Once Upon A Muslim

Chapter 15 | My Almost First...

Don't think I'm stupid, Kayla. I will find you. And next time you won't escape...because you'll be dead.

I just stare at the text. As usual, it's sent from an unknown number, but I know it's from Stephanie and her partners in crime. How the hell do they know my number? This phone is new. There's no possible way unless...they have a tracker on it. Or if they were following Harun when he bought it for me.

I decide not to use the phone anymore. I used Harun's phone instead to talk to Hafsa over the phone, since Harun first had it. So far, I haven't made any calls, and I don't recall texting anyone. I reminded myself to text Nick and ask how he knew I'm Muslim, since that only came to mind recently. But I didn't get the chance to, and I'm grateful for that. I haven't had the time to text anyone else. I called Zahra a couple of times from the house phone.

So it seems I've lowered the risks of getting tracked down.

After my phone call with Hafsa, I just sit on the bed and stare at the floor. What am I going to do? They somehow know my number. But I can't put a finger on it. This is all so confusing and frustrating. Just as I open the bedroom door, someone knocks on it.

"Um, are you okay? Do you need anything?" Harun asks me once he sees me.

I shrug. "I'm not okay. And no thank you."

He looks at me worriedly, but I just ignore it. "Kayla, you know you can tell me anything. You can trust me."

I look down at the ground again and sigh. "When your mom comes home, tell her that I'm at the park. Excuse me."

"Kayla, you just recovered from pneumonia! I won't let you go."

"I just need fresh air. I promise, I won't stay out for long. I just need a place to think." I grasp the doorknob tightly. "Can you please move? I said excuse me."

I don't look at him, but I know his expression must have hardened. "I won't let you go," he repeats with anger. "I actually care if you get hurt. You yourself said that you needed, what, a protector? I'm trying to be one but you're just putting yourself into more harm."

I look up and glare at him, rage pumping through my veins. "Why do you even care? I've been through more than you can ever think of. I know what's best for me, not you. You have no control over me anyways. You barely know me and..." I trail off as I try to find the right words.

"And?" he asks impatiently.

I just push past him and run down the stairs. I hear him running after me and I quickly grab my coat from the closet. I unlock the door and I'm cautious to not slip on the thick layer of ice on the pathway. I run through the grass and across the street, heading to the park. I turn around to see if he's still following me. He surely is. He's yelling my name now, but I just continue to make my way to the park.

Five minutes later, I sit on the park bench, out of breath. I hold the coat tight around me. There's no one around here, thankfully. I'm not in the mood of getting bombarded with questions. I just want to be engaged in my own thoughts without any disruptions.

The wind howls in my ears, and it whips me in the face with cold blows. The snow has cleared but there are patches of ice here and there. I know that Harun is right. I am putting myself in harm. But I really don't care. This seems like it's the end. My life is gradually becoming worse, and I don't think there's any way to make it better.

But I have to listen to Zahra. Allah never puts me through anything that I can't handle. But honestly, I feel like this is too much to handle. I'm becoming weaker and I can't fight back. I've lost my family and my home. I have unbalanced the scale. My weaknesses weigh heavier, while my strengths are lighter. I'm not immune; I'm invulnerable.