The Island- Snowbarry AU

Chapter 4

A day past and Barry and Caitlin hadn't spoken to each other once. Not that they spoke on a regular basis at all before but now the silence between them was even more deafening and filled to the brim with tension. They barely looked at each other and when they did it was with mixed contempt and to Barry, it was more a look of heartache. Their fight had only made brought a further rift between them and that killed him even more. If the chances of never being with her were high before its gone up to catastrophic levels. It broke his heart and he missed being able to be hopeful about his unrequited feelings towards her. Things were bleak before but now things were damn near impossible.

It was too hard to be himself around her. He knew that he should hate her with all he had but he couldn't. He tried his best to turn his passionate feelings for her into passionate feelings of anger and hate. But it was simply no use, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't transform his feelings into anything else but complete adoration. It wasn't as if he didn't really try his best but it was all so difficult to nor feel this way. Falling in love with anyone was hard enough let alone with the complicated situation like this one. He knew that he was only making things harder for himself but this was all just so hard and he didn't know how long he could carry on like this for.

Just watching her look at him with such disdain in her eyes was enough to wreck his whole week. Clearly for whatever reason, that he still hadn't really figured out, she just couldn't stand him and he just wished that she would just tell him what he has to do to make her like him and maybe then he could figure out how to make her fall in love with him too. That would be nice- really really nice. But that wasn't something that was likely at all. She was far too stubborn for her to fall in love with anybody let alone someone like Barry who she hated so much and obviously who she couldn't stand to be around for any more than she had to be. Seriously, he had no idea what to do to please her or to stop her from completely hating him.

But what made things hurt most and what made things hardest for him was that she had begun to notice his building feelings for her. She had noticed him watching her and staring occasionally and that scared him. If she found out, if she ever possibly found out, he wasn't sure what he would do. She would only hate him more if she ever found out and then he really would be toast. She would accuse him of all sorts and he couldn't imagine how it would feel to hear all of her accusations and get his heart broken officially. It would probably all be too much to hear. And the truth is it probably will happen and all because she is smart. She is a genius and she will work it put at some point. Especially as the harder he fell for her the more obvious it got that he was falling in love with her and therefore the easier it will be for her to find out all about his infatuation with her. Not to mention how embarrassing it would be to have her find out, he would never be able to look at her the same way again and frankly, he liked the way he looked at her now.

She was everything to him and knowing that she may completely abandon him if she finds out killed him inside- it was a scary thing to think about. Well, more than she already had. It wasn't easy for him to admit but... he loved her. Just a little- he wanted to know more about her still. He needed to in order to be truly in love with her but he was so much on the brink of passionate and insane love that he might as well admit that he loved her even if it was just a little bit. But he was working, on the whole, getting to know her project. It might take a little while but he had plenty of time on his hands to devise his plan for them to become friends. They had all the time in the world so he only needed to figure out the best way to have her finally respect him and want to get to know him. It would definitely take a miracle but he knew that she was worth it, he just had to buy his time until his miracle comes and she knows when that will be. But he had to have faith that there was good still left in the world and that somehow the universe will bring he and Caitlin together even if it did take a little while.