10:16 pm // Her Again

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It's kind of unsettling,
After months and months,
I fall asleep with a different person in my mind,
But awake with your face fresh in my thoughts,
And your the only thing I remember from my dreams.

Some souls,
Stick with us everywhere,
I'll never be able to peel you off of me,
As much as I'd like to say I can.
As much as I'd like to try.

You're not my soulmate,
I don't think.
You're my first love,
Which is always the worst.

Nothing will ever compare to you,
In the way I felt standing by you,
In the way I looked at you,
You were the only thing I needed,
Only thing I'd ever wanted so desperately,
And everyone knew.

Everyone except you,
And that's why the shock on your face,
Seemed so unapologetic to me,
When the words slipped out of my mouth.

And I'll forever regret them.
The difference of what would have happened doesn't matter anymore,
But I'll forgive.

I think what's more unsettling,
Is that I can barley remember the things you said,
I can barley remember your odd quirks,
But the sound of your voice is vivid in my head,
And I'm still so deeply in love with you.

You still don't know just how deep it is,
You never will,
Because I'm afraid that your apology to me,
Is the last words you'll ever say to me.

But I'd come to an acceptance of this before,
I just wished,
I'd never spoke all those months ago,
Just wish my words had stayed in my head where they belong.

And I'll regret those words,
Until the day I die.

I just know I will.

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