CHAPTER 27

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"The point I'm trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet, you will think the same when you meet John and I's another friend, (y/n), at first you'll think that she's just an ordinary woman with an ordinary mind but I assure you, she's just like me but more aggressive." you raised an eyebrow and glares at him.

So, that's what you think about me.

Some of the guests chuckled in his opinion whilst you mouthed at him, 'We'll talk later.'

He just shrug and continue on his speech, "I am dismissive of the virtuous ..." He looks to Janine. "... unaware of the beautiful ..."

Janine? Beautiful?

He turns towards Mary and John. "... and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. So if I didn't understand I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend. Certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing." Mary smiles proudly at her husband. Several of the guests make appreciative aww sounds.

"John, I am a ridiculous man ..." John smiles and looked at you, both of you nods in agreement. "... redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of yours and (y/n)'s friendship. But, as I'm apparently your best friend, I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion." He looks down for a moment, then smiles a little. "Actually, now I can. Mary, when me and (y/n) says you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which we were capable. John, you have endured war, and injury, and tragic loss ..." he leans closer to John "... so sorry again about that last one ..." he straightens up again "... so know this: today you sit between the woman you have made your wife, the man you have saved, and infront of the woman you always cared about (he's talking about you) - in short, the three people who loves you most in all this world. And I know I speak for Mary and (y/n) as well when I say we will never let you down, and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that." John and Sherlock looked at you, you smiled widely and nodded at them in agreement.

Sherlock moves on to his next card. "Ah, yes. Now on to some funny stories about John ..." He trails off as he looks up and sees so many of the guests crying. "What's wrong? What happened? Why are you all doing that? John? (y/n)?"

"Oh, Sherlock!" Mrs. Hudson said tearfully.

Sherlock looks down at John. "Did I do it wrong?"

John stands up, "No, you didn't. Come here." He pulls him into a tight hug. The guests break into applause. "(y/n), come here." you stand up from your seat and run to hug your best friends. Again, you heard some aww from the guests.

"I haven't finished yet."

"Yeah, I know, we know." You said.

Holding up his next card and talking over the applause as you and John releases him, "So, on to some funny stories ..."

"Can you - can you wait 'til we sit down?" Sherlock nods as the applause continues. You and John sat down. John cleared his throat, and the applause finally fades.

"So, on to some funny stories about John." John chuckles and Sherlock looks at the guests. "If you could all just cheer up a bit, that would ..." The guests laugh. "... be better. On we go. So, for funny stories ..." he reaches into his pocket and takes out his phone "... one has to look no further than John's blog." He holds up the phone.

John laughs and turns to speak quietly to Mary. "Here we go."

"The record of our time together. Of course, he does tend to romanticise things a bit, but then, you know..." he looks down at John and Mary and half-winks at them "... he's a romantic. We've tackled some strange cases: the Hollow Client.."

Oh, the suit who's sitting on John's chair.

"... the Poison Giant ..."

A dwarf with a blowpipe...

"We've had some frustrating cases ... 'touching' cases ..." you rolled your eyes, when you and Sherlock say touching it means 'love'. "... and of course I have to mention the elephant in the room. But we want something ... very particular for this special day, don't we? The Bloody Guardsman."

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