My alarm goes off at seven the morning but I swear it feels like it's 2AM. I groan and drag myself out of bed and to my door. I stand there staring at my calendar waiting for my eyes to refocus. Wow, sleep feels good but it feels like I've been hit by a train the next morning.
Slowly everything comes back into focus and then I see the day circled on the calendar. Today's my date with Dr Hanning. Just what I needed.
I remember that he called me in for an important secret reason and my body goes numb with nervous and I just go through the motions of the morning.
Brush teeth, check.
Light make up and hair brushed, check.
Comfy shorts and cute top, check. Or, at least I hope it;s a cute top because I'm not totally registering what I'm throwing on my body.
I stop and look at myself in the mirror. "Amanda, you are a strong person and you will get through today. It's going to be nothing and then when you tell the girls about whatever you were stressed about, they'll laugh alone with you."
I let out a huff and smile rather convincingly at my reflection. Let's do this thing.
****
"Thanks for the pancakes mom. They were really great. But umm, where's dad?" My dad always ate breakfast with me and we'd read the cartoons in the paper together.
Mom had a scared look on her face which she quickly replaced. "Oh, your dad's working honey." Weird, he's been working a lot of over time lately. And what was up with moms strained smile? I really didn't like the way my morning was going.
On the drive to the hospital was silent. We never spoke on the way there because mom knew I was trying to be strong. So, as usual I closed my eyes and let the lyrics of Skyler Grey's Invisible sink in through my earphones.
The music helped calm my nerves and before I knew it, we were at the hospital. The architects tried to make it look nice and fancy but the moment mom drove away and I stepped in, the smell of sterilizer hit me. The receptionist, Janice, gave me a sympathetic smile and I returned it with a tight one of my own. We never spoke before an appointment, only afterwards. I don't know the reason for that but so far it's worked for us.
The thing I hated about MS was the symptoms and they always seem More prominent when I came here. Just walking down the hall to Dr H's rooms, i lost feeling in my feet and had the sensation of falling. Safe to say that by the time that I got to his office, I felt beyond ill.
"Hi there Amanda. Dr Hanning is waiting for you dear, you can go on in." Penny was always my favorite of all of Docs assiatnts. Usually her elderly face was sad and full of sympathy, but today she looked happy. That was a good sign right?
"Thanks Penny. I'll see you soon."
The passage to Docs office wasn't long but it felt like it went on forever. Everything stopped and feet moved without my brain telling them to. The whole time I kept repeating the song 'What about angels" by Birdy. It was so beautiful and sad that it just spoke to my heart in some strange way.
You've done this before. Deep breath. OK, knock.
"Come in." He always sounded so welcoming but that still didn't put me at ease. After three years of doing this monthly, I still hadn't gotten used to it.
"Hi there Doc."
*****
"I know you really don't like this part Amanda, but I need to show you your brain scans." Oh God, please no. I hated seeing them. It was like a confirmation that there was something wrong with me, that my mothers prayers for a healthy baby weren't answered.
YOU ARE READING
Wheelchair Races
Short Story"Manda, are we going to be okay?" "Of course Trev, I promise." "I don't like it here, it's not fun." "That's why we're going to have a wheelchair race." Amanda is a strong, independent teenager. But, she's about to fight in a war that only she and...
