A Certain Not-So-Bad Boy

{twenty-one}

"A panic attack? How many times has this happened before?"

I sat on a sofa next to Carson, and across from us in a big armchair was Dr. Miller. She was a middle-aged woman with strawberry blonde hair and kind brown eyes. Oh, and she was a psychiatrist.

Carson made me come here immediately after I realized I had a panic attack. I tried to resist, telling him I was fine, but I knew it wouldn't make a difference. He marched in here with me and bought us some time with the doctor in between patients (literally-- he bribed the receptionist).

"Only three times, but that was after my mom... died," I said quietly. "My best friend was there all three times, and neither of us ever realized that my 'episodes' could be panic attacks."

"I'm assuming you were reliving the scene and that made the emotions come flooding back?" I nodded. "This is normal with patients who have suffered traumatic experiences. I'll be back in a moment," she said, standing up and exiting the room.

Carson's gaze was burning into the side of my head. "For real now," he said seriously. "Are you okay?"

I smiled a little at how concerned he was. "I am, I promise. Just a little shaken up."

Carson reached out and pulled me into him in a brief embrace. "You scared me."

I didn't know what to say, especially not when he was looking into my eyes like that. Then I realized I didn't get to finish my story so I cleared my throat. "I wasn't done, you know. There's still more to tell."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded my head. "So the guy that crashed into my mom? He was Brooke's brother."

"Wow," Carson commented.

"I know, right? But my dad's a lawyer. He begged and begged to take the case and put Brooke's brother behind bars. He wasn't supposed to be let on since he had such intense emotional ties to it, but somehow, he got the case. He fought so hard for her, Carson. But in the end, the Warners kept their son from prison. It cost them a lot, though, especially trying to keep the accident under wraps. Their company was at its all-time low, they lost a fortune. But now their son is being trained to take over the business one day.

"That's why Brooke hates me. She thinks it's my family's fault that their business almost went under and her family was 'suffering'. She keeps threatening to expose the fact that my dad shouldn't have had the case. And if she does, he'll lose his job, and maybe his attorney license."

"I can't believe someone could be so--" his angry sentence was cut off by the door opening again.

Dr. Miller walked in, holding a white paper bag with a paper stapled to it. "This bag contains two inhalers, just in case you get a panic attack again, as well as a bottle of pills to take after a panic attack. Keep one inhaler at home and one in a bag you have with you often, maybe at school. Give a friend some of the pills, and close family members in case this ever happens when you're with one of them. Take it easy for a few days, and get loads of sleep. Other than that you're all set to go."

"Thank you, Doctor," I said with a polite smile. Carson and I walked out of the room into the waiting area.

"Actually, I almost forgot to tell you."

"What?"

"Well, Clark's been trying to stop me, but... I've been paying for Grayson's chemo treatments."

My mind traveled back to all the times I'd seen him talking on the phone or texting angrily. "That's... " I didn't even know what to say. "Are you serious?"

We approached Carson's car and I tugged the door open and sat down on the leather seat. "Yeah," he confessed. "It's not like Clark's going to miss the money. Might as well use some of it for helping someone."

The drive back home was filled with a lighter air between us and I was walking up to my front door before I knew it. I waved at Carson as he pulled out of my driveway and turned to open the door.

I felt lighter today. Tired, maybe, but I also felt like a weight had been removed from my shoulders by opening up to Carson.

I trudged into the kitchen to look for something to eat and saw my dad.

"Hey, sweetie. Where have you been?"

"I was with a psychiatrist." He looked at me, startled. "Look, I never told you, but I had a couple of these 'episodes' right after the accident. They always happened with Amber, and it didn't happen again until I got one today. I was with Carson. He took me to a psychiatrist and she told me they were panic attacks."

He stepped towards me and engulfed me in a hug. "I had no idea, Maya. Are you alright?" he asked, stepping back to look at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I held up the bag. "Se gave me two inhalers and some pills to take if another panic attack ever comes, and she said to give some to family members just in case. I'll put these in an old pill bottle and label it."

"I'm just glad you're okay. You should be careful for the next few days because if something happened to you--"

"Dad. I love you, and I'm not going anywhere," I said.

He smiled at me. "I love you too, sweetie. You should go rest."

I nodded. I really needed some sleep.

{a/n}

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-Seagull