Bear Heart (Book 2)

Chapter 19

Hey everyone! Wow, it's been a while since I put an author's note. Just wanted to ask you guys if you could please drop a few comments on your reactions to the story so far. I really appreciate the votes, but I would love to know what's going on in your heads as your reading! I guess I get worried that I'm starting to bore you guys! Thanks for reading and for the votes, I hope you like this chapter!   -Jocelyn

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19. Don’t You Remember?

I felt like I was on the brink of tears, like if they could start falling apart at any given moment. I felt so unstable, so fragile, that even the slightest bump or noise could cause them to fall. Of course I was upset. Who wouldn’t be? However, the fact that I felt like bursting into tears was something that surprised me. After all, I had only just discovered my feelings for Kenai. I knew that Kate had feelings for him long before I discovered my own. I knew that they would spend a lot of time with each other, so it was only natural that they would develop feelings for each other as well. I knew this already. I was supposed to be mentally prepared for this.

So, why did I feel so broken?

There must be another reason. Another reason why I’m so emotional, so infuriated. I don’t think that the fact that my feelings for Kenai had blown up in my face was the only reason why I felt on the brink of hysteria. I felt beyond frustrated. This was irrational, and I knew it. After all, I had only known this boy for a few months. I shouldn’t be so devastated like I am. Why did I feel the way I did? As if I would start sobbing right this second? Why?

Taking out my little Razor phone, I called Ben. It took a few rings before he would pick up. “Clair?” I heard him say, the almost infinite ringing coming to an end. “Ben? Do you think you could come pick me up?” My voice was shaky. It really did sound like I wanted to cry. “Clair, are you okay? Where are you? What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine, I just had a bad day. I’m here in Palmer. Do you know where the fair grounds are at? I’m at the corner of the street.”

“Yeah, I do. Listen, I’m alone at the store right now, Dave left for an errand a little while ago. I can’t close up the shop, so I’ll get you when he comes back, which should be any minute now. Give me about twenty minutes or so, alright?”

“That’s fine. I’ll be here waiting.”

With that, he hung up. I closed the phone, shoving it in my pocket as I looked around for a place to sit. “Clair!” Someone shouted. “Clair! Hey!” I recognized the voice. It was Kenai.

Those tears that had been threatening to fall finally did at the sound of his voice. I didn’t turn around. I tried to ignore him, starting to turn the corner of the street to try and get away. I couldn’t let him see me. I couldn’t face him. I didn’t want anything to do with him right now.

There was a flurry of footsteps. He was starting to jog. “Clair!” He called again, catching up to me. I still didn’t answer or even turn to look. “Hey!” He calls, grabbing a hold of my arm. He didn’t grab my hand this time, like he usually would have. “What?!” I snapped, yanking it away. I didn’t mean to come off as harsh. I didn’t want to be cruel to him that way. However, something in me didn’t want to stop me from being cold to him.

“What happened? Why’d you leave? As soon as we got off the ride, you just left! Everyone’s searching the fair for you!”

I partially turned my body towards him, unable to look him in the eye. He took a small gasp. “You’re crying? Why? What’s wrong?” He started to stretch out a hand towards me, concerned, but I took a step back. After seeing that I didn’t want him to touch me, he dropped his hand. His expression was nothing but confusion.