"Harry, are you alright? You are being quiet," I tell my husband who hasn't made much conversation since last night. From the lack of explanation I had received, I couldn't help but feel like something was going on with Harry.
I had never heard him sound so scared, when I had picked him up he looked like a little boy afraid of his own shadow. He was tight-lipped the entire drive despite my efforts to ask and comfort him, he was closed off. He kept his wild green eyes on the road ahead of us, not straying from the one concentrated spot.
"I'm fine just a little bit tired, work was long today," Harry tells me forking his dinner I had made before he got home. I could see the tiredness he was referring to under his eyes displayed in dark circles.
"You were up all night last night," I point out and see Harry's jade green eyes meet mine as if he is caught off guard by my statement.
Harry had barely slept a wink last night, I can still see the light coming through the crack of the door.
"Harry?" I whisper in the moonlight soaked room that was empty of his presence, I turn over and lose my voice to the grogginess. Harry's side of the bed is cold and absent without him there, I furrow my brow and turn back around to see the bathroom door cracked open.
The slightest slice of light makes a sliver of visibility inside the bathroom. My eye catches the light and blinks a few times trying to adjust to the harsh and sudden light change. With limited visibility, I search for Harry who is leaned up against the mirror. His muscles are tense while his hair falls down in front of his face, his arms leaning on the white marble countertops.
He is breathing heavily as if he had just passed the finish line of a marathon. I refrain from intruding on him but this only escalates my worry for him. It felt like these four walls were closing in on me, my cheeks burned a rosy red color while butterflies flocked in hoards in my stomach.
"Did I wake you?" He furrows his brow and a shake my head dismissing his assumption.
"No, I'm just worried about you Harry. I don't really know what is going on with you lately but you know you can tell me. I don't know how to help you if you don't tell me what is wrong," I say and see him recoil slightly. He stays silent for a few seconds before coming up with a response to satisfy the conversation.
"Everything is fine, there is nothing going on and I am sorry if I have lead you to believe anything different," He tells me but I shake my head and scoff at him frustrated and worried swirling together like a soft served ice cream cone.
"Yeah your right everything is perfectly fine, it's not like you didn't have some metal break yesterday or even that we haven't had sex in three months!" I push my chair out from under the table and stand up feeling the surge of frustration and anger. I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks, the room is more suffocating now and I can't manage to bring down my boiling blood.
"Is it because you don't love me anymore? Or that you don't find me attractive? Or maybe its because you don't trust me-"
"Of course I love you! I love you more than I can even begin to explain, you are beautiful and the fact that you are all mine overwhelms me," Harry stands up and walks to my side of the table. He hands clasps around my folded arms as I release them in defeat.
"Then what is it, Harry?" Sadness soaks into my muscles and tissues while also seeping into the anger. A dangerous combination.
I can see the hesitation in his eyes, in his body language that I read like an unwritten book. I take a deep sigh and shrug off his touch knowing that these issues were still going to remain unresolved. Harry wasn't one to deal with conflict, he avoided it like the plague and with that meant problems were swept under the rug until they just piled up.
