Falling Into Sunday

13- I Am Hating Myself

“Why are you all dressed up?” I hear somebody ask me from the couch as I walk towards the front door on Friday night.

I look over and see my mom sitting on the couch. I’ve seen her around the house during the week but whenever she tries to talk to me, I pretty much just ignore her. She works a lot though, so it’s pretty easy to just ignore her most of the time.

“Out,” I supply on my way to the door.

“Dressed like that?” She wonders.

“No,” I state sarcastically. “Dressed like a teddy bear.”

“Venice,” She calls my name so I stop walking and turn to face her. I’m wearing a short and simple black dress that flares a little bit at the waist and bright purple heels. The weather is warming up but I still have a jacket on because it’s night time so it’s pretty cold. It’s simple and elegant and my blonde hair is up in a tight pony tail. I do look pretty nice, I think. “Can we talk?”

“I have places to be,” I tell her while pursing my lips. “And if I haven’t made it clear yet, I do not want to talk to you. Like, at all.”

“Venice, I am still your mother,” She reminds me as if that’s supposed to mean something or just suddenly make me respect her and start talking to her and start bonding with her like we’re best friends.

“What is it with you and Eli?” I wonder with a hysterical laugh. “Just because we’re family doesn’t mean that I have to forgive you for what happened. It actually makes what you did to me even worse. You fucked me over, not the other way around.”

“Language, please,” She pleads softly. “I want to apologize for what happened and I haven’t gotten the chance to really sit down and talk to you.”

“Whatever,” I mumble. “Like I said, I have somewhere to be.”

“I know that you don’t like me, but I am your mother and I don’t want you going out tonight. You live under my roof again, young lady, and you will listen to me,” She insists with a motherly glare that I used to be afraid of.

I glare back at her and stroll over to the hallway where my dad’s office is. He’s working in there now, so I call through the door, “Hey, Dad, I’m going out tonight, okay?”

“Okay, sweetie, have fun,” He calls back.

I smile over at my mom and shrug. “I live under my dad’s roof and he says that it’s okay. You waived all rights to be my mother after you ran me off so I don’t want to hear it.”

“Venice,-“ She starts to speak but I open the front door and step outside before I can hear what she has to say. I really don’t care about what she has to say at all.

I get in my car and push my key into the ignition before driving off towards downtown. The buildings start getting taller and taller and when I spot the right sky scraper even in the darkness, I drive through the thin streets and finally find the right parking garage. It’s eleven at night so I guess it’s not the safest place to be in a short dress and loud high heels, but this is the parking garage of a five star hotel so I don’t feel like I’m in danger at all.

Once I open the main door of the hotel, I’m greeted by a door man. I smile and wave at him as I make my way towards the elevator. It’s so late that the restaurant is closed but the bar is open however, nobody is really in the lobby which is nice because I really don’t want anybody to notice me here.

I get in the elevator and press the button for the top floor where I know that his room is. I’m shaking because I know that I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t let him get to me. I don’t need him anymore. I have Benson. I don’t need to be here.