The Arrangement

Chapter 41

Autumn

Silence fills the room as we lay in my bed, neither of us are asleep but neither of us wants the talk that's about to come. His head lays on my stomach while I play in his hair I know he loves when I do this and I love it also.

Staring out of the window I can hear the ocean and the rain. These few rainy days have not been the best and then at the end of the day we always find each other , back to square one how we left.

I never want to move from this spot, this room. It feels as if we're cut off from the world and time has stopped , I wish it could stop maybe then my heart can rest. Deciding I can't ponder on the what if's I speak up first.

"We need to talk Xzavier" my hands remain in his hair scratching his scalp.

"I know"

"How are we going to do this Xzavier?"

"All I can say is that we give it more time kitten , I don't want to lose you but I don't want to argue and break up again. Let's just have this time and then after graduation we can have the real talk"

I sighed heavily, I didn't want to talk after graduation because then I'll only be more sad at the fact that I was leaving and I wasn't changing my mind. I wanted so bad for Xzavier to see this is what I wanted to do , to go to that school and experience life while I'm young.

Of course life with him was exciting and made me feel most complete but that can't be my heart wants two different things I was split in two. I know he didn't want me to leave him and I didn't want to leave him but I can't just give up my dream.

"That's going to be tough if we wait that long baby"

"Can we Please not talk about that right now , I only want to think about happy thoughts with me and you here. Let's pretend that London didn't matter"

"But Xzavier you said we were going to have this discussion so why not now?" I was starting to get frustrated at his broken promise.

"Just drop it" his voice was becoming more aggressive So was his grip.

"Why can't you just talk to me about this , why has this simple thing drive us apart this way?!"

"BECAUSE AUTUMN YOU DECIDED TO MOVE TO FUCKING LONDON WITHOUT TELLING ME! DONT YOU THINK ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF , I LOVE YOU AND HERE YOU ARE JUST BREAKING ME , YOUR MAKING ME INTO SOMEONE I DONT EVEN RECOGNIZE ANYMORE!" His voice was so deep and intimidating, I just stared at him in disbelief.

Tears threaten to spill from my eyes but I held them back , I had to remain strong and stand my ground.

"Your blaming me for wanting a future for myself , how can you be so selfish Xzavier. My life didn't revolve around you when I signed up I was with Matt then and we were perfectly fine before you came in the picture and made me fall in love with you" I was fuming with rage , I didn't even believe half of the things I said to him but I said it anyway just to get him as mad as he got me.

"Yeah go and talk about that pathetic fuck , who cares what you two had you weren't even happy with him!"

"But I was until you blackmailed me! You were selfish then and your selfish now! I swear if I weren't so mad at Matt right now we'd be worrying about going to London together but no I had to-"

"What do you mean together?!"

"Matt and I signed up for the same college so yeah he's going to London also" I stood up making his head drop on the bed , I can't believe him trying to blame me for wanting a future at my dream school.

"Well then that's a good thing you AREN'T going"

"Says who?!"

"Says me , your boyfriend and your future. You can forget about London and Matt because your not seeing neither"

"Fuck You Xzavier! Get out I never want to see you again"

"I'm not going anywhere unless you are , so hey do your worst" I began hitting him all over making sure not to touch his face , I mean it's to gorgeous to mess up.

He wasn't even acting as if he were in pain from my blows but I could see the hurt in his eyes. He wanted me to surrender and let him decide what school I should attend and I just couldn't bring myself to do that.

I think I could do anything but that , something about going to London and experiencing all different things were exciting and have been in my dreams every since I've decided to attend that school when the time came and now that's exactly what I want to do.

"Get out!!" I screamed at him once more , my tears were streaming down my face as I continued to yell at him. I was so close to his face telling him to get out and that we were over but he didn't move he just stared at me , watching my every movement looking like a sad puppy.

"I'm not going" he said closing his eyes trying to contain his tears. I hate seeing him cry especially when I'm the cause of it , it makes me cry a thousand times more.

"I don't want you here Xzavier, leave now!" I threw pillows at him but he just sat still on the edge of the bed staring at me.

"I'm not going anywhere kitten so just stop this now , we were having a good day until you bring up this London thing why the fuck does this have to end our relationship every time. Fuck London and fuck that school , their not taking you away from me no one is so I suggest you calm the hell down before I make you" his voice changed and his teary eyes went back to normal.

His stance was more bold and his whole demeanor screamed dominance, as he stood up I sat down with my hands in my lap watching him approach me.

"Daddy doesn't like it when you make him sad... don't ever say that your leaving me again or I WILL punish you , understand kitten" I slowly nod my head.

I don't know what took over me to act so submissive to his tone , I wanted to fight the fact that his dominant ways were a turn on.

"Now come here" he opened his arms and I rushed into him.

We made our way back to the bed and payed down once again as if nothing ever happened. I swear sometimes we are both bipolar but weirdly it's our thing and I love it.

As we lay in bed he caresses my hair and whispers sweet nothings to me.

"Your never leaving me autumn I won't allow it. Your my perfect girl I couldn't ask for more , I love you so much. I'm so selfish and I don't even care because your mine and it's going to remain that way"
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