He looked back at me with a smile before realizing what had just happened and he immediately took his hands off my hips. Luke swam back to the canoe and flipped it with ease. Why couldn’t you have done that earlier??? We both got in and began rowing back to camp in complete silence. I wanted to cry, I wanted to be home with Ashton watching Netflix the way we used to when he still wanted me. He wanted to have time to be with who he wanted to be with while he was in Miami this summer and it broke my heart, right in to a million pieces scattered on the linoleum floor of the hallway at school when he told me.
*FLASHBACK*
“Ash! Babe, come here!” I called wanting to talk to me because he had been kind of distant lately. He walked over with low shoulders and his head hung low. Something either happened or he needed to tell me something. “Hey, what’s going on?”
“Look Calum, you know I’m going to Miami this summer for a month,” he said lowly. I nudged him encouraging him to continue. “well I might want to have fun with someone while I’m there and I don’t want to be constantly worried about cheating on you. And what I’m saying is that I think we should take a break so I can have fun and maybe you can too while you go to that cabin thing with your mom,” he admits in one breath. He never met my eyes but seemed to find his shoes much more interesting.
“But Ashton I love you with all my heart and every ounce of my being. I thought you did too…” I said on the verge of crying. How could he be doing this to me? “You told me that you would never leave me.”
“Calum, don’t be like this. I love you so much, I love you more than I love myself and that’s why I’m doing this. I don’t want to have to worry that I’m cheating and I thought you would understand that,” he stated. By now tears were streaming freely. Ashton leaned in and kissed my forehead lightly with his lips that I had come to know so well but now they felt unfamiliar and foreign and...cold. He walked away leaving me standing there alone and tear stained. He hurt me much worse that a wound or broken bone could ever feel. Someone could have pushed me in front of a bus and the lonesome feeling growing in my chest was beyonce comparison between the two.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
When we got back to the river bank, I got out and started off toward my cabin when I heard Lule call after me. I turned on my heel knowing that my record of 67 days of not getting in a fight was about to be broken. Being gay at my school meant that you had to know your way around a fight and may have to cause a few just to get respect.
“Calum, are you okay?” Luke asked as he backed up seeing the anger in my gait.
“No, I’m not fucking okay! You’re such a dick! You kiss me and then freak out like the kid that you are!” I yell shoving my finger in his now tank clad chest. I scoffed and cocked my head before throwing a punch to his jaw that he obviously wasn’t expecting. He stumbled back cupping his jaw but still looked me in the eye. His eyes were aflame by the time he regained his composure.
“What the hell was that?! Yeah I freaked out because I’m not a fucking faggot! God, what’s wrong with you?” he retorted before he threw a punch hitting my stomach knocking the wind out of me.
“Wait a minute, can you say that again? I didn’t hear is quite right because I know I didn’t hear you call me a faggot!” I didn’t even give him time to reply before I sent another shot to his jaw and then his lip hitting it right on the lip ring that had been driving me crazy. He spit blood out and went to throw another punch that I easily caught with my hand causing him to be stuck much closer than he wanted to be. He squirmed but my grip was too strong.
His face fell when he realized what he had said. “Calum, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m just so confused.”
“You don’t think I’m not confused? My boyfriend is in Miami hooking up with who the hell knows and I still love him but you are all I see right now,” I admitted still fuming. He wasn’t getting off that easy. “And guess what? You’re such an asshole that you can’t even admit that you like me.” His face gave away that I was completely right.
I finally let his arm fall leaving us with inches between us and heat radiating off of us. We didn’t speak but looked in each other’s eyes with such tenacity and... lust?
“Calum Thomas Hood! You better get over here right now or I swear I’m going to kill you right here, right fucking now!” Oh my god, my mom saw that! You know what? I don’t give a flying fuck.
