Part 8:
Kylie's Pov:
Dakota seriously got me worried then.
I thought she wouldn't try to hurt me; I mean Matt's my brother I never had and I actually love him. I thought Dakota was like my sister aswell.
I can't believe this right now, I can't cope with anything right now.
I can't cope right now.
I can't cope.
I can't...
No.
Don't do it.
Stop.
But...
I can't.
I dragged myself over to the bathroom of mine and Carter's hotel room, my tear stained cheeks feeling ice cold.
I have to get a new room before Carter gets back.
I took a deep breath and froze.
What was I doing?
I was doing the only thing that could help me.
I took a blade off the shelf above the sink and stood with it in my hand.
I stood in the middle of the bathroom and slowly slid the metal blade across my wrist, and cut my skin.
I winced at the pain, and I could see blood starting to ooze from the slit in my wrist.
I did another one parallel to the first one and started to go dizzy and didn't know what to do.
I looked at my wrists and burst out crying.
What had I done?
I had done the only thing that could help me.
It's not the first time I have done this; I have scars all up my arm.
Matt's seen them, Carter hasn't.
But he couldn't know.
I know that sounds really bad, but I didn't want him to know, I figured that if he knew about my self harm he would leave me.
My wrist throbbed as I grabbed a towel to wrap around my wrist.
I was soaked in tears and I didn't want Matt to know I've done this again.
He always asks why I cut, and his eyes start to tear up, I just say "I had to" or "I'm sorry" and then hug him while we both cry. He doesn't understand fully why I do it. I do it because it takes the pain away from the rest of my life. It's like I get distracted by the pain of my cuts and it takes away the pain from life.
I don't want to come off like a bitch, and like I never liked Carter, I loved him, I still do, but he's hurt me enough already.
When we first started Magcon together we were at the best point in our relationship ever. I couldn't have wished for a better time, he said he loved me constantly and that he would never leave me. We would cuddle up and watch Netflix together all night. We would be together all the time... he said we were forever.
I couldn't cope with that thought.
Me and Carter were meant to be together forever.
We were.
We were.
I got myself in a state and sitting on the bathroom floor crying all night wouldn't help, so I grabbed my phone and texted Arya, she was the only person I could talk to. I didn't want Matt to flip out because of Carter, I thought Arya would handle it best, she knows how I feel; she's experienced it before. But not from Matt. Matt was perfect for her. That was a different story.
To: Aryaah<3
K: Arya please call me as soon as you get this, I need to talk to someone quickly, help me please 😭
A: OMG what's up??! Please answer my calls 😭
My ringtone went off really loudly;
I know,
You're tired,
Of loving,
Of loving,
With nobody to love,
Nobody,
Nobody.
Just grab,
Somebody,
No leaving this party,
With nobody to love,
Nobody,
Nobody.
I answered my phone finally, I didn't want to answer it straight away because I love the song so much.
"Kylie what's up?? I'm so worried about you! Matt told me what happened and I swear to god I'm gonna kill Carter, the guy seriously doesn't know what is coming for him, like for real." she said angrily.
"Look don't be mad at him," I whispered.
"How!? The guy freaking cheated on my freaking best friend!!!" She shouted.
"Yeah I know, but I literally just don't get what I should do!" I sobbed.
"Calm down, I'll sort him out, I hate seeing you like this, it hurts me too Kyles," she said. "Sorry but I gotta go, Matt's calling me and I'm really tired, bye ily."
"K byee."
She hung up, now I was alone. Matt was with Arya, I can't even think of how I would talk to Carter, and Da-bitch-kota is dead to me. Great. There's only one person left that would listen...
