Perfectly Submissive

Panic

Darien didn't speak as we walked back to his home. After my failure he had turned and run from me into the woods. I stood there naked and in a stupor watching the place where he had entered and waited for him to return. He didn't do so until the moon had gone down and you could see the sun just above the trees. The other wolves turned back into their human selves and tiredly returned to their homes. Many of them stopped to look at me but they didn't move towards me to ask what I was doing there. I could see them out of the corners of my eyes but I didn't dare turn from the woods in case I might miss his return. Was he going to give me back to my father and demand for a reason of my inability to perform? 

I could feel him behind me. He silently handed me my clothes and took my hand; leading me down the road again. The silence overwhelmed me. The only thing I had ever been asked to do I had failed in. 

We arrived at the front door and he opened it for me ushering me in and pushing me towards the chairs in the living room. He sat down across from me and opened his mouth but shut it again. He, for some reason, looked sad. 

"I would like you to see the pack doctor," he finally spit out. 

"Of course. I will do what you ask of me." 

"Do you wish to know why?"

"If you wish me to know." His words continued to confuse me and his actions shocked me more than anything else but saying this would anger him. I was supposed to understand him as his mate. 

Darien sighed and placed his chin in his hands. 

"Last night you were unable to change into your true form. As an alpha this is unprecedented. I believe that in order for this to have happened something must have occurred in your life, either physical or mental, that has scarred you." 

xx Darien's POV xx

I said the words that had been going through my head from the moment I saw her standing at the edge of the woods with such horror on her face. This woman, my mate, was broken to the point of not knowing who she really was. I had left her there because the sorrow had overwhelmed me.  

It had been a mistake to leave her. I knew that but my control, especially in wolf form, was overwhelmed. I didn't know how to help her. I had waited so long for her and yet I was helpless. 

"I'm sorry to have disappointed you". She looked me in the eyes and apologized for the monstrosities of others and I wanted to scream. To hit something. To take her with me and hide her from all that wished to harm her. 

xx Ceridwen's POV xx

He believed something had scarred me. He believed me to be broken. All I could do was fail him again and again. I was worth only one thing and I couldn't even do that. It was a mistake to have kept me in this world just as Father had said. 

The pressure in my chest began to grow until it was hard to breath. I could feel my throat constrict and bind be to this spot. I plastered a smile on my face and held it in. I would not show him how weak I really was. The breath in my lungs was sucked away and I was in that hole again. That deep dark hole that I couldn't escape. My eyes went dark and the claws came out. I raked at my neck feeling the claws sink deep. 

The pain helped. It pulled me back and the darkness lifted. I was laying back on the bed, my hands pinned above my head, and Darien holding them yelling. The word didn't reach my ears but I could see his mouth move. 

"Is everything alright?" I said the words and Darien collapsed against me letting go of my hands. They were covered in blood. My fingernails were caked in wet sticky blood. 

"Ohh my god". Darien lifted himself off of my and I jumped up to see the bed covered in the same blood as my hands. 

"Im so sorry. Im so sorry. Im so sorry mate I'll get it cleaned up right away." I grabbed at the covers and began to pull them back when he gripped my hands again. I lowered my head and bared my neck in submission. I had ruined his things. I knew the punishment for that.