faded ❦ ︱ Kurapika x Reader

Arc 35

So like I put off writing an essay to edit this chapter I hope you're all proud of me lmao—

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Your eyes trailed along his tall figure, watching as the dark cloth of his coat dragged behind him, the sound becoming louder and louder the more you watched. You could feel your heart pounding in your rib cage as he sat down on the edge of a cement block, resting his elbows on his knees. Every small movement he made, even if it was just the faintest sound of the back of his boots grazing against the cement—you could hear it. 

Your body almost betrayed you when his stone, cold irises found yours, your muscles tensing just being under his gaze. 

"You completed your mission," The question was more of a statement with his deep, low voice, making a chill run through your body, "(y/n)?" 

It took you a minute to nod, ".. If you mean infiltrate the Nostrade family, yes I did." You said, mentally hoping that it didn't come out as a squeak. But you couldn't help the hint of sarcasm in your voice since you were just trying to make the best of the situation. 

Instead of taking his eyes off of you, he did the exact opposite. You knew this was his way of saying 'watch your mouth.' 

After a few moments, he tore his gaze to the other members, "Everyone else did as asked." 

Shalnark nodded, taking his phone out. "Ready to execute whenever you are, boss. What's the plan?" 

"(Y/n) will be the mole during the auction. You report everything that happens," His voice was monotone, and he didn't have to say that if you screwed up you would definitely get something from him. 

You forced a nod, clenching your fists to keep holding ground. 

"When they least expect it, that's when we go in. After everything goes down, regroup and come back here. We'll go home."

Wait.. home?

"We do this two nights from now. When we get there, don't hesitate to kill to get the items."

The other members didn't seem fazed by his words. If anything you could feel the excitement rushing through their veins, the adrenaline pumping faster as they thought about the horrible methods they would use to get what they wanted. 

"We're going to wreak havoc that night."

They all nodded restlessly, like dogs seeing their owner after a long time. Their irises practically glowing in the dim moonlight, shining with anticipation. Smirks tugging at their lips, "Yes, boss."  

"You're dismissed." 

The other members started to disappear into the night, and so were you. 

"(Y/n)," 

"What?" You didn't bother to meet his gaze, keeping your eyes on the exit—your way to freedom for now.

"Once it starts, find me." 

"Why?" 

You could practically feel his gaze on your back, "Is there somewhere else you have to be?" 

A small sigh escaped your lips at the thought of being separated from the others. You couldn't leave them, not when you had already come so far. This was your only chance at making things right, to coming clean. The Troupe is your family, they've raised you your whole life—that was fact. But even family can't get in the way of what you have to do.

It's too early.

"Your place is here, (y/n)," Memories of the Troupe flashed before you as if you were remembering one last time what they have done for you. Even Chrollo, as much you hated it. "With the Troupe." 

Your lips started to quiver, your breath hitching in your chest as his heavy footsteps began to become louder by the second—closer and closer. You felt suffocated, gasping for nonexistent air. It was only around him that you felt terrified.

No, I can't stop here. I have to play along.

"Chrollo, brother, you don't need to worry—"  

"Who is it? Who gave you that lie to believe in?"

You could feel yourself crumbling under the pressure again, crumbling under him. You could even feel your heart start to break at the slightest, your mind screaming that you should have never believed in the first place—that you are a fool for thinking that you deserved freedom.

N-no.. not yet..

"I told you already, nobody." 

Pale fingertips brushed ever so slightly against the nape of your neck—the last straw to break the composure you've been trying to maintain the minute you set foot in this wretched place. You could handle the anxiety when he spoke, but you couldn't take it when he touched you. All his hands ever did was hurt people, beat you, and most importantly of all—kill.

He's the monster.

You scrambled forward to avoid his touch, the small hairs on your arms standing up as you jerked your body to face him. Your eyes were wide with fear, in them the reflection of the thing you hated and terrified of the most. 

"You're supposed to be the most ruthless," He kept his eyes on your small figure, "You can't do that if you care for other people." 

The tears started to form, your eyes becoming glassy—seeming fragile as you thought about what he's done for the past twelve years of your life. "Stop it! Think about me for once. You call yourself my brother? You're no brother—you're a monster!" You screamed, clenching your fists so hard that your knuckles turned white. Normally, you would be afraid of what he would do to you if you spoke like this, but right now nothing mattered anymore.

"Ever since mom and dad died, you haven't been the same. You scare me, Chrollo. Does that not mean anything to you?"

He returned the glare you gave him, but the way he looked at you was different this time.
"You call making you into who you are now being a bad brother? I made you, (y/n). So you could survive. It's either you kill or get killed in this world," For the briefest second you saw a glint in his eyes that you couldn't understand. 

"You know that there's nothing scarier than me, you know that I am the only person that you cannot kill,"

No more. You couldn't take it anymore. No matter how much you wanted him to change, he wouldn't. You didn't want to think of the consequences, and you couldn't care less. All you wanted to do was disappear into the city, and live freely even if it was just one more night. It was your last chance. With the balls of your feet, you disappeared into thin air, ignoring whatever warning he was about to drill into your mind. 

"That way you won't care about me," Chrollo whispered, the thickness of his voice for once fading as he continued to stare at the space where you stood one second earlier, "And that way, I can protect you."