You Found Me

Chapter 19

Three months and nothing had changed.

Nightmares, terrible nightmares haunted me every night and I became afraid of sleeping. I kept asking myself why Matt died, scenarios of what I could have done different; maybe he’d be here and I’d be gone. Somehow that seemed almost fair, sometimes I caught myself wishing I had died in his place.

“Riley, you need to get up and shower, eat, move.” Drew said gently. He hadn’t left my bedside and as much as I appreciated his patience, kindness and love I was getting sick of him.

I didn’t want to do anything but die.

“Everyone misses you and they want to see you, talk to you!” He said exasperated when I didn’t respond. I just sat there, like a rock- it suited me just fine.

A few minutes passed and I just stared out the window until I heard him sigh. “I’m not going to let you sit here like this anymore; we were all upset that Matt died and it still hurt but he wouldn’t want you to be like this, he’d want you to live your life.”

He walked into the bathroom and shut the door, the squeaking noise of the tap as water began rushing out of the pipes; was he flooding the fricking bathroom?

Minutes later he opened the door and the water crashing became louder. His sleeves were rolled up and wet on the edges slightly. He stood by my bed and before I knew what was happening he scooped me up and strode into the bathroom.

When I saw the rapidly filling bathtub complete with scented bubbles I freaked; he expected me to get naked? I clung to his shirt and squealed when he dumped me into the tub; clothes and all.

Water splashed all over his shirt and soaked through but that didn’t seem to worry him at all. Picking up a loofa he poured soap onto it and handed it to me. “Scrub.”

I glared at him as I took it and gestured to the door. “You did your job, now get out.”

He shook his head and turned around, slipping off his wet shirt. “Nope; I don’t trust you enough right now to leave you by yourself, I don’t want you to hurt yourself. I’ll stay like this but I’m not leaving.”  I swallowed my tongue as I watched the muscles in his bronzed back flex as he moved.

The pure determination in his voice told me that arguing was a useless endeavour so I tried to loosen the ties on the side of my gown but they were tied way too tight to compensate for my barely there frame. Looking down at myself it shocked me how thin I was; but then what did I expect? I’d been starved and hurt for who knows how long? My hands shook as I tried to pry at the knots but after a few minutes I huffed in frustration and mumbled, “Stupid gown.”

“Do you need any help?” Drew asked, titling his head slightly.

“How did you-,”

“Werewolf.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded as a tear slipped down my cheek; how could I forget? Drew is a werewolf. Jessie is a werewolf. Archer is a werewolf. Cam is a werewolf. James is a werewolf. Everyone in this castle is a werewolf. And Matt was a werewolf.

“Shhh, it’s ok Riley, here.” Drew gently untied the soaking robe and helped me pull it from my body as I sunk down under the bubbles in an attempt to hide.

I grabbed the loofa and raised a leg as Drew sat with his back to the tub- at least he was being true to his word not to look. I had never figured that he’d be one for tough love.

I spent at least half an hour in the warm bath, until the bubbles began disappearing. “Could I get a towel?” I asked him, looking around for a towel.

I’ll admit I did feel a bit better after a bath but I wasn’t going to tell Drew that- he didn’t need to know that he was right.

Drew handed me a towel and gave me a small smile. “I’ll call someone to get you some clothes.”

He disappeared out of sight and I stood, folding the towel around me.  Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention and I froze when a rail thin girl with sad deep blue eyes and long, wet hair. Me.

I was paler than I remembered, my face was sunken, sharp angles and high cheekbones made me look near death’s door, my eyes were haunted. My eyes ran over the visible skin and I shuddered at the pale almost silver scars that marred my skin.

Matt’s last words drifted through my mind as I stared at the sick, sorrowful girl in the mirror. Me. “Because you’re pretty

I snorted and shook my head; not so pretty now am I?

On my neck, stood a red scar; a reminder of those weeks, of what I’d done and what Liam and Paul had done to me. I’d watched my best friend being slaughtered like a pig and then I killed another living being.

The thought made me feel sick and I gripped the sink as my skin crawled. I’d killed someone. Matt was gone and they’d almost killed me. It was a nasty scar and I’d have it for the rest of my life; even despite the hybrid blood running through my veins.

Was Paul really dead though? What were the limitations for vampires?

I felt my knees buckle and fell onto the floor.

Where there more vampires that would come? Would they try to take me away? Hurt me like Paul?

“Riley I got c- what the hell happened?” He asked, dropping the clothes he was carrying and leaning over me. I watched quietly as his beautiful emerald eyes trailed over me worriedly, looking me over searching for any sign of injury. He wouldn’t find any though- the only thing that hurt was my heart. I was damaged, scarred and broken- mentally and physically, but in that moment, it felt like the only hurt I’d ever experienced was in my heart. My best friend was gone, my parents were gone and I felt like if I was all alone.

But it wasn’t true, looking up at Drew I knew that. My heart was heavy with grief but I wasn’t alone. I wrapped my arms around Drew’s neck and pulled him close as I let the tears roll down my face and onto his neck. “My heart hurts.”

I wrapped my legs around his waist with the towel awkwardly wedged between us, barely covering anything but I didn’t care. It felt good to have human contact; I felt safe, I knew Drew wouldn’t hurt me and it felt good.

One hand rested on the small of my back to hold me up and the other gently stroked my hair. I pressed my face into his chest as he whispered gently to me while walking.

He sat down on the bed and his hand ran up and down my back slowly. “I know it hurts right now Riles, but it gets better. Matt wouldn’t want to see you so sad; he’d want you to be happy.”

I knew that his words were true but it didn’t dull the ache anymore; it would take a long time before it began to stop hurting, and even then I knew that it would never go away.

They say time heals all wounds but how much time would it take before it stopped hurting so much?