Bear Heart (Book 2)

Chapter 21

21. Proving Him Wrong

When I woke up in the morning, I was still on the keyboard. Quickly picking my head up, I looked at the clock. It was already eight in the morning. How could I sleep for so long? Almost twelve hours. Confused, I took notice of a blanket over my shoulders. How did this get here? Then I realized, Ben must have come in and saw me asleep.

My mind went right to thinking about yesterday, everything that happened at the fair and everything that happened here at home. There seemed to be no rest for me. Even if I went to sleep, I would only wake up to be plagued by thoughts again. I took in a deep breath, feeling like I got no sleep. I didn’t shower last night liked I planned, so I got up, grabbed some clothes from my dresser, and headed to the bathroom.

As I let the hot water run over me, I couldn’t help but think of Kenai. I’ve been consumed by trying to get his memories back. I haven’t even visited the sapling because I’ve been so occupied by it. Now that I’ve thrown everything in his face, how will he react? What should I do the next time I see him? How do I confront him? Do I just act like nothing happened, or should I wait for him to bring it up? What did he think of me now?

Why was he with Kate?

It seemed so off topic for my brain right now, since all that came to mind when I thought of him was his reaction to my words. How was it that Kate was suddenly brought into the picture? They were a couple now. I had been trying so hard not to think of my romantic feelings for him, but now, I just felt saddened. He was with her now. They had kissed. He didn’t want to be with me. He liked her. I never had a chance. Even though I knew I was jealous, and upset, I wasn’t angry with Kate at all. I think it’s because I don’t expect her to know my feelings. I mean, I hardly knew myself, so how could she? I’m sure if she knew how things were, everything would be different. It’s not her fault. She had it bad for him, I knew that. It can’t be helped.

“Stop it, stop it,” I muttered to myself, rubbing my face roughly with the hot water that poured from the showerhead. I shouldn’t let myself think that right now. My feelings weren’t important. They never should have been. What’s important now is how things will play out now that I’ve told Kenai the truth. Why did I blow up? Why did I get so angry? Why didn’t I control myself? Why did I tell him? Why?

I turned off the water, stepping out and changing into the clothes I had brought with me into the bathroom. It was still slightly hot in July, so I wore some jean capris and a pain white long-sleeved shirt. When I arrived downstairs, hair still dripping wet, I saw Ben making breakfast. “Morning,” I told him. He looked up with a smile. “Good morning, kiddo. You knocked out early last night.” I gave him a shrug as I made my way to the table, rubbing my head with a towel that I had over my shoulders. “Long day,” was all I said.

Ben set a plate of pancakes before me, taking a sip of the coffee in his hand. “Can I have some, too, please?” I asked him. He nodded, grabbing a mug from the cupboard and pouring some in. I liked it when Ben made breakfast. He didn’t work on Sundays, so it was one of the only times that we got to eat breakfast together. Usually, he’d only make me breakfast before he’d leave for work. It was something that parents do, and it made me feel like he was really trying.

“Sonia called last night,” Ben says, “I told her you were asleep, so she told me to tell you to call her in the morning.” I nodded. I suddenly remembered that I hadn’t told him about the trial. “Hey, Dad… I’m going to need to buy a plane ticket for tomorrow, okay?” He turned around from the coffee maker, surprised. “A plane ticket? For tomorrow? Why?”

“NYPD called again last night when I got inside. They said that the trial is starting on Wednesday, so I want to get there a little early. I called an old friend, she said I could stay at her place while I’m there.” He paused, a little confused, before finally giving a nod. “I’ll give you my card, you can book the flight online.” We didn’t say anything as he handed me my mug of coffee, setting his breakfast on the table. “You really aren’t coming?” I asked him in a murmur. He didn’t answer, swirling his coffee in his mug. “No, Clair,” he said at last, his voice a whisper.