Sinner (MATURE 18+)

14

The very second the words "your aunt", fell out of Carsir's lips, I stopped him.

"Drive." I didn't want to hear the words, but my heart sank anyways. I turned away from him as he raced down the streets, my chest rising and falling shakily. Tears sprung to my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I clamped a hand to my mouth, silencing the pain-filled cries.

She's gone.

I knew that's what happened, I had felt it in my heart. Despite her and I not being as close as years previous, she had been the only mother figure in my life. My mind traveled to good memories, zoning out of reality.

12 years ago

I jumped on my aunt's bed excitedly, and she tsked, glaring at me to settle down.

"Guess what auntie?" I had been 10 at the time, returning from my first date ever. My aunt didn't know I was out that day, and I had lied, telling her I was at the library with a friend. It was half the truth. I was sitting in the library with my boyfriend.

"Yes darling?" she asked, flipping through a magazine. I grinned, pulling the magazine down so her attention was on me.

"I like someone from school," I admitted, my cheeks blotchy red. She gasped dramatically, patting the spot next to her. I hastily sat next to her and she wrapped an arm around me.

"Is my baby growing up?" I giggled, resting my head against her shoulder. "What's his name?"

"Arthur! And auntie!- he is sososososo cute!" I exclaimed. "He's tall, like 5'2 or something! I'm barely up to his shoulder!" She laughed, kissing my hot cheeks.

"Is he a nice boy?" I nodded enthusiastically.

"God, yes!" I lowered my voice before whispering the next words. "I think I love him." My aunt frowned, looking at me funny.

"But you love me more right?" she asked, a look of feigned sadness on her face. I gasped and hugged her tight to me.

"Of course! I love you the most auntie!"

Carsir stopped the car, pulling me back to the real world. A world without my aunt. He pulled his keys out of the car, the headlights turning off and returning us into utter darkness.

"I don't wanna go in there Carsir." Salty tears made their way into my mouth and dripped down my jaw. Carsir didn't respond and instead exited the car and came around to my side. He gently pulled me out before taking his jacket off. He placed it on my shoulders, his scent surrounding me. He held me close to him as I sobbed into his chest, my head pounding.

"I'm here for you Elena," he said quietly. I shook my head but we took steps towards her house. Slowly, we made our way to the front door and this time the guards didn't question us both and let us in. I let go of Carsir and sniffled before heading up the stairs. He followed a few paces behind me. Outside of my aunt's room were a few lords, pity in their eyes. They bowed as I passed but I ignored them and threw her doors opened.

On the bed laid my aunt, white sheets covering her up to her chin. The sight was a blow to my heart as I staggered towards her dead body. My lip wobbled as I took in her appearance, no sign of life.

"Auntie!" I cried, and sank to my knees, hugging them to my chest. I sobbed loud and ugly, head huddled between my legs. Gurgled noises of pure agony escaped my lips, as I was surrounded with the most pain I had ever felt. Physical pain, sharp stabs in my soul, bleeding out in my tears. I felt arms around me, but I threw them off, my head snapping up.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed, scooting back. Concern was evident on Carsir's face, but he froze. "Don't touch me, don't touch me," I repeated, my voice quieting with every word.

She was gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone.

Gone from my life forever.

Carsir ignored my cries and instead picked me up, and walked straight out of the room. My eyes were squeezed shut as he took me into another empty bedroom, where he gently put me down. I breathed heavily for a few minutes, trying to relax and not fall into another fit of sobs. Carsir sat at the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands.

"Carsir?" I whispered, voice broken and cracked. He lifted his head to look at me. "Can I have some water?" He left the room only to return a few moments later with a cup in his hands. He held it to my lips and I gulped it greedily.

"Elena-"

"I need to go," I interrupted, scooting away from him. I couldn't stand to be anywhere near this place or the people in it. I needed distance.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked. I shook my head and held my hands together.

"Anywhere but here." I stood and moved to open the door when his hand clamped around my wrist.

"I'll take you-"

"I'm going to go see Lincoln," I decided, looking away. Carsir let go of my wrist suddenly and stood. There was a moment of ragged breath before he replied.

"I don't want you to drive in this state, I'm taking you," he said. I nodded and we quickly left the house. As we got into the car, I took a shaky, deep breath and forced memories to stop flooding my mind. I croaked out the address and he drove. I rested my head on the window and stared at the dark streets, blurry with my tears. I shivered and pulled his jacket closer around me, still only wearing the small red dress.

A treacherous tear slipped down my cheek, and before I knew it, I was a waterfall all over again. I furiously wiped at my face, but stubborn tears still fell out. I giggled suddenly, a lonely, lost sound escaping my mouth. The car stopped and I recognized Linc's apartment. I swallowed and pulled off Carsir's jacket before handing it to him. He took it without saying a word and l left. I weakly approached the building and cast one last glance back at his car before entering.

As soon as Lincoln saw my distraught appearance he opened his arms for an embrace. I eagerly wrapped myself around him, pressing my head into his warmth as an attempt to forget what had just happened. I needed someone, but Carsir was the last person I wanted around me at the moment. He was too close to the situation, looking at him would remind me of my aunt. Linc let me in and cupped my face.

"What happened, baby?" His thumbs rubbed across my cheeks, deep concern etched into his features.

"M-my aunt..." I mumbled. Linc released me for a second and pulled me deeper into his home, a place I haven't been in for years. We were in his bedroom soon enough and he rummaged through his closet before handing me a large shirt.

"You should get into something more comfortable, it'll make you feel better," he said, motioning towards the bathroom. I nodded and stumbled into the washroom, flicking the lights on. I stripped the dress off and slid his clothes on, turning the tap on. I used his face wash and cold water to freshen up and headed back into his room. He sat on the bed, eyes tired. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head violently. "I just want you to hold me, please."

"Of course, Elena," he murmured, and pulled the covers over me as I joined him. He spooned me, his arm around me. I held onto his hand, one last tear streaking down my face before I closed my eyes.  

A/N: Totally didn't update last week, so double update!!