The rain pounds against the window,
It's relentless,
Tapping on the glass like the tapping of nails on wood,
And I can feel my eyes are glazed over,
Smoke rising to the ceiling,
Slowly it rises as another pair of glassy eyes float to me,
The cigarette feels warm in my hand,
Unlike the warmth your skin,
Which seems to now burn to the touch,
And then turn cold as I lay my hands upon it,
I can feel myself sinking away,
And the taste of you,
Was like the taste of the ocean,
Now only tastes like salt and sand,
I will drown,
As I lay on this bed,
Drown slowly in your words,
And inside of my head,
The lamp is shattered across the floor,
The light is drifting solely through your window casting a moonlit glow across the room,
The comfort is unfamiliar,
Unfortunate,
Because these bruises across your knuckles are the same familiar color,
As the deep blue shade,
From the night sky,
And the lamp shade is ripped up laying on the bedside table,
As it resembles the off pink color,
That distinctly reminds me of your lips,
But your lips are busy,
Being wrapped around your cigarette,
If I moved away from you now,
I'm scared you'd disappear,
For all these years I've been sitting here,
And I wait,
And then it occurs to me that I am not enough for you,
And I never will be,
And despite the hurt that overwhelms me,
I know it's true,
But I can't swallow down the anger that fuels me,
Why will I never be what you wanted,
I've been waiting on you for two fucking years,
But you'd rather fill yourself with smoke,
And the taste of cheap, three to four day girls,
Then take the chance of allowing me to show you a whole new universe,
A whole new flavor,
But I won't let it control me,
Will I?
The smoke drifted slowly from the ash trey where your put out cigarette lays silently,
You roll over.
I can feel the tear roll down my cheek as I finally release from my thoughts.
I will,
Won't I.
