Essence of Narnia

Chapter 40

"You don't suppose anyone would notice we were gone?" I whispered to Edmund as we crept alongside the shadows of the castle walls. 

"For your sake, I hope not." 

"Why not? You don't think I can handle myself?" 

Edmund put a finger to his lips taking a moment to listen in on any incoming guards. I crossed my arms as he turned around the corner ahead before signaling me to come forward. 

"Well?" I whispered following close behind him.

"It's not that I don't think you're capable of handling yourself. It's more for Caspian. I swear you're going to give that man an ulcer with all of your antics. He already has a kingdom to run."

"Well he wouldn't need to care for me if a particular someone  could have done it properly in the first place." I mumbled, "Mmph!"

Edmund had stopped in front of me resulting in my bumping into his chest. "Charlotte." He said sternly. 

I looked up at him slightly annoyed. "What?"

"I heard that." 

"I was hoping you wouldn't have heard me." 

"I did. And you're being difficult. You know all about my predicament with prophecies and soulmates and what not. As foolish as it all sounds, I respect the magic of Narnia because it's real and true. And it's physically affecting me. Painfully."

His eyes were darkened and based on his previous tone, I've made him annoyed as well. But can you blame a girl? I stopped myself from making a snappy remark and gave in. "You've gone and made me feel guilty now." 

"Are you really?" he asked in a tone similar to that of a scolding parent.

I couldn't even look at him because of the shame I felt. "Yes, I do."

An arrogant smile reached his lips and he patted my head. "Good, that means I've gotten through to that hard head of yours."

Without a word, I followed him back. And as we did so, I quietly internalized his words and reflected back on my actions. I have been acting selfish lately. But was I wrong for it? Or was I just holding my pride so that I won't risk the chance of being heartbroken?

The window to Willow's room loomed overhead, and suddenly I was reminded that falling from even halfway up the castle walls would be fatal. 

As if by instinct, the vines moved to lace themselves around my fingers as I reached out my hand towards them. They wrapped around my waist as some sort of harness, and gently lifted my body towards the window.  Once my hands gripped the ledge the vines released me and lowered down to wrap around Edmund. 

Thankfully, the room was still dark save for a lone candle that was left lit beside the bed. Witch Willow seem to have left a long while ago and it didn't seem like she was going to come back anytime soon. 

The sound of shuffling turned my attention behind me to find Edmund pulling himself up on the ledge. "Edmund?" I asked as I took his hand to help him in.

"Yes?" He grunted as he pulled himself into the room.

"Are the visions still happening?"

He landed softly on the ground and gave a thoughtful look, "The pains still come and go, but now it's making me question everything I believe in. Are my thoughts my own or are they forced because of some prophecy? Am I making my own choices? Or am I just being led to believe that I do? I find myself never being sure about anything."

Taking a seat onto the bed, I nodded slowly in understanding.

He looked at me as he dusted his pants. "Now you've been awfully quiet. Was it something I said?"

I shook my head. How could I ask him the one question that would cause him pain? As much as I wanted to ask him if he was sure about me, I couldn't bring myself to do it. 

The longer I sat to ponder my thoughts, the more I began to feel heavy tiredness throughout my body. 

Edmund knelt down in front of me, his brows were furrowed in concern. "What's wrong?" 

Beside the fire light, the tawny flecks in his eyes were emphasized and so did the dark circles beneath them. My hand slowly raised to caress his smooth cheek. "Don't look at me like that. It's not fair." I softly smiled. 

His placed his hand over mine, they were warm and calloused. "I can't help it Charlotte."

"And that's where the problem lies." I should love myself better than to accept being treated like a second option and I tell myself this often, but with him I felt okay with it. Did I love him this much to keep fighting? 

Was this something worth fighting for?

He looked away, both of our hearts understanding the underlying pain we couldn't ignore. 

"Go to your room Edmund, I'm tired. We can talk to Caspian first thing in the morning." 

Edmund's eyes continued to observe my own. His lips parted as if were about to say something but stopped himself. With a sigh, he placed a gentle kiss on the palm of my hand. "I'll see you in the morning."

I couldn't bear to watch him walk away, instead I continued to sit quietly in the silence. Although it was Edmund's choice to ultimately change his fate, I too also had a choice to make. 

In the end, will our choices align with each others?

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It's been a while, thank you for everyone who has continued to vote, comment, and add this story to your libraries. I'm slowly coming out of my writer's block and seeing your notifications have been a huge motivation for me to keep writing this story.