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"Josh shut up!" Tyler finally yelled. "I can't take this anymore!"

"What? I'm-"

"Just stop, shut up, leave me alone I- I just- I can't..."

"What can't you do?"

"Answer your questions, live life, everything. I can't fucking take it!" He sucked in a big breath.

"Tyler it's okay, breath and calm down"

"N-No Josh you don't understand" He let out the breath and couldn't slow his breathing after that.

"It's okay you don't need to answer any. I'm just curious" Josh's voice was filled with concern.

Tyler pulled at his sleeves. He abruptly stood up and ran to the bathroom. Of course a very concerned Josh followed.

"Tyler?"

Crying came from the farthest corner. Josh went right up to him and bent down to his sitting level. Tyler moved away while Josh tried to help.

"Tyler I want to help"

"Y-You wanna h-help? Then leave! I-I don't n-need your bullshit, o-or an-anyone else's!"

"You gotta calm down, breath, think of something better"

"I can't!" Tyler scratched at his arm.

"If you tell yourself you can, you will be able to get through anything" Josh softly stopped him from scratching at his arms.

Tyler shook his head. It was either a tempt to make the voices stop or a response to Josh's question, he couldn't tell. Tyler then leaned his head against the bathroom wall. He closed his eyes and tried to calm down.

"I want to tell you a story"

"What..." Tyler opened his eyes and looked at him with curiosity.

Josh went on and on about this one time he was home alone so he turn on all the water in his house and flooded it. He was 10 at the time so he explained that he didn't know better.

Tyler ended up smiling a little at the story. "I remember that"

"You do?"

"Yeah that was around the time w-we stopped being friends. I remember police officers coming to-to your house"

"Yeah they did! They talked to me about how it was a bad thing to do! Well that's not the only reason they came, of course, it was to find what damage I caused or something like that. Anyways I'm sure you don't actually care. I'll shut up"

Tyler smiled. Almost a real one.

When the bell rang Tyler slowly but surely got his next class. He was tired for the rest of the day and pretty much slept through all his classes.

When he got home his mother engulfed him in a hug.

"What are you-"

"Josh told me that you had a anxiety attack. I'm so sorry I feel like I did something wrong"

"Wait you did?" Zack asked.

Tyler shrugged. He felt angry that Josh told his mother but he was too drained to do anthing about it yet.

"You know you can tell me anything", She brought him to the couch.

"Yeah..."

"What happened?"

"I don't know"

"I know you do know. Can you tell me?"

Tyler shook his head. Kelly touched his leg, "Tyler I won't judge"

"Fine! The reason was because of this!" he waved his arms around, "Everyone was asking questions! I want to be alone, leave me alone! I can't take it anymore!"

"Tyler..."

"No! Shut up!" Tyler stood up and stomped toward the door.

"Tyler I would like to know" She said with nothing but a sad expression.

"I know but I'm leaving. I'll be back by 9, I promise"

"Tyler you're grounded from going anywhere remember?!"

He slammed the door and got in his car.

He really didn't know where his destination was but he wound up at some random bridge that he didn't even know existed in his town. He parked and sat on the ground with his sixth cigarette in the last hour.

He felt numb. He didn't feel sad, happy, angry, confused. He was just numb. No voices, he just sat there with ideas of jumping off and possibly ending his life. Even that felt nice to know you could leave just like that but he didn't. Sadly the only thing stopping him was the fact that he didn't know what would happen after. Is there a god? Would he go to heaven or hell? Is there even a heaven? Would he become a totally different human or animal and forget everything? He didn't know, and he didn't think he would ever know.

He scratched at his arms. He wanted to make more lines. The eleven raised marks weren't enough.

Cars and people went by without even thinking twice about the fact there was a suicidal teen sitting on the side of a bridge.

Three hours pass and not one person asked if he was okay, which he was fine with but that also made him think no one cared. Tyler reached into his pocket for another cigarette but nothing was in there. He used to get free packs from Brendon but now he has to pay himself, well with his family's money.

Tyler sighed and started playing with the lighter instead. It would blow out from the wind and he would light it again. At one point he put his finger on the flame, he yelped but did it again.

He threw the lighter, "What the hell is wrong with me?!"

The brown haired boy curled into a human ball and cried. He felt embarrassed about crying in public but he couldn't do it at his house. No one in his family could know what was going on. Not even Josh or Jenna.