The phone was ringing. I didn’t recognize the number but the area code was the same so I picked it up. “Hello?”
“Is this Elissa Masson?”
“Yes..who is this?”
“This is Dr. Wargo , Antanie’s therapist. I don’t think we’ve met before but I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m calling today to inform you of some very unfortunate news. Antanie passed away last night, on May 22nd, at around 10:40 p.m. I’m so sorry I have to tell you this, but it was upon the request of his mother, Rachael.”
My throat tightened. I didn’t say anything as I tried to process what I had just heard. I knew all along that this would eventually come, but it never felt real. Not like this.
“Elissa!” My mom was calling me from downstairs. I stood up, wiping the tears that had been trickling down my face. I left my room, heading downstairs. My mom was at the door with Tyra.
I smiled weakly. “Hey Tyra. Come on in.”
Tyra stepped in and followed me back to my room.
“How’s your summer been so far?” She asked.
“Okay I guess.” Better if Ant was here with me.
She reached into her purse, pulling an envelope out. Handing it to me, she said, “This is for you. Ant gave it to me around the beginning of May. I wanted to wait until things had settled down to give it to you.”
I took the envelope and opened it, pulling out a letter.
Elissa-
I just want you to know how much you mean to me. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you from the beginning, I’ve been struggling with how to tell you since we met.
I’ve had feelings for you since the very first day of high school. I was late to our PE class that day. When I came in, as I was going to the back of the classroom, I made eye contact with the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. I spent the entire year trying to convince myself that I should talk to you. I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me, we had nothing in common and you never really seemed to notice me in class.
I’ve never been good at the whole love thing. I’m not that great at flirting, I was sure that you would reject me if I tried. I guess that’s why I was a jerk. I was trying to get your attention but I didn’t want you to assume that I had feelings for you because you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I mean, at the beginning you still didn’t. You hated me, but that changed.
I should’ve said something earlier. We didn’t have enough time together before I had to go. Then again, no amount of time would be enough time. But it is the way it is, I guess.
Did you love me? Or do you love me now? The one thing I worry about is you feeling guilty about being with another guy because of me. You still have a life, keep on living it. Love him like you would love me.
I’ve honestly never believed in God, or heaven, or an afterlife, but we don’t know, do we? I’ll find my way to you somehow, if I can.
I love you.
Antanie Copeland
YOU ARE READING
Confessions
Teen Fiction“Damn Prom Queen. You stay followin’ the rules.” He laughed. I didn't see what was so funny. “Yeah, well rules are meant to be followed.” Antanie shook his head. “Rules are meant to be broken.”
