The Way we Almost Weren't (Watty Awards 2012 COMPLETED)

Chapter 16: the colourless world.

Toms POV

I watched as the love of my life sat on that bed, talking casually. As I watched I seen the different ways she could have so easily died, she still could! With the enormity of the thought I turned and barging past Dr. Munroe I fled the room. I walked through the corridors of the hospital, looking for a way out... I needed air! I finally seen doors and had to fight my way past the herd of people I seen coming in through the doors, following an elderly man on a gurney. It felt good to finally be outside, I had been in the hospital for 3 days and hadnt seen the outside world. I had ate, slept and lived in the hospital with Kat. I seemed to spend my life waiting for her to wake up. I was relieved that the trees where still green and the sky was blue, I had been inside the white walls of the hospital far too long, I had started to worry that the entire world had lost colour. The only thing that held any kind of hope where her eyes. The colours where so intense that it actually hurt my eyes for a minute! I looked around and blinked a few times, eveything was so green! I t was like I had been locked in a colourless world for too long and had just been allowed to see the light. As I looked around I made a quick evaluation of my life... I was going to be a dad, and the love of my life was on deaths door. I sighed. I should of proably went back inside by then, I just couldnt bring my self to go back inside that colourless hell, so insted I walked around the corner and saw a park. Crossing the road I took my jacked off it the blaze of the sun and folded it over my arm. Pushing the gate open I walked over to the black metal bench and perched my self on the hot bars. I looked at a man, not much older than me pushing a baby girl on the swing and smiled wriley to myself... In a few months that would be me.

Just then my phone started ringing and caused the little girl to start crying, her dad (giving me a filthy look) picked her out of the swing and walked away, trying to soothe her. I looked away and remembered my phone. I looked at the background picture of the ultrasound and seen the notifacation. "1 missed call: Allie". I sighed and presumed it was Kat ringing off of Allies phone... I best start getting back. As I walked back to the hospital I rang Allie back. I smiled as I heard the voice I had known and loved for te past 14 years answer the phone. "Hello?" Allie whispered into the phone. I laughed under my breath and decided to play along "Hey, why are we whispering?" I laughed again and heard her join in.

"Kat's just left and I thought it would be best to talk now before she started looking for you. So... your marrying her?" Her voice wobbled and then broke half way through the sentence, causing my heart to shatter. "All, I'm sorry. Look, she's ill. I don't know if she told you but"

"She's got Lukemia, yeah, she told me.. and she's havingyour baby. I know why you proposed Tom, that doesn't make it hurt any less. The minute she told me I just wanted to cry, but I couldn't even do that... know why? She wants me to be maid-of-honour. At your wedding Tom!"

"Allie, baby, I know. But she asked me! She's hormonal and cancerous! What did you want me to do? Say no?" I demanded. Immediatly on the defensive.

"Yes! I mean... no." She sounded defeated. "You can't marry her though. Not just because of me either, you can't marry her if you don't love her. Don't you think youve messed her life up enough already?"

"Yeah, I know! But-and this is going to sound really mean- the odds are, she's going to die. The cancer has spread to most of her major organs. When she dies me and you can be together without anyone getting hurt."

"Are you kidding? Are you actually fucking kidding with me?! If your being serious then you are seriously messed up in the head! I am jelous of her for getting you but I swear to God that if she dies now I am never speaking to you again.Even if that did work" I could sense her getting worked up "Even if it did and I agreed to being with you, what about your baby?" Well, she had me there. I had no idea what I would do if Kat died and I suddenly had a baby to look after.

"Look All, I'm at the hospital now I'll be right up so we can talk about this properly... okay?"

"Kay" was all she said before the phone went dead. I truged the colourless corridors to her room and let myself through the door to where she was waiting for me. Her brown eyes the only warmth I had felt in this sea of white. As I looked at her I felt small again, I felt like the little boy with a lisp and a Mom who was blissfully unaware of what was going to happen to him. I seemed to shrink as she looked into my eyes. I walked over to her bed and sat down on the end. Her hard shell cracked and her chin started to wobble, tears strated flowing from her eyes. As she broke apart she fell into my arms, curling herself into him, concelingnher face into his shirt, she started sobbing hysterically. I felt her body rack with shudders and for the next hour or so I just let her cry herself out. When she eventually pulled herself up she looked at me and uttered one word.

"Please." I looked at her and slowly felt my reslove crumble. I anted Allie. I wanted her more than I have ever wanted anyone anyone before. I loved her. I t was as simple as that and I was ashamed that it had took me so long to realise that I wanted Allie, not Kat. I had used Kat to subsitute Allie. I pressed my lips to hers and felt the saltiness of her tears, I pulled my wet shirt off of me and pushed her onto the bed...