Teach Me How To Love *on hold*

Chapter 11

Mia's POV

I've never felt so vulnerable and dirty ever since that painful memory. The memory that I thought I could get over. The memory that made me hate humanity, males in particular. The memory that almost led me to commit suicide. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my shins, if I could just curl up into a ball, I wouldn't have to face real life, I'd be protected from everything around me.But I'd still have to live with myself, with the wretched memories swirling around in my head. My eyes, already red and puffy from crying, squeezed shut to push more tears out. I let my head fall down to my knees, and I pulled my legs closer to me. No matter what I did, there was no where I could hide from the thoughts in my head.

The way Kyle touched and talked to me left that memory fresh in my mind as if it just happened yesterday. That's what triggered my asthma attack. And then there's Xavier. Both a blessing and a curse. A blessing cause he found me. I'm sure that if hadn't pitched up when he did at that classroom, Kyle would've come after me and god knows what he could've done to me. And a curse. A curse cause his actions scared me. The pushing of the cars brakes and the look he gave me when he asked me what happened. The look in his eye was absolutely livid and it succeeded in increasing my asthma. It really scared me. I nearly fell out of his arms when he picked me up, ignoring my plea of him not touching me. If I wasn't in the verge of death he too would've received a kick in the nuts. But I couldn't do or say anything besides hold onto him tightly. And when he tried to lay me down but couldn't due to me holding him, he laid down with me. I could've sworn my heartbeat almost stopped at that moment. He made the moment I couldn't breathe even harder. He was so warm. The feeling of him being so close to me felt so right but felt so wrong at the same time. My thoughts were all hazy. I need some sleep.

***

After waking up, I checked my clock to see it was only 3pm. No amount of sleep in the world could cure the tiredness I feel all the time. So instead of trying to fall asleep again I just laid there. A few minutes passed and then Esmey entered my room.

"Hey." she smiled

"Hi." I smiled back lazily.

"So do you want to catch dinner somewhere so you can tell me what happened? And don't say no cause I'll punch your boob" she crossed her arms over her chest to look serious. This is why I love her. She knows I'm going to tell her what happened. Esmey knows my whole life story. Good and bad. And she's been there for me since the start. She's like literally my anchor. Without answering I got up, slipped on huge sweat pants, a hoodie and my converse sneakers.

"Let's go for a coffee instead please, I really need it" I said.

"Yeah no problem. Starbucks is closer anyway." she answered as she locked the door.

Esmey and I spent nearly 2 hours at Starbucks. After telling her everything, she was ready to go find Kyle and beat him to a pulp. It took a while for her to calm down. The remainder of our time was spent talking and laughing about anything and everything.

"So Leo's throwing a party tonight at one of his friends fraternity houses. You're coming as well. It'll help you get your mind of what happened." she said

"I don't feel like going out Esmey. And I doubt anything or anyone will be able to get what happened off my mind. Especially at a party. Where there are men."

"Actually I think there is someone who can." she suddenly said with a sly smile. I looked at her puzzled. "He goes by the name of Xavier Hernandez."

My pupils doubled in size out of shock.

"Why and how will Xavier help?" I asked confused.

"Cause he likes you" she simply stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I was lost for words. It can't be true can it? Xavier can get any girl he wants. He's THE Xavier Hernandez for fucks sake. So why would he choose me? Besides we don't even know each other. The whole idea is madness if you ask me. But yet again Esmey wouldn't tell me this for fun.