Chapter 14

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Before I realised it, I had packed all my stuff that I needed and moved in with Pete. Pete had told me to leave the rest behind because he would buy me new furniture once I found a new flat. There was something seriously wrong with this guy, I was sure of it because he was just too nice but there was no chance winning against his stubborness.

We didn’t talk much during the drive, when we got to his place, I kind of just heard that he wanted me to unpack the next day and then he just carried me to bed because I was so tired and to be honest, had already fallen asleep in the car which was probably the reason why we hadn’t talked. When he was about the leave the room, I pulled him back to the bed. “Are you hitting on me again, Miller?” he asked and I heard him chuckle. I smiled. “No, I just wanted to tell you that you can sleep here too. Again. Please.” He laughed and took off his shirt and skinnies, then lied down next to me in bed. Tears ran down my cheeks again because I once again realised that I had fucked everything up and now I was living off of Pete’s pity for me. I sobbed and tried to wipe my tears away but Pete just put his arm around me and pulled my face to his chest. “Shh … don’t cry” he said and kissed my forehead. “Thank you so much” I cried but my voice was only a hint. He laughed softly. “No need to thank me, sweetheart. I’m here for you.” I sobbed again. “You’re amazing” I said, starting to feel dizzy and falling asleep shortly after.

I woke up and still felt Pete’s arm around me, I opened my eyes and looked up. It hadn’t been a dream, this shit, all this shit about losing my job, it had really happened. Fuck. I always hoped that this kind of stuff had only happened in my dreams so I could breathe out in relief after waking up but it was barely ever the case. It would’ve just been so much nicer if it hadn’t been real so there wouldn’t have been the need to face the problem. But I fucking had to. And I wouldn’t be living here any longer than necessary, I decided.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Pete smile at me. “Did you sleep well?” he asked. Just him being there almost made me cry again. “What’s wrong? No, don’t start crying again, please” he said and sat straight, pulling me up too. “Thanks for being there for me” I whispered and rested my head against his shoulder. He stroked my hair. “You’re welcome” he just said.

“What’s the plan for today?” he asked after a few seconds. “Because you don’t need to look for jobs or a flat right now, you should chill out. I’m going to this birthday party downtown, it’s the Madden brothers’ birthday and I’m DJing there.” “DJing?” I asked. I hated the fact that he did that, I had hated it from the second I had read it online. “Yeah.” He actually seemed excited which upset me even more. “You wanna come along? They told me I could bring someone, it’ll be fun.” As much as I was a fan of Good Charlotte and the Madden brothers, it would’ve hurt me too much to see Pete DJing. “No, thanks” I said and I was thankful for everything he was doing for me but this was too much and he’d have more fun without me anyway.

But I had confused him. He looked at me, raising his eyebrows. “Why not?” I had to lie. “I want to look for a job and a new place, please.” “Don’t lie to me, Miller” he said, now starting to sound slightly pissed. “I’m not lying” I said and got up, leaving the bedroom. He followed me. “Tell me!” he demanded when we were standing outside the bathroom. “I just did!” I replied. But the argument had just lost all its seriousness because of the fact that my hair was all messed up from sleeping and he was only wearing boxers. “What’s wrong with DJing?” he asked. “I didn’t say anything was wrong with DJing, Pete!” “No but you looked at me like there was when you repeated it, like you didn’t like it.”

How had he noticed that? How had he recognized such a little thing? His voice became softer now. “I’m not going to be mad at you, Charlie, I just want you to be honest with me, please.” “You won’t be mad if I tell you the truth?” “Of course not, you’re my friend.” I looked at the ground. “Please” he begged. “I think that you are … too good for that. You’re wasting your talent. You don’t need any skills to DJ. But Pete, your songwriting, that’s a skill not anybody has … but you do and your songs are amazing and it’s just … you … in my opinion, you never should’ve thrown that away.” “Someone’s a Fall Out Boy fan, huh, Miller?” “I’m telling you this as your fan, yes, not your friend. When I was younger, I loved Fall Out Boy so much, you guys were such an inspiration to me because you were only a little older than me, doing something so great. I loved all the albums and I was such a big fan, I listened to you when I was still in school and your music always kept me going. And I know I’m talking for so many fans that are my age who got into your music when they were teenagers here. Your music, it was so inspiring and I hate what you did with Black Cards, I’m sorry but I do and I hate that you DJ! I’m sorry, I’m just being honest. I could relate to Fall Out Boy stuff so well, it kept me going. And when you broke up, my world actually fell apart. I sound like the weirdest fangirl right now but please, see this as an opinion from a fan but advice from a friend.” He looked at me. He was starstruck from my speech. “I had no idea that you think that.” “I had no idea I’d ever be able to tell you that. I listened to you on my way to school, looked up to you and I still do but now I’m standing here in your house, living with you and I got the chance to tell you that but … I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry.” “You just … it just makes me think. But please, come down to the party with me.” “I really couldn’t handle seeing you waste your talent like that” I said and turned away, walking downstairs.

“But it’d be so much more fun if you were there.” “Trust me, it wouldn’t. I’m grateful for everything you’re doing for me but please, I think I’ll actually stay here and look for a new job and a new flat when you’re out.” “Are you sure?” I nodded. I didn’t just want to go there for the sake of meeting celebrities either.

When Pete left around noon, I changed into more comfortable clothes and sat at the kitchen table with my laptop. When it got darker outside, I warmed up some pizza from the fridge and ate it in front of the TV. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Pete couldn’t be back so early, I thought and Gabe had a key so could it be? I wasn’t sure if I should open but I slid into my flip flops and made my way to the door. Ashlee stood on the other side, with Bronx on her arm. “Oh. It’s you again. Where’s Pete?” I frowned. “Hey, Charlie” Bronx said and I smiled. “Hey, buddy. Pete’s not here.” “Then what are you doing here?” Ashlee asked, her voice all bitchy again. I just wanted to slap her. “I’m … it’s complicated but I’ll be living here for a while.” She looked shocked but tried to keep calm. “I was supposed to bring Bronx over, didn’t he get my message?” “Hold on, I’ll call him” I said and took my phone. Suddenly, I heard a Blink song playing in the other room. “Looks like he forgot his phone, maybe that’s why he didn’t get your text” I said. “And what am I supposed to do now?” she asked dramatically. She seemed stressed and really desperate, also she was all dressed up. “Were you going out tonight?” I asked her. “Yes, I was going out, fuck! What am I…?” “Hey, calm down. Ashlee, if you don’t mind … I could take care of Bronx. I mean, I know you don’t trust me but you know Pete does and that should be your reason to trust me too … it’s just an offer but I’d take good care of him. We’ve already become friends the other day.” She frowned and blinked quickly a few times. “Would you think I’m a bad mum if I just let my child stay here with you even though we don’t know eachother very well?” she asked hesitantly. I laughed and shook my head. “Hey, I offered it, I just want to help.” “Why are you living here?” she asked. “I … lost my job and I couldn’t afford my rent anymore. So … Pete was the nicest person ever and said he’d let me stay here for some time.” “Wow, bright future” she mumbled and I was just about to take my offer back. “Sorry, I’m sorry, please, could you take care of Bronx?” “Of course” I said, although she was already annoying me again. It wasn’t Bronx’ fault. She kissed his cheek and let him down. “Goodbye, sweetie, goodnight. He has eaten already, don’t get him to bed too late” she said and left me with her kid.

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