Wounded Hearts Will Conquer

Chapter 14 - Coming Full Circle

Chapter 14
Bailey
Coming Full Circle

A/N - I know this is supposed to be in Evan's POV from the cycle of the story, but I found myself really stuck when it came to writing the next part in his POV. He should be back next chapter, hopefully! As always, I appreciate the votes, reads, etc., so thank you! (:

I slowed my steps as I made my way up the all too familiar stairs leading up to the big red door. This was the place that I almost called my second home. This was somewhere I could run whenever I ever needed to escape. That big red door held so many memories behind it that I suddenly found myself wondering why I ever decided to leave it behind.

I firmly planted my feet against the top step and knocked lightly four times before stepping back a bit. I felt butterflies graze the ends of my stomach as I waited for her to answer the door. I was nervous beyond belief because I hadn’t seen Annabelle in almost three years. I’d practically shut the girl out of my life for good when Lanie died, that I thought she would never want to see me again.

Standing on the familiar concrete, cobblestone steps brought me back to the last time I had knocked on that door, just two years ago. It was about a week before Lanie had passed away and I was in need of some box that she told me Annabelle was holding for her. Lanie wanted to check out the contents and such before she died, because she wanted to remember all of the happiest memories from her life.

When Annabelle answered the door, she was all smiles when she saw me, but in her eyes I could see the sadness held beneath them. She was hurting almost as much as I was because of what was happening to her best friends. She was losing Lanie, and she had to watch me go through so much pain myself. As I was feeling pain for losing my oldest and only sister, she was feeling twice the agony, because she felt the pain her best friends felt.

She led me upstairs to her bedroom where she stood on her tip toes and retrieved a pink rectangular box from the top shelf of her closet. As she blew some of the dust off of the top of the lid, I eyed it suspiciously. I had never seen this box in my life, and I was wondering why no one had told me about it before. It was light pink and small, with stickers plastered over all of the edges. A Polaroid of Lanie and Annabelle was pasted on one side, another of Maisey, Anna, Lanie and Lily on the other. Then, at the top of the lid, was a picture of Lanie and me from her eighteenth birthday party. We were all smiles and goofily grinning at the camera.

Lanie’s hair was wildly disheveled and mine was matching, with a few strands in my face. That was the first night Lanie met her husband, and the first night I had ever hooked up with a boy. You could say it was a win, win for the both of us. I ran my fingers lightly over the image when Anna handed me the box and let my mind wonder to that night. It wasn’t odd seeing Lanie so happy, even when she was lying in a hospital bed a few miles away. She was still smiling and fighting strong, even when she knew the inevitable was upon us sooner than we had ever expected. That was one of those days where I was wishing to have the brighter traits my sister acquired, and learn to be happy no matter what.

Annabelle placed her hand over mine and eyed me carefully.

”Now, you know you can’t open this on your way back to the hospital,” she grinned slyly.

I rolled my eyes in return and gave a small smile. That week was the worst for me and I hadn’t smiled much at all. It was hard when you knew what was going to happen to your sister and there was nothing you could do about it. “I know, I know, she told me. She said I couldn’t open it no matter what and if I did, she would send you to rip my head off.”

”Good,” she smiled. “Tell her there is a letter also from me and a few things from Lily and Maisey as well,” she said, lifting the lid open only a bit while she placed the said contents inside. It was three envelopes, each addressed to their best friend.

”Okay,” I whispered, feeling my heart swell at the love I knew my sister obtained from everyone.

”And tell her…” Anna sniffed, rubbing a hand under the nose. Her eyes were glossy and I knew the waterworks were coming soon. “Tell her that I love her and that I’m thankful for everything that she’s done for me.”

I merely nodded, not knowing what to say to that other than ‘okay.’ I didn’t want start crying myself, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop. I needed to get back to my sister as soon as possible, because I didn’t know how much time she had left. And, with no offense to Annabelle, I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her and not here, crying over the things I’ve been working so hard to hide.

I left Annabelle’s with a hug and tearful goodbye and made my back to the hospital to drop off the mysterious box. I wanted so badly to be in on the secret and know what was inside, but I didn’t want to lose the trust Lanie had in me. If I would never know, that was pretty much okay with me, as long as it made my sister happy.

And that was the last time I had seen Annabelle.

Because of this, I wasn’t too sure what I was in for when that door opened.

My eyes widened when she opened the door and I was met with those all too familiar blue eyes. Her bleach blonde hair was tied up in a neat ponytail and she was wearing a pink cami with some polka dot pajama shorts. Hers widened as well when she took me in. It’s been so long either of us could barely recognize each other.

”Bails,” she said, eyeing me carefully. She was shuffling her feet, something she always did when she was nervous, as she waited for me to say something.

”Annabelle,” I breathed, letting go of a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I guess I was sort of relieved that she didn’t pounce on me when she opened that door.

”It’s been way too long,” she sighed, opening the door further as she gestured for me to come inside. I nodded along silently in agreement before stepping through the familiar doorway.

Her house was much different then from what I remember. They had replaced there plush carpets with hard wooden, light colored flooring. The blue striped wallpaper covering the corridors were replaced by a cream colored paint that was missing of the crayon stains and scuffs from her younger brothers. I lightly ran my fingertips along the wall as I followed her into the kitchen.

She sat in a wooden chair in front of the old dining set and eyed me as I sat down.

”So, three years,” she continued, playing with her chipped peach colored nail polish. I nodded, not sure what to say first. I didn’t know if I should apologize quickly or just pretend that this was normal and talk about my day.

I went for the former. “I’m so sorry, Annie. After Lanie…” I mumbled off, not knowing where I wanted to go afterwards. It was hard to say the things out loud that had been replaying in my mind for years. I’ve had no one to talk to but myself for so long.

”I know,” she sighed, looking up at me. She looked like she was on the verge of tears as she took in my face. “I miss her too, you know,” she choked. She wiped rapidly under the millions of lashes.

”I know you do,” I choked. My own tears were running down my cheeks as we let go of the sadness the both of us had been waiting to share. “I just didn’t know how I was going to handle anyone…” I went on, using my jacket sleeve to wipe my eyes.

”You could have come to me!” she sobbed quietly, trying not to wake her parents up. “I know better than anyone how it feels! She was one of my best friends, and so were you!” she pointed a finger at me, before ducking her head.

”I’m sorry,” I breathed. “It’s all my fault. She was just such a huge part of my life that I didn’t think…” I sniffed and coughed before continuing. “I didn’t think I wanted to see anything that would remind me of her anymore. I didn’t want the pity looks!”

”Pity looks?” she sniffed, looking back up at me again. “You know I wouldn’t do that! I wanted to be there for my best friend. Do you know how it felt when I would call and you would shut me out? How it felt when your mom would shut the door in my face, saying you didn’t want to see anyone? I tried so hard, Bails!”

I nodded my head, knowing how much I had hurt my best friend. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t want to hurt Lily or Maisey either,” I sobbed. “I just needed some time. But I hate being alone anymore,” I went on.

”You’re not alone,” she sighed, wiping the final round of tears from her cheeks. “You always had me and the girls. You have your parents…” she continued.

I shook my head vigorously. “I never had them. When Lanie died…they stopped talking to me. It was like they didn’t want…didn’t want to…even look at me anymore.”

She got up from the table and wrapped me a tight hug as I cried on her shoulder. I hadn’t felt this comforted in ages, and I was regretting all the time I spent away from my friends and the people who I knew loved me. I scolded myself for waiting this long to make things right again.

After a while, the crying stopped and Annabelle returned to her seat across the table from mine. She waited until I was ready to finally speak and put her palm under her chin.

”Now that that’s out in the open, what made you finally call me?” she questioned.

I took in a deep breath; preparing myself to let all of the words I’d been waiting to say, flow out steadily. “I was tired of keeping so much inside. I was afraid to talk to anyone. I felt like no one knew how it really felt. Then I…then I found someone. I found someone to talk to about all of this. It seemed like he got it…” I trailed off.

”He?” she questioned, raising a thin eyebrow. I saw a small smirk appear on her face and shook my head.

”It’s almost what you think, but not really. At least I thought it was like what you think. I don’t know,” I paused, closing my eyes. So many thoughts and feelings were swimming around my mind and I didn’t quite know where to begin.

”What happened?” she asked. It amazed me how she was caring so much about what I was thinking and feeling after how badly I had treated her these past few years. I was expecting this night to go in a completely different direction, one that ended in bruises and yelling. I didn’t expect a sit down and her caring so much about me again.

”I don’t like talking about how I feel to anyone other than Lanie,” I sighed. “She was the only who seemed to get it. I was afraid to open up to anyone else. I was afraid that…that if I did they would be…taken away from me again.”

I averted her gaze, and played with the end of my jacket sleeves while I waited for her to say something. It wasn’t everything that I was feeling, but it surely was a start.

”Bails, not everyone you become close with is going to die,” she breathed. She reached across the table and placed her hand on mine. “Lanie had cancer, something not one of us saw coming. You couldn’t have prevented that. But just because you open up to someone doesn’t mean they’re going to leave you.”

I looked up at her and she smiled lightly. I smiled back, liking that I could finally open up to someone again. I needed to start letting go again, for my own good.

”Now tell me about this boy,” she grinned, taking her hand back and jumping impatiently in her chair. I smiled at her and decided to let her know everything.

”Well, his name’s Evan,” I went on. I continued to tell her everything. I told her how we met at my father’s concert and how we got locked up on the rooftop together. I clued her in on how gorgeous he was, just for fun, and then told her how much of a pull I felt towards to him. I even told her about Leslie.

”Well why isn’t that working out right now?” she questioned.

”He won’t open up to me at all. I thought that maybe after we kissed,” she cut me off with a squeal only a best friend could muster up and I almost jumped. I’d forgotten how she used to do that.

”Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just…nice to see you’ve gotten back out there again,” she grinned. “Go on.”

”Well I thought that maybe after we did all of that…that he was opening up more. I thought I could finally get him to trust me. But he doesn’t. We brought up his father earlier and he completely freaked out on me.”

”Bails, you have to realize that you were the same way though. I’m the first person you’ve completely opened up to since Lanie. He could be scared,” she said, shrugging.

”I know that. I just…don’t know if I could do this if he can’t trust me, you know?”

I wanted so badly for something to happen between Evan and me, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted a relationship with a guy who couldn’t trust me at all. The basis of relationships was trust, and without trust…what were you really left with?

”I understand, but maybe he just needs time, no? You needed time,” she gestured towards me.

”But how much time do I give? He wants to keep kissing me and acting all cute, but he won’t trust me. He won’t tell me anything,” I continued, forgetting to tell her that he was technically still with Leslie.

”He had to trust that Leslie girl you just told me about. I wonder why he’s not trusting you with things…” she trailed off.

”He’s also still with Leslie,” I mumbled.

Her blue eyes widened and she gaped at me. “Bailey seriously?!”

”I know! I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” I said, shaking my head.

”He’s blind if he can’t see what’s right in front of him,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “Well he sort of does, but he needs to get his act together. I think you need to talk to him. I mean seriously sit down and talk to him. Tell him everything you’re telling me. Tell him how you want him to trust you, and maybe even let him in a little more than you have. That’ll show him how you trust him. It may push him to want to be able to make whatever you guys have…work.”

I nodded my head in agreement, already running a plan of what I would say to him through my head. It would be hard, telling Evan things I’ve only talked to Annabelle about. But if I really wanted to make this work with Evan, I would need to do this.

And I would need to do this right.

”Thank you so much for talking to me and listening, Annabelle, seriously,” I quickly said.

She smiled small at me and shook her head. “It’s not a problem. I’m just glad to finally have my best friend back.”

”Again, I’m so sorry for doing that to you. You didn’t deserve that. I promise not to do that anymore. Now that…now that I know I can talk to someone other than Lanie…things will be different,” I smiled.

She got up from the table and I followed suit, as we wrapped each other in a hug. It was like a piece of my heart was being built back in, knowing I had my best friend back again. It felt like things could possibly become easier now that I had some sense of normality back in my life. I was going to make a change for the better this time.

”Now go talk to that man of yours, and let me know how it goes!” she squealed, pushing me towards the front door.

”I will,” I grinned, wrapping her in another hug. “Thanks again, Annie.”

Before I made my way back to my car, we agreed to slowly form our friendship back together again and made plans for a shopping date with Lily and Maisey later on. When things finally became settled in the other aspects of my life, she said to give her a call so we could set it up. She said she wanted things to finally come back in full circle again for me, so I could deal with one thing at a time and actually be completely happy again.

I pulled out of her driveway and made a right, making my way back to my house for the night. As I drove down the silent roads, I pulled out my phone and dialed Evan’s number. It went straight to voicemail so I assumed he was still on the phone with Leslie.

I forced the small amount of anger inside of me downwards as I took in a deep breath.

”Evan, it’s Bailey. When you get this, come to my house. We need to talk…and I mean really talk,” I said, before ending the call.

I didn’t know how this conversation was going to go, but I knew it needed to be done. I needed to finally fix all of the drama in my life and make things right. I wasn’t sure if Evan and I would ever see each other again after this conversation. I didn’t even know if he would want to see me after I said all that I had to say. He needed to know that I couldn’t continue anything if he wasn’t going to trust me, and I needed to let him know that I would try if he would too.

I was in for a long night.