Wheelchair Races

Chapter 9: It's time for a big brother

"Is she in her room? Never mind, I'm going to find her." Oh please let her be ok. We all knew there could be some serious drawbacks to this medicine but the drawbacks to the disease and its attacks were even worse. She has got to be ok.

Without a second thought I was out of my room and on my way to hers. It was only then that I realized that I was dressed in a hospital gown which meant that my butt was probably on full display because of those open back designs. Don't let Joan Rivers see me now. Mind you, that wasn't my biggest concern.

I arrived at her door after not long. Somehow my brain had tuned out the world and I had one goal and my body and mind were working to achieve that one goal; make sure Be is OK. I opened the door and walked to her bedside.

The healthy glow of her skin had gone and in the harsh white lighting she looked washed out and ill. Her face wasn't the happy face everyone was used to. The face of this girl laying in the bed, even though she was asleep, was scrunched up and had a look of pain on it. Her rich chocolate curls were matted and had lost their sheen. Something moist ran down my cheek and then I realized I had tears streaming down my face without me even knowing it. My heart broke at the sight of my "sister" who once looked like she should be a model. Before me lay a girl who was broken and sick.

"Be, please wake up. We can't do this without you. I need you here Be. I know it sounds selfish but you're always there for me when I need someone to talk to, someone to listen to all my stupid teenage problems and someone to watch the notebook with." I buried my face in the covers of her bed and held her limp hand while I begged her to wake up. I must have been there for hours because a nurse woke me only to send me back to my own room because it was too late for me to be out of my room.

I couldn't sleep however. I sat there on my bed thinking about the many unanswered questions. Why is it that bad things happened to good people? Were we actually making a difference with our volunteer work and could we be saved and save other people? Was Belinda going to be OK? Why did she get sick again? How could a sweet person like little Trevor become so sick that he finds himself in this place? Was I going to die? How were mom and dad? Did the people back home miss me? It was as if the questions ware pounding around inside my head and I thought I could hear them over and over again.  

"Hey, Mandy?" At the door stood Gavin. But why was he here at this time of the night? "Hey Gav, come on in."

He sat down on the bed with me so that we were both sitting crossed legged looking at each other.

"So you went to go see her then?"

"Yeah. You knew, didn't you? Just how bad she really was?" He must have also gone to see her before I did, that would explain the sad look he had in his eyes earlier today. Oh gosh, we had each gone through the pain of seeing her like that.

"Yeah, I was with her when they told me you had woken up. Trev hasn't seen her yet. I don't think the nurses want him to go see her because they're afraid of how he's going to react. But, speaking of reactions, how're you doing with everything? How're you feeling?" He seemed so genuinely concerned for me it hurt me all over again. It reminded me of my parents and how they were always living in fear and worry for me and my future.

"My heart hurts Gav." And just like that the heart wrenching sobs started. Gavin reached forward and held me close to his strong chest and whispered calming words as I cried.

"It's OK Amanda. You just get it all out; I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere." He rubbed soothing circles into my back until my sobs subsided. I pulled back only to be meant with a sad smile and soaked shirt.

"I'm sorry about your top Gav."

"Hey, it's ok. This top was here to catch all the sadness that your tears held. You just let it all go and I'll be here to share in the weight of it all with you." He gave me a small smile. "I might not be Be, but we're all in this together."

He was right. "Gav, I'm so scared for her and I don't know what's going to happen to the rest of us either. I'm so scared and I hate it!" I cried a little more there but was quick to pull myself back together again so that I could carry on speaking.

"When I saw what Be looked like, it just broke me. She's always so beautiful. Even when she says she's having a bad hair day or something. But today she looked so weak and fragile. Gavin, she looked sick." And cue another break down, and that's just what I did. I cried into Gavin again. I cried for Be, for all of us, I cried from the missing I felt for my parents and friends back home but most of all I cried for the helpless feeling that it seemed everyone had.

"Try get some sleep Mandy, I'll stay here till you fall asleep. Try get some rest." My breathing was ragged and I was shivering. Why was I shivering though? I lay down obediently because it felt like all the fight had left my body and questions had left my mind silent. I don't know which was worse though, silence or the noise of uncertainty. I was so thankful that Gavin was still sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing my back even while I was laying down. "Night Gav, thanks" I murmured to him as I started to drift off to sleep. As my eyelids drooped shut I think I heard him whisper "Sweet dreams."

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