My blood ••|| Joshler //••

of taking

I'm sitting on my bed bitting my thumb, you know, the usual pose someone does when their scared or worried. I don't want my father to find me, he'll hurt my mother, he'll hurt my family, he'll hurt everyone I love.

I start to silently have a panic! attack. Silently cause I'm in my room. Josh told me that when I'm having a panic attack I need to tell him and that's exactly what I did.

I got off my bed and opened my door slightly to see if anyone's in the living room, I see Patrick and Pete cuddling. I open my door wide enough so I can walk out. I walk up to the couch where Pete and Patrick are.

"Do you guys know where J-Josh is?" I ask, sniffling. Patrick looks up from the tv while Pete has his eyes glued on it. "He's in his room, Tyler are you okay?" Patrick asks, "yeah I'm just having a panic attack, I'm sorry" I say.

Patrick gets up from where he was on the couch and gives me a hug "it's okay, you don't need to apologize" Patrick says while rubbing my back, "thanks Pat, I just need to see Josh" I say "okay, he's in his room" Patrick rubs my shoulders and goes back to his spot on the couch.

I walk down the hallway leading to Josh's room. As I get to the end of the hallway I'm standing in front of Josh's door, hesitating to knock. My hand balled into a fist ghosting over the hardwood waiting for my knuckles to come in contact with the door. Finally I muster up the courage to knock on his door, well, actually I burst open his door. Waiting didn't help and tears are streaming down my face, one after another, nonstop.

There's Josh, standing in his room all sweaty and breathing hard cause he finished play the drums. He's wearing black leggings with black basketball shorts and a red snapback, let's say the sightseeing Josh shirtless for the first time, It turned me on a little. But of course me having a panic attack, a really bad one too, I wasn't worried about that. Josh turns to me and takes an earbud out, taking in the sight of me crying and having sweater paws. The tip of my shirt sleeve soaked in tears.

"oh my god, Tyler are you okay, what's wrong?" he says, Josh puts his hands on my shoulders, looking me up and down, assessing if im hurt or not. "Yeah I just have anxiety, are you sure it's safe here?" I ask, Josh looks at me with worry clouding his eyes, "of course Tyler, I would never put you somewhere where it wasn't safe" Josh says while putting his hand on my cheek. I lean into his hand like I did with my mother. Josh moves me to the side of his bed and sets me down.

He kneels down, below my eye level and rests his arms and head on my legs. "Tell me, what's wrong Tyler?" he asks. I tell him everything my mother told me, from my father abusing her to us leaving. Everything spills outta my mouth, one by one in order. More tears fall from my eyes like a waterfall, Josh wipes them away gently like my skins made of porcelain and ill crack any moment if you aren't careful. When i've told Josh everything i'm sobbing. "How can I make you happy?" Josh says, I shrug my shoulders.

Josh gets up and sits next to me. I stare into his beautiful dark brown eyes, they look like they could hold everything. Josh is staring back at me, I can feel my cheeks heating up and turning a light shade of pink. Suddenly Josh leans in fast and crashes his lips onto mine, his lips are so soft.

I don't hesitate to kiss him back, my minds exploding, the kiss isn't filled with lust, but want and need and passion

Josh breaks the kiss to catch our breaths. "I've noticed how you look at me, Tyler" he whispers in my ear "you-you have?" I ask, a little embarrassed. Josh let's a laugh escape from his perfect lips "god, I've been waiting to do that for so long" he says

I stare into his eyes again, it's like he sees my soul. He takes my hand and says "When everyone you thought you knew deserts your fight, I'll go with you" how does this man have such an affect on me, he makes me smile in a matter of seconds "I'm serious Tyler, You're facing down a dark hall I'll grab my light and go with you" he tells me "you're gonna make me cry Josh" I say and giggle.

He cups my cheek and rubs his thumb along my cheekbone "you don't need to run, stay with me" I let a tear escape my eye and fall down my cheek. Josh kisses the tear away. "I didn't do anything to deserve you" I tell him, he touches our foreheads together "don't say that Tyler" Josh says "you and me, we're not alike but we're meant for each other" he says, Josh starts rubbing his thumb on my jawline, it's almost calming "I'll go with you, anywhere, you have such a big affect on me, Tyler, I don't know what I'd do with out you"

"Josh" I say sniffling "you're too kind, I mean come on, it's me" I tell him "you don't get it Tyler, you're so amazing in any shape or form, everything about you is so beautiful, your eyes, your lips, fuck your lips, I could kiss them all day, all your body parts are beautiful to me, you're so beautiful, why?, why can't you see that your not some shadow that people step on, you're alive, you're a real human being, the most beautiful one I've ever seen, I'm not making this up, please, believe me, one day" Josh states, he brushes the tears from my face, he's kisses all over my face making me laugh "Jooosh" I say laughing he kisses me on the lips a few times.

"God, the things you do to me Tyler, you're my will to breath ever since I saw you" he says "jeez, don't make me cry again" I tease, he kisses me on the lips one more time. Josh goes to kiss me again but we get interrupted my Pete coming through Josh's door.

"Brendon wants us out in the living room" he tells us "ok we'll be there in a minute" Josh tells him "no, like, now" Pete says "ok" Josh tells him. Pete turns around and walks down the hallway, not bothering to close the door. Josh pecks my lips real quick but couldn't resist and goes for more, I giggle "Josh, we need to go to the living room" I say between kisses "just a few minutes" he says smiling "no, Josh, come on"

I get up and grab Josh's wrist and drag him to the living room with me. We enter the living room and Josh hugs me from behind, he puts his head in the crook of my neck, leaving feather like kisses , I start laughing. "Ok, lovebirds, take a seat" Brendon says, I take a seat on the ground, Josh sits behind me on the couch with his legs on the either side of me. "So, unfortunately, since the um, accident at, um, school, there's been more white vans, now I don't know if it's the white vans we think but we can't take risks" he tells us "we have to keep a lower profile then we already do when we go outside, now I restocked the big refrigerator in the garage with proper food for me and Tyler so we don't need to worry about that" Brendon says "please don't tell me you took baby, that can barely take two crates of blood for you and Tyler" Dallon asks "no, babe, I didn't take baby, I took the truck, I'm not an idiot" Brendon responds "who's baby?" I ask "Brendon's 1967 Chevy impala" Dallon says "oh" I say.

"Alright, that's all I need to say, you guys can go back to doing whatever, worshiping Satan or fuckin around" Brendon says, Josh grabs my hand and drags me to his room, I giggle. Josh closes the door and kisses my lips a few times "so, so, beautiful" he says between kisses, I laugh. Josh softly lays me down on his bed, fearing like he'd break me. Josh kisses me again, them some more, then even more, till he's making out with me, our lips moving in sync. Josh breaks the kiss to ask "Tyler, will you be my boyfriend?" I smile "I thought you'd never ask" a smile spreads across his lips, god he's so cute.

The night ends with Josh laying on top of me, scrolling through his phone, my limbs tangled around Josh, my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent, calming me. I remember my eyes getting heavy, then soon, darkness.