scar || mika reyes & ara galang

vii

January, 2017

Ara's POV

When I woke up, I felt a pang of dread when I saw the sunlight already peeking through the blinds.

I knew I wasn't going to be late, so I layed in bed a bit longer. Despite that, my heart was still racing with anxiety at the thought that this was the day. It still didn't sink in that this day was finally real. I figured nothing would happen if I just stayed in bed, wishing time would stop, so I headed to the bathroom.

In the emptiness of my condo, I heard my footsteps echoing on the floor. Funny, it was almost as empty as how I felt.

When I got to the bathroom, I began brushing my teeth. I noticed my swollen, blood shot eyes, with bags to match. I kept waking up last night, and tears occasionally fell from my eyes.

This is all your fault, Victonara, it's all your fault.

Hindi naman talaga balak ni Ye na umalis sa F2 eh. Kahit pinag-iisipan palang niya, alam ko na gusto talaga niyang manatili sa amin.

Pero may nangyari, at naramdaman niya na masmabuti para sa sarili niya na lumayo.

After the PSL All Filipino Conference 2016, the management of Petron offered her a contract that paid not that much more than what she already recieved, but they offered her other benefits as well. Things like publicity, which basically sold her to companies as a walking advertisement.

"Daks, gusto ko lang maglaro, yun lang. Basta't kasama ko kayong lahat, masaya na ako." She told me; but that was the last decent conversation we had.

A few days later, I met Bang through a mutual friend of ours. We were friends; nothing more, nothing less. The thing was, rumors began spreading—na nililigawan ko raw siya. Baka dahil nakikita ng mga tao na magkasama kami, pero grabe yung assumption na yun.

Just because she wants to hang out, it doesn't mean we're dating.

Ever since then, things changed between Mika and I. She began to be more passive-aggressive, and she began seeing this guy named Jerome. I tried asking her if they were dating or not during training, but she responded with, "Ewan, kayo ba ni Bang?"  and proceeded to walk off.

Jerome began picking her up, watching her train, bringing her to parties, and all the things 'adults should do.' I wanted to be concerned about her, but I knew she'd be cold. Jerome was changing her, and I felt pathetic because I couldn't do anything to prevent it.

Yesterday, the F2 management texted all of us that she decided to leave for 'family and personal reasons' and to 'step out of her comfort zone.' So, here we are now, going to Razon to say good bye. One last good bye.

The sad truth is, one day, we all wake up and realize that we're growing up. Unfortunately for me, today was that day.

My phone buzzed, and it was a message from Ate Cha, reminding me to bring Mika something. I grabbed the paper bag, and I checked the contents. I didn't even know if I had the guts to give her these things, but it's better than nothing.

During the car ride to Taft, I felt like I was going to have a stroke or a heart attack, or something fatal like that. I guess that's how you feel when you feel your sins crawling on your back.

I stepped into the gym, and the air was sour. You could feel the sadness envelope you like a Plague.

I went to put my things down when I saw Kim comforting a hysterical Kianna. Kianna sobbed even harder when she saw me, and she put her arms around me, sobbing into my shirt.