Lullabies (Jalex)

Chapter Six

Alex was freaking out and trying to hide tears. I was in the corner of the shelter with him. I rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head. There was also a counsoler beside me talking with Alex. Clearly she knew we were gay.

"Listen, Alex." She said to him, "I promise you. It'll go away. You are safe down here. I need to check on other people. Jack is going to stay with you." She got up and started talking to other campers.

"Please don't cry, baby." I said hugging him. He was sitting in the corner with his face in his knees. We were in the smaller room with only the counsolers trying to hide. I had explained everything. He looked up at me. He wasn't crying, he was just shaking. "I love you."

"I love you too." He said in a broken tone. He took a deep breath. I looked at the radar on my phone. The storrms were gone. There was wind and a tornado half a mile away.

"Everything is gone now. We're going to go back soon." I told him.

"Are you sure?" Alex asked. His voice was soft and strained. I nodded.

"I promise you."

----

After everyone else went up the counsolers brought us up to the office. When we got up there we sat there. Nothing else. No one told us what was going on. Alex stayed quiet so I did the same. I kept thinking about awful things. That was just the avarage mind of Jack Barakat. The mind I hated. Alex was playing with the strings on his hoodie. He didn't look bored, yet, he didn't look intertained. We had been in the basement of the shelter for two hours. And now here for two. Four hours. Four hours of hell. Camp was supposed to be fun. Not storms and sitting on a couch in scilence for hours.

About 15 minutes later my mom walked in the door. I slammed my head back. To make it worse, Mrs.Gaskarth. First thought: Alex and I being together

I jumped up. "Hi mommy!" I said hugging her.

"Jack, I'm not in the mood." She said signing in and walking into the back office with Alex's mother.

"What is going on?" Alex asked me. I shrugged and laid my head back.

"I'm nervous." I said holding his hand.

"I love you," He said, "That's what matters here." I smiled.

"I love you a lot." I hugged him.

-----

Alex's mom walked out and motioned for him to come over. She talked to him. He nodded over and over again. I stopped looking at him when my mom sat down beside me. She handed me my glasses and looked at me.

"I'm sorry mom." I said refusing eye contact.

"I'm not mad." She said, "How long have you been like this?"

"Since I was 12." I told her. She nodded. "What is Mrs.Gaskarth's feelings?" I asked her.

"She is not happy with Alexander." My mom said, "But she wants him to be happy. I feel the same with you." She paused, "I want you to meet her. And I want to meet Alexander. If he is a nice boy. I'll leave you alone."

"Thank you!" I said hugging her, "And, he is wonderful." Alex and his mom walked over.

"Mom this is Jack." Alex said. I shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Isobel." She said.

"Nice to meet you." I replied. She sat on the chair across the table.

"I told Jack your feelings on this situation." My mom said to Alex's mom. Alex grabbed my hand.

"Jack, I am not happy, Alexander didn't tell me this. I will give you a chance. But for now, I want Alex home." I felt my heart drop.

"Mom!" Alex cried out.

"I'm sorry. This is not something that I'll just let go." Isobel said.

"Please let me stay!" Alex said.

"Alexander, I'm sorry!" She scolded.

"I'm making friends mom! That's why you sent me here. I met Jack here!" He said.

"Alexander-" He stopped her.

"Its Alex, mom!" He yelled.

"You are being disrespectful." She said to him, "Gather your things. We're leaving." I looked at my mom. I stood up and walked back to the cabin with Alex.

"Fuck her!  Just fuck everything!" Alex said.

"I am so sorry." I said wiping tears from my own cheeks.

"Don't fucking think this is your fault." He said kissing me. "Besides, would I fucking leave you."

"I like you when you're like this." I bit my lip. Alex opened up the cabin door. Zack was gone. He sat on his bed and looked at me. His mom and my mom walked in.

"Alexander, get your things! Now!" She yelled at him.

"No, I'm not leaving Jack." He said very calmly. His mom stopped talking. I knew Alex had never acted like this, "I fucking love him! Why would I leave something I fucking loved! I don't want to be like you!" He stood up, "You sent me to Summer camp, you sent me here. The last thing you told me before we left Essex was to make friends. I made a fucking friend."

"Watch your mouth!" She scolded.

"All I want to do is be normal!" He said to his mom, "Mom, I don't want to make friends because I'm a stuck up British asshole!" He grabbed my hand, "I have everything I need. That everything is Jack."

"Alexander, you have a family!" She said. My mom was sitting on a chair.

"Yeah, who judge everything I do! I'm gay, and this is who I am." He said, "If you take me away from Jack, I swear, I will kill myself. Tonight."

"Alexander! I am done fighting with you! Get your things. I'm taking you home! Now!" She said hitting Alex. I wrapped my arms around him. He had a red hand print on his cheek.

"Alex!" I yelped.

"Get the hell away!" Alex screamed at his mom. She was in shock.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Please, don't think this is your fault!" He said holding onto me.

"If you go home, I'll go home." I rubbed his head.

"Don't waste your Summer for me." He said.

"I have no one except you." I kissed his cheek, "Only you."

"I'm serious, Alexander!" His mom yelled.

"Fine!" He screamed. He let go of me as I let go of him. He grabbed his stuff and put it in his bag. He grabbed his bag and guitar. "Done!" He said putting it on his bed. I gave him a shirt that was mine to put in his bag.

"I love you so much!" I said hugging him.

"I love you more!" He said agianist my lips. He kissed me.

"I promise, I'll see you!" I told him as his mom dragged him out the door. As soon as the door swung shut a stream of tears went down my face. I laid on his bed. My mom sat beside me. "Take me home!" I said covering my mouth.

"Baby, I am so sorry." She rubbed my head.

"Sometimes, I wish I could just be dead." I told her.

"Please don't." She said to me.

"Can I go home?" I asked.

"If you want to. This is your last year here." She said to me.

"I dont care about anything anymore." I told her. I put everything in a bag. Including the shirt Alex left for me. I grabbed my snacks and water. I also grabbed my guitar. I walked out of the door of Cabin 4.

Cabin 4: The cabin I spent 4 full Summers in. Trying to make it 5, but failing. Nothing mattered anymore. If I was back to being a depressed, lonley, suicidal teenager, that was what I was. Everything I wanted to be. Both Alex and I lived on the edge of Towson and Suburbia. The same area. I'd see him a lot. I hoped. In my case. That never happened.