Falling Into Sunday

21- I Am Getting Yelled At

“I’m going to throw up,” I tell Nate after I’ve recovered from the initial shock. I still can’t stand up though so it’s a good thing that Nate hurries over to grab the small trash can that he has in his room and he hands it to me just as I curl over the edge of his bed and empty my last meal into the plastic bin.

“Venice,” Nate starts as he pats my back and holds my hair out of the way but I hold a hand up to him to get him to not talk.

“Can you please just not say anything?” I plead when I feel like I’m finally done throwing up. I wipe my lip with the palm of my hand before finally finding my legs again and I stand up, leaving his room to go into the bathroom across the hall.

I’m so grateful that Nate doesn’t follow me into the bathroom as I fix myself up and gargle some water and I kind of want to just run downstairs and leave this house so that I don’t have to face him but I don’t have my car so I wouldn’t get very far so I decide against that. Walking back into his room, I look at the carpet with my arms crossed over my chest.

“Can you take me home?” I mutter quietly.

“Venice, stop,-“

“Please just take me home,” I snap in a voice that’s just above a whisper because I’m trying not to cry or throw up again.

“No,” He says stubbonrly. “Not until you let me talk to you for a minute.”

“Oh my, God,” I mumble, feeling the pit in the bottom of my stomach growing to a monster size. I sit down on the edge of Nate’s bed so that I don’t actually collapse or anything because I feel like it’s a serious possibility right now. I put my forehead in my hands and take a few deep breaths to try and calm myself down even though everybody now knows about what happened last summer. Everybody. Emmett, my dad, Brent, Nate, and… Benson. Shit.

He sits down beside me and takes one of my hands away from my face, holding it in his. Nate’s hand feels so warm and I grasp onto it for dear life because I really need to not be alone right now but I also really need to be alone and I have no idea what’s going on inside of my head.

“It’s okay, Vi,” He assures me quietly. “You don’t have to get so upset. It’s okay.”

“Nothing is okay, Nate,” I shake my head at his stupidness. “Geez, Emmett is probably already in jail by now for doing something stupid and… and he knows. And Benson knows. You know. Holy crap, I never wanted you to know.”

“Why not?” Nate asks me. “I could have helped you get through it.”

“I thought…” I trail off, terrified to actually tell him anything. I don’t know why I’m so terrified but I just don’t want him to know this stuff. I’d do anything to keep him in the dark about what happened but that obviously isn’t possible anymore.

“You thought what?” He demands but not in an angry voice. He seems frustrated but I think that he’s more frustrated with himself than he is with me and I can’t figure that out. I can’t really figure him out.

Even though I try my hardest to not cry, I still end up crying and tears pour down my cheeks like lava, burning my skin. “I don’t know.”

“Yes you do,” He insists. “Venice, it’s been a really long morning, okay? Can you just give me some answers? I need answers.”

“It’s been a long morning for you?” I wonder incredulously. “Because my whole world was just turned upside for a second time so I’d appreciate it if I had some time to digest this fucking mess before I have to start answering to people.”