Summer Than October

Awaiting Hell

Hearing the all to farmiliar sound of my daughters docter say "Mr. Ausgta, you need to try and get your mind off it" Yet I ignored him and watched my only joy slowly crash into a paler pile of hospital bills. It became too hard to get me to leave the hospital so my bothers would let me stay a week at a time and go home on the weekends, but it kills me. Seeing the only thing that made you have a reason to stay in  a shit hole like this town..slowly die, in your arms. 

It was late on a Sunday night while I was packing up some cards for her, that I got a call from the hospital, they said it was only a matter of months - 12 at the most - before I lost my world. I told them "No. She'll pull through" they said as you wish and hung up.

I wake up in the middle of the night, thinking I hear her crying, this happened before my mother died, I never thought it'd happen to her.

"October.." Kat hugged me before letting me get out of the car "You need to plan ahead" I shook my head turning away closing the door and making the same routine I had for a month now. I slowly walked nto her room, watching her still motionless body lay in the white hospital sheets. I sighed watching her for a few hours before going for lunch in the basement where I had met other families going through what I was, but I never bothered to talk to them as I can't bring myself to talk about Summer with anyone.

Reality is too beig for me. I would tell anyone who asked about Summer. I don't want to believe any of this, yet reality foces me to. I sat down beside Summer "Hey there Summy, hang in there for me alright? No, not for me, for yourself.. You need to see this world, you need to live. I can't imagine a day without you, you're more then what I thought I was going to have in my life." I held back every tear while slipping into the bed with her "Summer then October, never me then you, always you." I kissed her forehead "I love you, my dear" I felt a tear slip as I closed my eyes with her in my arms while soft Sleeping With Sirens played in the background. 

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IMPORTANT! 

Okay...Hi, so so so sorry I haven't updated in forever, but if I don't get more comments and votes and shit I'm not sure if I can keep Summer Then October, I'd have no reason to. Sure I love writing it, but I'm super busy so it's hard to maintain. Once again I'm sorry!|

No lets take a moment to look back on this chapter, it actually has a lot to do with me, October and myself are very similar when it comes to feelings. We shut people we love you, we pretend it's okay/not real until we can't anymore. I hope this chapter touched your mental state somw way, it means a lot.

~Kenz