Chapter 12: I thought he loved me...
Niall's POV
Why would I think anyone, especially Zayn, loved me? I wasn't worth it. I didn't deserve Zayn's heart. He doesn't love me but he was only doing it to protect me. I ran into my room, tears streaming down my face. I slammed the door shut and started for my bed when I nearly tripped on a piece of paper.
"Niall,
I do love you mate and that'll never change. No matter what I say, no matter what you hear I want you to know that I WILL always love you. You are my Snowflake. Simon is right, I will break your heart and I'm sorry for doing this to you. Love, Zayn. P.S.Look after my heart I've left it with you while I've given yours back so you're free. " He had enclosed the dogtag and I pulled my own out of my shirt.
Zayn thought he wasn't good enough for me. At least I knew he loved me. My heart ached and I longed to be in his arms, sniffing his smell, and feeling his body wrapped tightly around mine. I heard Zayn's phone go off next door and I searched for mine when I remembered I had given it to Liam. Suddenly I was very tired and once again I wished I could be safe in Zayn's arms. I pulled my iPod out of my dresser and put my earbuds in. The song, if we were a movie, made me grin then I grimaced. It was one of Zayn's favorite songs. I hit shuffle then fell onto my bed holding Zayn's shirt to my nose. Half asleep, I could almost pretend that the shirt was Zayn's chest and unsigned before I dozed off dreaming of my... I didn't know what to call him anymore. Dreaming of Zayn.
I woke up to Zayn screaming bloody murder but all I could understand was my name over and over. I threw my door open and went into his room. Zayn lay sprawled on the bed, sweating and moaning my name. I saw a few tears sliding down his cheek. I didn't care how much he'd hurt me but Zayn was in pain and that really hurt me. I went to him and crawled on his bed. His arms immediately circled my waist. He still screamed my name but eventually the screams stopped and he snuggled into my chest. He was iwhere I could protect him.
"Niallllll..." He moaned and I frowned. I couldn't help him then. I felt useless but Idid all I could by being there. I stuck my head down and sniffed Zayn's collarbone, just inhaling his sweet musky scent. I lightly nipped the skin, leaving a slightly bruised area. My eyes were heavy again and I closed them, sure to dream of the beautiful boy in my arms.
*The next day, still NiAll's POV*
My eyes slowly opened, I was overjoyed to have Zayn's arms wrapped around me. I had resolved not to seem weak anymore. I would be stronger, like Zayn. I couldn't let him see how much he'd hurt me. If the nightmare brought anything last night, at least it showed he still loved me. Zayn moaned and pulled away from me. Quietly I slipped out of his room and went downstairs. The other lads who were downstairs eating cereal, were puzzled when I came Downstairs.
"Hey Nialler. We didn't know you were here. "Liam said, spilling milk down his shirt.
"What do you mean? I haven't gone anywhere..." I said confused.
"Liam checked on you this morning but you weren't in your room. Where'd you go?" Louis said, entangled around Harry. I was so envious of them, that they got to be together. Zayn and I had only been separated because Simon thought Zayn would hurt me. I had to be stronger.
"Zayn."My throat clenched but I forced myself to keep going. "Zayn had a nightmare, he probably screamed himself hoarse. So I just went in there to calm him down and I fell asleep."I explained. Louis and Liam nodded but Harry looked angry.
"You slept in his room? After he did that to you? Niall he hurt you." Harry growled.
I was shocked, Zayn and Harry were like best friends after Haz and Lou. "Harry! He wasn't trying to hurt me! He was just trying to PROTECT me! Simon made him do that! Harry you don't get it. You an Louis are supposed to be together. Simon told Zayn he would break my heart and... And that me and Liam are better! He told Zayn he wasn't good enough for me! Can you imagine Simon telling Lou he would break your heart? Imagine that and then you can get mad at me for helping him. Only then. " I exploded. Nobody does that, nobody blames my Zayn for anything. But I guess he isn't mine anymore...
There was a squeaking on the the stairs and we turned to see Zayn looking at me, his eyes clouded.
"Morning Zayn." I said. I heard the boys gasp behind me. He was my best friend, we weren't gonna stop just because we had broken up. That'd be stupid.
"Morning Snow-Niall. " He stuttered coming down the stairs. Snowflake. I wished he could still call me that but I couldn't call him Zaynie anymore.
I walked over to Zayn and hugged him, just breathing him in. He went rigid and
I almost choked. He didn't hug me back.
"How'd you sleep Bebz?" I said pulling away and wiping the tears that threatened to slide down my face. Zayn swallowed thickly and I gulped. Even now everything he did had a direct consequence to me.
"I had a nightmare but I guess y'all heard that." The lads nodded.
Liam of course assumed the role of Daddy Direction."What was it about Zayn?" Zayn glanced at me catching my eye then quickly looked away.It was about me of course. What had I done to make him scream so Terribly? "How long have you had them?" Liam pressed on.
"Since uh Bootcamp. " The day he fell in love with me. "Simon called me. We have an interview in an hour so we'd better get dressed. I got to go take shower, excuse me. " He ran up the stairs and I heard the water cut on.
"Ahem."Liam said clearing his throat loudly. "What are his nightmares about?" I shrugged but realization slowly dawned on Liam. " They're about you aren't they? That's why he was always moaning your name!" I nodded. "That's why you helped him. You still love him don't you?" I nodded.
"Definitely. I've loved him forever. I'd rather him break me then him leave me. I'm gonna go get dressed." They looked shocked and I could figure why.
I walked up the stairs to my room to change and get ready.The door was open and as I walked inside, I saw Zayn,shirtless his hair was still wet, sitting on my bed. He was holding his shirt I had slept with. His face was tear stained but his eyes were dry.
"Hey Sn-Niall. Sorry I just had to... I had to.. Oh Niall I'm sorry!" Zayn said hurrying out of my room. I heard the door slam shut. I tried to shake the need to release tears threatening to slide down my cheeks. I walked to dresser and pulled a blue sweater cans and a pair of khakis out. Then I walked to the bathroom and stripped to take a shower.
