Fixing Us

Chapter 15: The News

Despite the amount of exhaustion streaming through my body, I didn't get an ounce of sleep last night. Between the pain and the nerves about going back to the doctors today, I had to get out of bed so that I wasn't restless and wake Jiminie up.

Driving Namjoon and I there this morning, everything is silent. The only noise heard in the truck being any sounds of traffic and the tapping of my fingers against my thigh and the steering wheel. Jin may have thought it childish or not completely true on Thursday when Hoseok said that I needed someone to come with me today, but it was no joke and I think Namjoon realized that just on the way there.

When we get there, I park my truck and we get out. Locking it behind us, I shove my keys into my bag while trying to keep my breathing calm. Snuggling into Jiminie's hoodie that I'd snatched this morning after dropping them off, it's my only form of pathetic protection from this place while being here. My only form of comfort. He has no idea that I've got it, but I don't really care. I know he'd only find it amusing anyways.

Signing myself in, Namjoon and I find a seat to wait for me to be called back. Nerves and anxiety getting the best of me, I pull my phone out and slip an earbud in. Normally, if I were at school or even work, I'd go to the roof or outside and down a few bottles of soju or some other alcohol and possibly smoke a cigarette. I don't have that option though and generally I try to bury myself in work before I get to that point.

"J-Hope wasn't joking around when he said you get pretty nervous being here." Namjoon comments quietly as we wait. For whatever reason, they seem to be taking forever today. This entire morning feels like it's all going by in slow motion. I just nod my head in response as I pull out my notebook. I'm not trying to ignore him or anything, I just have to find a way to distract myself. A way to calm down.

"I don't exactly hold any fond memories of being in this type of location or setting. And considering how well the last two time I've been here have gone, it's not exactly helped." I answer softly, jotting down little different pieces parts of lyrics occasionally. He nods his head.

"You said you've never been here for yourself though, didn't you?" He asks curiously, keeping his voice low so we don't disturb others. I nod my head.

"Correct. Until last week, I've not had to be here for myself. It's why I had no idea until last week that Jin was my brother. I've been to the doctors enough times though with Jiminie, him and his mother, him and his girlfriend, and even his girlfriend herself when they were still together enough times to know I don't ever want to be here if I can help it." I answer softly, knowing he'd grown a tad confused. He nods.

"So you've been really close with Jimin for a long time then, right? If his mom passed when he was just seven and you said you'd gone with both of them to the doctors multiple times?" He asks. I nod.

"Yeah. He lived just down the street from me back then. We were the only younger kids on that street so we didn't have much a choice back then unless we both wanted to be loners." I explain, an idea coming to mind as I jot it down on the page.

"So, you've never had any experiences that you had to be brought in to the hospital or something? Never gotten too sick or broken something?" He asks curiously, seeming to try and figure me out a bit as he also seems to attempt to keep me a bit distracted. I shake my head.

"I've not gotten seriously sick, but I've had injuries before. There's probably been plenty of times that I should've come in and seen a doctor or something, but I refuse to come in. I hate these places. I'll come with others to keep them company and whatnot but I refuse to come for myself.

"I've broken bones and sprained joints a few times when I was younger. I just snap whatever bone I've broken back into place, wrap up whatever joint I've sprained and ice it. I wouldn't even be here now if my manager hadn't made the appointment himself and threatened that I go." I explain. He looks at me in surprise.