Wounded Hearts Will Conquer

Chapter 6 - Payback For Dents

Chapter 6
Evan
Payback For Dents

I smiled at all the men cheering for my Dad’s name politely, like a good person should. But, deep down I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs off of rooftops that this wasn’t right. He deserved to live a full life with his beloved wife, with his two sons, and to see them live a fulfilling life. Who could take someone’s life away when they’ve barely started living it; when they were a hero to so many people?

The only time my smile even reached my eyes was when I saw Aaron in the back, dressed in a dark green t-shirt and dark washed jeans, hooting with his hands around his mouth, “Yeah Greg!” He nodded his head with a smile on his face at only me, showing me his approval at my decision to stick out the concert for my family, for my Dad.

”Daddy’s definitely Superman right, Evan? Cause everyone loved Superman?” he asked me, looking up at me with those big blue eyes that I could sincerely never say no to, no matter the circumstances.

I smiled small at him. “Yeah buddy. Everyone loves Dad.”

He grinned in approval at me and grabbed onto my hand with his smaller one, clutching tightly. The pressure from the hand squeeze felt like the pressure going on in my chest. My heart clenched at the hoots of my Dad’s name, knowing he couldn’t physically be here to see that so many people loved him, just like I did. To see that everyone raised $5,000 for his foundation that Mom had put in his name. When a room full of men, some friends, some family, most even strangers who’ve only heard about him in random conversation, come together to create such a thing for one man, you know that you’ve touched many people’s lives in that moment.

Running my eyes over the crowd, they managed to land side-stage to the girl that I’d met on the rooftop just a mere few minutes before. She was looking directly at me with a mixture of confusion and deep thought plastered on her face. When she noticed me staring back at her, her big hazel eyes widened for a moment and then fell to the floor, her pale cheeks tinting into a shade of baby pink. I smiled a little, liking that she did that. I had no idea why I liked that, considering the only thing I really knew about her was that she had the same breakdowns that I had and that her name was Bailey.

When I tried to pressure her into more questions whilst we drank our beers together, it was like an immediate wall had gone up and she barricaded me out from anything too personal. I mean, I’m not one to talk because as soon as she mentioned me being a firefighter’s son, I went ramrod straight and threw that same wall of protection up from her as well. But hey, when your father dies I believe you’re allowed to have a little bit of emotional protection for your heart right?

God only knows what was wrong with this girl. She seemed as fucked up as I was, emotionally speaking. Just because we had the same breakdowns doesn’t mean I had to let this strange girl know anything pertaining to me. If I had been a little more drunk, I probably would have spilled everything willingly. Since this wasn’t the case, I wasn’t opening up to anyone other than Aaron.

I did have to admit, I was drawn to her a little. She seemed so…happy on the outside. But that panic attack that I knew all too well definitely wasn’t the picture of happiness. She had slightly bright red hair, with freckles on her cheeks. Her big hazel eyes looked like they held huge secrets and fears that only she would ever know. Her eyes were what had drawn me in the most. I wanted to figure those secrets out, know what those fears were. Call me crazy, but we all get a little nosy into other’s personal lives now and then, don’t we?

It’s not like I would ever see her again after this night. She was Phil Keys’ daughter for crying out loud. Bailey was probably touring the world with him, seeing new places, and new things. They probably lived a filthy rich life with their perfect happy family. At least she wasn’t missing her father. She had the perfect family, I didn’t. What in the world could she possibly be sad about?

”Thanks again, boys! Have a great rest of the night!” my mother yelled into the microphone. They held their beers in the air for a cheers and I faked a smile again at all the men. I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of here and forget about this damn night. I was trying to get rid of the emotionally draining sadness always looming in my mind. Who knows what this stupid night could bring back now. There were pictures arranged all over on tables, my Dad’s face practically plastered everywhere the firemen could manage to put them. It’s like he was just reminding me more and more that he’s only a mere picture anymore. He wasn’t coming back.

I followed my Mom off stage, grabbing my jacket off the hook on the brick wall of the theatre. Throwing the leathered piece on, I grabbed the keys before my Mom could and she looked up at me curiously.

”What are you doing?” she asked, her eyes studying me.

”Going for a drive,” I stated, playing with the collar of my jacket.

”I thought we were leaving as a family…” she said, going to grab the keys from my hand. They jingled a little; making a noise as I quickly pulled them back from her grasp.

”Evan Tyler, you give me the keys this instant,” she forced, making a move for the keys. I moved them away from her reach again, sighing.

”Mom, I’m not a child anymore. I just need to go for a drive for a few minutes. Clear my head…” I mumbled the last part, looking away from her. I hated talking about emotional bullshit with my Mom; she never said the right things.

”How are your brother and I supposed to get home, then?” she inquired, crossing her arms across her chest, giving me the pinching look she always did when I was a kid.

”I’ll be back in like twenty minutes. Isn’t Phil supposed to do an encore anyway?” I asked, referring to the cheers of an encore from the audience of firemen behind us.

”He is. But I wanted to get home early. It’s way past your brother’s bedtime.”

”Mom, he’s ten already. Plus, it’s a Friday night. Can’t you cut him and me a break for once,” I sighed, running my hands through my hair in frustration.

She sighed, mimicking my actions and uncrossed her arms, losing the pinched look on her face. “I suppose I could stay for another half hour or so. Have you’ve been drinking, Evan?” she asked, the firm tone returning in the question.

I froze. How the hell did she know? “Only like one beer, Mom. I’m fine, I swear.” I raised my fingers in a Scout’s honor position.

”Be careful, sweetie. I’m trusting you here. Be back in twenty minutes,” she said, holding my gaze.

”Yes, mother,” I sighed. Even though I was almost twenty one in a month, she still treated me like I was Gregory’s age.

She kissed my forehead and made her way back to the side-stage as Phil wondered back on with his acoustic guitar in hand. I took a last glance at Bailey, wondering what she was thinking again. I shook my head, and walked towards the nearest exit. Why do I need to be wondering about a girl I barely know?

****

I dented Mom’s car last night. Granted, it was while I was in the middle of having a panic attack from all of the thinking. I had accidentally left my cell phone near my mother’s purse and couldn’t call Aaron, so I just had to let the freak out happen. I tried pulling over to the side of the road, but some guy came out of nowhere without warning and next thing I knew his front bumper skimmed against my back. Her tail light is kind of cracked and the side of the bumper is a little pushed in, but it’s not like anyone had gotten hurt. We had exchanged insurance information and were on our merry way.

I even tried explaining to my Mom about the panic I was in, and she said she felt for me and understood but that I needed to pay for what I had done. She chose the worst thing she could possibly imagine for a twenty year old man like me. She couldn’t take away my television privileges or ground me for a month because she knew that would be too much for someone who was of legal age.

She made me go to the firehouse with her.

Of all the things, she knew this would hurt me the most. She said it wasn’t just the denting of her brand new car, but the fact that she had trusted that I only had one beer, when I really had like three. So it was because of the dent in her car and the lies I told her two nights ago that I’m now standing in front of the entrance to the Ladder 24 firehouse. I could practically feel my heart squeezing at the sight, my stomach tied in knots. I clenched my fists, bracing for another panic. I hated my mother so much right now, and I’ve never felt this way towards her before.

”I hate you so much right now,” I mumbled, mimicking my thoughts. She was beside me, holding little Greg’s hand. Greg was the complete opposite of me. He was dressed to impress with shades of red and yellow on just like the guys, and had spiked his hair to match my own natural tone. He was smiling big, his eyes wide with excitement. He was used to this, considering they made this a monthly visit. I, on the other hand, was nowhere near excited.

”You’ll be fine,” she sighed, clearly fed up with my behavior at this rate. She smiled down at little Greg and led him away by the hand through the entrance. I swallowed loudly and stuffed my hands in my pockets. I slowly followed behind them, and braced myself for an emotional wreck.

It smelled of men’s cologne and car wash soap. Some of the firemen were busy cleaning the big red truck in front of them, whistling to some music coming through a tiny radio off to the side. Others were upstairs, napping, playing card games with their fellow employees, anxiously waiting for a call to help. Little Greg went up to the firemen playing cards and high-fived them all. They had huge smiles plastered on their faces, considering no one could be near my little brother and not smile. They handed him a set of cards and let him join in.

My mother, who dressed nicely for the monthly occasion in a purple and white summer dress with her hair down, walked over to some of Dad’s old friends and smiled widely. They greeted her with open arms and began an instant conversation. I was sitting in the middle of the place, taking everything in with open eyes and ears. My mind had fell back to the day my Dad had bought home a similar looking vehicle and what he had told me when he handed it to me.

”Whenever you look at that, just know that I’m safe and I’m just protecting all of the people, okay?”

I sighed, closing my eyes, taking in the past tense movie playing in my head, remembering his voice to this day, after almost eleven years of him being gone.

”Evan!” my Mom called to me from her stance with the group of guys. I looked over at her and she gestured for me to come over. I sighed heavily, pulling at the ends of my hair as I weaved my hand through it. I walked over to her and stood uncomfortably.

”We’re really glad to see you, man,” one of Dad’s old friends said. He was slightly middle-aged, with his dark hair graying. He was muscular and had a firm grip to my hand as he shook it. The rest of them of them nodded or chorused in agreement.

”I haven’t seen you since you were almost like nine years old!” another man said to me. I smiled at them tightly, nodding my head.

”Sorry it took so long,” I said, keeping the conversation short.

”You should make this an every month thing, like your mother and brother do,” the dark hair man said. I couldn’t remember what his name was at all. “You guys know, once a family, always a family, no matter the circumstances.”

I nodded my head, holding his gaze on me. His words were heartfelt and sincere, but I couldn’t be all emotional in that moment. I needed to stay strong for my brother who was only ten feet away from me.

”Thanks man, I know,” I said.

Our heart to heart was interrupted by an immediate chorus of, “Phil!” throughout the station. I turned my head to where everyone was staring and saw Phil Keys in the flesh, sauntering into the station. He was wearing a light blue button up with light washed jeans, tucked into cowboy boots. He wore a huge smile on his face as he said hello to all the guys coming over to greet him. My gaze fell upon the red hair girl walking behind him though, my breath slightly caught in my throat.

She was smiling small, greeting all of the guys who said hello to her after hugging her Dad. She was wearing dark washed skinny jeans, tucked into little boots, with a baby pink off the shoulder shirt on. I watched as she shifted her hair behind her ear, keeping her gaze on the floor, looking almost as uncomfortable as I was.

”Phil Keys is always down here,” one of the guys in our group laughed.

”Really?” my mother asked, sounding so curious.

”Yeah, his father was the old chief and he used to be here all the time as a kid. I just barely met him myself the other night at the show. He’s real friendly, that guy.”

”I left my phone in the car, Mom. I’ll be right back,” I exclaimed, squeezing her on the shoulder before I made a trek towards the door. I walked past Bailey and outside, leaning against the wall. I breathed a sigh of relief as I ran my hands through my hair, happy to be away from all of the people inside.

I looked up at the clouds, taking everything in. I was at my Dad’s second home, with all of his friends bombarding me with grief for not being there since he died. How can they blame me? This place just screamed Dad for God’s sakes.

I heard the sound of the glass door closing and looked over my shoulder.

”Sorry,” she mumbled. She made a quick glance towards the door and went to walk back inside.

”Why do we keep meeting up like this?” I laughed slightly, looking over at her.

She smiled a little at my laughter and turned back around to lean against the wall with me. She stayed a few ways away, knowing we weren’t quite friends.

”I hate when everyone bombards me with questions all the time. Especially about my sister,” she rambled, looking past me as she spoke.

”Ah, so you do have a sister, then?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Her cheeks turned that shade of baby pink again, matching her shirt. She glanced down at the ground before I could read how she felt. A few moments of silence fell through the air as she stared at the ground and I looked up at the sky. I still wondered what she was all about, and why she couldn’t even speak to me about her sister.

”Why don’t you like to talk about your-“ I went to ask, but she cut me off.

”So why are we meeting like this again?” she looked up at me with those big hazel eyes again, studying me.

”I hate getting questions from them too,” I said, staring back at her.

”Why’d you come then?” she asked. Her one thumb was looped through the belt loop of her jeans as she leaned against the brick siding of the station. I could sense the small bit of country girl in her from that action.

”Why’d you come?” I inquired back, looking over at her. She looked up at me and smiled gently.

”I asked you first.”

”My Mom dragged me here,” I huffed, running a hand through my hair. I still needed to pay her back for the car. Even though I felt like this was enough pay back as it was.

”Same with my Dad,” she sighed. She went to move a piece of hair behind her ear again and her tattoo that I had noticed two nights ago came back into view.

”You still never told me what that tattoo meant…” I said, gauging her reaction.

She froze slightly, just like she had that night. I could practically see the emotional wall going back up, ending our light conversation.

”I don’t have to tell you what it means at all,” she said roughly, giving me a glare before throwing her hair behind her shoulder as she turned away from me and walked towards the door. I watched as she walked through the door and let it slam shut behind her, leaving me at the wall by myself again.

What the hell was that all about? If you didn’t want others asking you about your tattoo, then don’t get it plastered boldly onto your wrist where everyone can view it. Others will obviously ask you about it if it comes up in conversation. I ask a question and I’m suddenly the bad guy.

Maybe it’s best that I don’t get to know this girl then.