Three days five hours and twelve minutes since H fell into a coma. Three days five hours and twelve minutes since I found out I was pregnant. Three days five hours and twelve minutes and counting.
I sit in my wheelchair next to Harry's bed for as long as the nurses allow me. I know he can't hear me but I can't help but give him encouragement to wake from his beauty sleep. Well, that's what my mother called it, it sounded easier to digest over coma.
"I know you can't hear me but I could really use your help right now. I think I'm in trouble and I don't know what to do," I tell him looking around to make sure no one was around. Ever since those detectives came to question me I've been unsettled and impending an unfavorable outcome to all of this.
"I didn't want to tell you this but I'm pregnant Harry. We are having a baby and with these detectives down my throat, I'm scared. I really need you here," I tell the peaceful man who has fallen under a sleeping spell. I touch his bruised cheek and let my fingers linger for a moment before sitting back in my chair. I could feel the pain of my ribs knock against my skin causing me to wince at my unmedicated body.
"Chanel it's time to change out your wraps," Jackie tells me just in the nick of time.
"It's perfect actually, I'm really hurting I think I need more painkillers everything is starting to ache," I tell her while she wheels me out of Harry's room that has remained the same through the last three days.
"We will get you comfortable in no time, also Doctor Lonnie ordered an ultrasound for today just so we can monitor the baby," Jackie tells me as she unwraps my bandages gently careful not to inflict any more pain then I was already in.
"Is the baby okay? I thought you said the baby was fine," I furrow my brow and feel even more stressed. I hoped that my stress wasn't affecting the baby. I already felt horrible as it is that I wasn't aware of his or her presence.
"The baby was under some distress last time we checked so we just wanted to monitor it, make sure that our earlier concerns are a none issue. It's nothing to worry about," I look down and lose my breath when I see large purple and black bruises painting my torso.
"Oh my god," I breathe slowing down my anxiety as I put my hand over my mouth to take in the dark pigments that are splotched all over my olive skin. The bruising and scrapes litter my torso that was once wrapped in gauze.
"It's okay, it will heal in no time," Jackie could sense my nervousness as my hand slides down my face and back to my side.
+
"Just try to relax," The doctor tells me but somehow with everything going on that is the last thing I can do. Even if I wanted to calm down and come to a relaxed state I couldn't with Harry in a coma and detectives questioning my story.
"Okay..." I feel the jelly on my stomach and turn my head to the monitor where a black and white screen appears.
"I heard this is the first time you are seeing your baby, Jackie tells me that you didn't know you were pregnant," the doctor shares as I lay back and keep my eyes glued to the screen as if it's going to disappear. The shades of black and white blend to make a grey as the Doctor moves around the device sliding around my stomach.
"Things have gotten away from me I guess," that was the understatement of the century. How could I have missed the fact that I was gaining weight? The thing that also struck me as strange was no one else had seemed to notice either. Maybe they had but didn't want to say anything, I will never know.
"I wouldn't put too much stock into it, I've had women come in here about to give birth and they had no clue they were even pregnant to start!" The doctor tells me as he then finds the location and position he is looking for. "Here we go,"
The image reflects back on the screen, a little being the size of a plum. The outline of a baby mirrors on the screen while Jackie and Doctor Lonnie zoom in and out of the picture to get a better look at what they were looking for.
Somehow this made it all much more real seeing the outline of a baby growing inside of me. It hadn't fully dawned on me that I would be holding a baby in my arms in a few months but after seeing them inside me protected from the world it showed me that was the case.
I took comfort in the idea that I could protect him or her from the outside world. I could shield them from the big bad world that was slowly crushing me under its pressure. It would last long but I was holding onto that for as long as possible.
"Is it a boy or girl?" I ask infatuated with the little baby on display for me to see. They were so tiny and delicate, I couldn't imagine holding them in my arms one day.
"Unfortunately, we are unable to know until you are around 16 to 20 weeks. Good news is you are actually further along than we thought. You are about 14 weeks," Doctor Lonnie tells me eyeing the monitor looking for any potential threats to the fetus.
"Is the baby okay?" I follow up as Lonnie turns off the monitor watching my baby vanishes along with it.
"You've got a little fighter Mrs. Styles. A woman in your position with your injuries, the baby should have aborted. It's a real miracle that you sustained your pregnancy. I can't see any abnormalities with the fetus at this time, they seem to be just fine," Lonnie's smiles and hands me a paper towel to wipe off the remaining gel when I sit up.
"I wish Harry was here to see our baby..." I say out loud not meaning to blurt out my thoughts. Sadness seeps into my broken bones and takes a route in my bloodstream straight to my heart.
When I picture him with his bruised face and bloodied skin from the inflicted wounds my heart swells twice it's size.
I feel a large lightly callused hand on my knee, "We will do everything in our power to bring him back to you Mrs. Styles. Harry hasn't given up either, that was a fatal accident and you both made it out alive. When the paramedics saw your car flipped and crushing the both of you they were prepared to pronounce a time of death. You two are both strong and I'm going to do everything I can,"
"Dr. Lonnie, a patient needs you," a nurse in light blue scrubs interrupts his speech to me as my eyes glass over.
"Not now Dana-"
"Doctor it's Harry Styles, he's awake,"
"Harry's awake?" I ask my eyes lighting up at the mention of him.
What if Harry was back! What if this coma pulled him out of the "away".
"I'll be there shortly," he told Dana as she left Jackie helps me into my wheelchair. I wince in pain but ignore it knowing that I got to go see Harry. It felt like years since I had talked to my husband. We had left things on such a bad note that I longed to talk to him, to mend the broken relationship.
My heartbeat races as I am pushed through the busy hallways of staff and nurses all alike. Doctors look over charts before walking into the patient's room, making sure they don't miss a single detail of their conditions.
My eyes flicker to Harry as I'm pushed in the doorway, his green eyes glancing over at me. A smile ignited on my face while emotion slides down my cheeks in the form of tears. I touch his hands and kiss them crying when I looked up to see his green eyes again.
"You came back," I cried while I kissed his forehead, feeling his closeness brought an overwhelming sense of gratitude. "You came back to me,"
N. Not going to lie I was high key jamming to Back to you while writing this chapter. *emotions begin to intensify* the real question is, who's come out of the coma? H? Or Harry?;)
