Naege malhaejwo, ige sarang iramyeon?

Chapter 6.

  It’s been about a week now since now ever since the event with Lu Han and him confessing to everyone about it. As much as the band members tried to hang-out and act ’normal’, Lu Han couldn’t do it. His body would just freeze up and go in to protective mode.  Sehun could tell he wanted to let go and live but he couldn’t and it just killed him on the inside. “Lu Han, I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be back to have movie night in 30 minutes tops~” Sehun called out to his boyfriend who was trying to find popcorn in the kitchen. Sehun made a heart with his hands to show him love and walked to him to give him his phone. “Play some games if you want, I downloaded that one cake making one for you~ w” Sehun said then walked away to take a shower. He hoped that Lu Han will be okay for 30 minutes. Being alone in the living room, the rest of the members were out doing some shopping they needed for the apartment. Lu Han smiled at the little cute gift Sehun gave him. Lu Han really loved cooking games, especially cake ones. He heard the water turn on and begin to run and thought he would just go sit down and wait there. He went into the little living room and took out the phone to play the game. Lu Han wanted to beat the game before Sehun came back all clean. The first cake  he will make he will write Sehun’s name on it for him. He unlocked the phone with ease and was about to got out off the test messages until a new text came up. Beep Beep Beeeep. Sehun’s phone went showing there was a new text with a little bird chirping as the ring tone. Lu Han clicked on it to get out of the messages trying again to play his beloved cake game. The room was all dark but for a little lamp and the bright phone screen shining on to Lu Han’s boy-ish face. His eyes were glued on the text message. His eyes began to sting from the brightness and from what was written. He didn’t mean to read it, he hated people looking at his stuff so he tried not to go through other people’s things. But the letters were bolded to meant to be read right away and he couldn’t help but read it. 

“Lu Han, I KNOW YOU’RE THERE READING THIS. DON’T HIDE FROM ME, I KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND NOW YOU WILL BE PUNISHED.” 

Lu Han dropped the phone and stood up looking around. Where is he? How did he find out.. SEHUN!  Lu Han thought while freaking out as he ran to the bathroom to make sure he was okay. He heard the water still going. The door was unlocked. Lu Han freaked out even more. "S-SEHUN." He could barely say but screaming on the inside.  Sehun poked his head out of the shower shocked to see his frighted boyfriend randomly come in like that. "What's wrong?" He said, his eyebrows forming one out of worries. Lu Han started crying in his hands. He was shaking so hard he couldn't breath correctly anymore. "Lu Han!" Sehun said and just went to get his towel from the sink without showing Lu Han his wet naked body. Lu Han walked closer to Sehun and walked right into the shower and put his face into Sehun's bare chest. Sehun was shocked at this but slowly put his arms around him. "H-He knows." Lu Han spat out and looked up at Sehun. "Wha-" Sehun started but was cut off by Lu Han kissing Sehun. Okay, now. What in the actuall fuck is going on.. Sehun thought. He couldn't say no to Lu Han and let him enter his warm mouth and let him explore in it. Fighting with his tongue every so often. "Lu Han." Sehun moaned. He couldn't help it. He never got this kind of attention from him. Sehun couldn't think to remember that Lu Han ran it here crying. What am I doing? Sehun, save me. The wet brunette thought to himself. Lu Han needed someone to keep his mind off of everything. He was desperate now. Sehun grew harder as Lu Han got closer and held onto Sehun tighter. "Sehun, please." Lu Han said. And both knew what Lu Han meant by those words. "Lu Han, you're not ready. I don't want you to regret this later and hate me." Sehun said putting his pad of his thumb on Lu Han's cheekbone and began to rub it to comfort them both. "S-Sehun~" He croaked and forced himself to touch Sehun's slim bare waist. Lu Han shivered and began to cry more. "Lu Han stop. You're only hurting yourself, please. You don't have to do anything. Let's talk about it." Sehun said being mature. Lu Han shook his head no, he was done with talking he didnt want to explain himself anymore. "Let me." He whispered. Sehun got goosebumps by those two words and nodded. He'd do anything for him. "I love you." Sehun moaned as Lu Han's hand went lower and cried more. Sehun took off Lu Han's shirt off and kissed his shoulder with care. He kissed all of Lu Han's bruises and cuts to make them heal faster. "You want to stop at any point let me know." Sehun looked deeply into his hurt boyfriends eyes and kissed his forehead. "I'll never hurt you." Was the last thing he said before continuing  to undress Lu Han to as he requested.  Lu Han let out a small nose of fear and pleasure as his boyfriend licked his lower lip and went to his sharp jawline. Sehun didn't want to go any lower... this would be their official first time together if you counted this fucked up situation. "Sehun, please." Lu Han cried while digging his nails into Sehun's back. Sehun listened and lighting propped Lu Han against the wall to kiss his shoulders and chest with ease. Lu Han moaned and bite his lower lip from crying any harder. "I-I love you." Lu Han screamed out but turned out as a whimper. He stopped to ask him if he wanted to stop but kissed Sehun's neck. The water had become the hottest it could and was burning both milky skin bright red. Unf. Both boys made as the slide down on the shower floor. Sehun was on top of Lu Han's skinny body. He saw  that he really had gotten a lot more skinny within a week. It broke his heart. Lu Han's tongue stuck out lazily, taking in deep breaths from the mostly vapor air. Lu Han hands guided Sehun's hands to has waist and shook underneath Sehun's body. Sehun couldn't do it. It couldn't be like this. "Lu Han, this is enough." Sehun exclaimed while seeing Lu Han's hungry eyes. Sehun got up and pulled him as well. "Here, have the towel. Don't want you to get sick." Sehun smiled and pushed Lu Han to there room and dressed himself fast before Lu Han could think of anything smart to do. "Want to talk?" Sehun asked while holding both of Lu Han's hands and on one knee looking up. "N-No." Lu Han turned away and jumped on his bed and faced the wall. Sehun gave up and went to brush his hair and brush his teeth. Lu Han poked his head out to see if Sehun really left. 

  Lu Han had gone to the kitchen and went to the drawer where they kept the knifes. Lu Han began to chock on his own tears as he picked up a smooth long one that they used to chop up thick meat for soup. "H-Help..me..."  Lu Han put the blade on his smooth baby skin of his thigh, no one would ever to think to look there... He made sure it was up high in. He took a deep breath and let his pain out. Lu Han couldn't bare the pain anymore of everyone asking him stuff and them always looking at him. Was he weird? Do the judge him for what happened to him? Why did it happen to him? And of everyone on the planet he  had to find him and do this. Why? All were running around in Lu Han's mind and he pushed deeper until he saw little drops of red and washed the knife and put in his room for later when he needed it again. How did he found out? Was he watching me before...? The hurt member asked himself as he laid down and waited for Sehun to come back. He needed his rock to hold him down from worse things. He checked the clock to see it read 1:43 AM and bite down hard rubbing his teeth together. "Sehun." Lu Han called out. His boyfriend came at once. "Lay.. with..me..." Lu Han demanded and moved to make room for Sehun. "Sweet dreams Bambi. I'll always be here for you~" Sehun said while wrapping his arms around Lu Han and kissed the top of his moist head. He already was sweating. "Lu Han lets just sleep in boxers, It's hot." Sehun explained and took off his P.J. bottoms and waited for Lu Han to do the same. Lu Han did it so Sehun would hold him back again, "Night." Lu Han squeaked as Sehun hand fell close to his wound on accident but turned towards Sehun to smell his chest for comfort. "Don't ever let me go." He mumbled into Sehun's perked nipples from Lu Han being so close and from the sudden chill of the being bare again. "Never." Sehun replied and planted his head on top of Lu Hans and both boys fell sleep to Lu Han softly crying.