobatic position and he wouldn't impress me. He could give me the best orgasm of my life and I'd still show him the door.

But of course I didn't acknowledge it right away because as Nasir said, I was dumb. I'm sure I'm not alone when I do things knowing they can only turn out one way but I do them anyway. I knew sleeping with guy X would just be like torture but I proceeded anyway. I had to prove myself wrong. I took it as a challenge.

It backfired and left me feeling like shit.

Guy X was a good kisser. He nibbled my lower lip like an expert and I rolled my closed eyes, at least I tried to. It was very much uncomfortable.

The citrus taste of his mouth annoyed me. Everything about him annoyed me. How do you get annoyed by a cute smile and delicate hands?

The kissing was bordering on sexual assault because I wasn't enjoying it. I pulled my head back from his and put my hands on the ones that were on my neck, pulling them down.

The hands tried to find refuge in my waist and I stopped them, holding onto them. He cocked a questioning brow.

I let go of his hands and they fell to his sides.

"I can't do this, not tonight," I finally admitted defeat, shaking my head.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

He knew what I meant. He was asking if I was sure.

"I can't have sex with you," I said. I noticed he was waiting for me to continue. "Yeah," I added lamely.

"Then what did you bring me here for?" he asked. There was restrained anger in his voice.

"It was dumb," I merely said.

He shuffled his feet. "Look, I'm literally here for the sex. I don't want anything else. If you think I'll suddenly act like a neurotic clingy boyfriend, you've got it all wrong."

"It's not that," I said quietly.

"What's his name?" he surprised me with his question.

It was my turn to raise a brow.

"What's her name?"

I just looked at him.

"Look, not wanting a cookie is normal. Taking a bite of a cookie and discarding it means one of three things. The cookie tastes bad, you are comfort eating but realize the cookie isn't making you feel better, or you just cheated on a diet," he said. "I know the first is not the case."

I looked down and sighed. This stranger in my living room was telling me things I already knew but didn't want to acknowledge.

"Maybe I've had enough cookies today," I said confidently.

He moved his lips to the side slightly and just stared at me.

"Comfort eating," I admitted, my voice coming out as a whisper. "...disguised as revenge eating, really."