Fixing Us

Chapter 18: Hate

Biting my lip, I scroll through the bands twitter account. It's Thursday and Jiminie is upstairs showering at the moment since I'd gotten back from the interview late tonight. I'm sat in the living room with the rest of the boys who are all immersed either in a conversation or in some show they've got on at the moment.

The hate I've been getting on social media these last couple weeks has just exploded. I've got some fans defending me, while most of them remind me of Sohjae.

Anyone else notice how much of an embarrassment to the band SJ has become?

SJ has just been a huge letdown to the entire band lately. Sad considering she's supposed to be their leader.

What's wrong with SJ? Slut, fat, ugly, can't dance. I don't understand how some of you guys can't see it.

When someone asks why I hate SJ, I can't help but laugh. Has nobody been noticing how shitting of a bandmate she is? There's a longggg list that could easily answer that question.

Can't believe SJ. How could she claim to be sweet Jimin's girlfriend when she's clearly cheating on him?!

Who else thinks SJ is a slut and has been sleeping with Jimin's bandmates? It only makes sense as to why she would've gone to a doctor with two of his bandmates and not her own boyfriend.

SJ: slut, fat, ugly, disappointment, can't dance, can't sing, can't rap. Is she good at anything?

SJ: She can't even stay in one school long enough to graduate. She's a bitch.

The list goes on and on and on. And some of those are simply mild. There's quite a few saying that I should just die or threatening to kill me or other such things. Though, it's not all terrible. That's only like, 70% of my feed on all social medias. There's some fans that actually have my back.

Could you assholes stop hating on sweet SJ? She's done nothing to any of you and she's surely trying her best.

You've no idea the types of pressure SJ probably has on her. Stop hating for fucks sake.

You should be ashamed of yourselves to call yourself a fan when you're hating on SJ. She's an amazing leader and a great singer/rapper/choreographer.

Love how everyone's hating on SJ and making so many accusations about her. Have you tried asking her certain things yourself? I'm sure she'd gladly answer any questions honestly if you'd actually ask.

If SJ is so bad at everything, whys she gotten this far with her career then? You shouldn't be hating on her when you could never come anywhere close to doing half the things she does, and could never do have as good as her. Haters need to fuck off.

Like I said, not all bad. But it's mostly not all good. And their words are becoming taunting with how quickly I'm beginning to struggle from the chemo. The side effects are already beginning to kick in and kick my ass, making it all the much harder to get through the days. Which feels kind of sad considering it's been four days since I started on it.

It was a serious hassle just to get through everything today. I ended up running out of class within the first half hour because the anti sickness pills aren't at the right dosage. Thankfully, nobody's noticed that bit yet. It took what felt like forever to be able to haul my body back to class after that. I almost didn't make it through the day without falling asleep and I almost threw up again when Jiminie made me eat my entire lunch.

Knowing just how much I'm struggling now as it is, I'm nearly terrified to go back in tomorrow to find out how the tumor is doing. The pain in my shoulder has grown a bit worse but I don't know if that's just from the chemo kicking in or if it means the tumor is growing.