Wish You Were Here - Part 2

Chapter 21

HARRY'S POV

DECEMBER

"YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE, HARRY!" I hear Bec yell behind me as I storm past her, not caring if she has to physically throw me out of her apartment.

I need to see her.

I glance quickly around the living room, my eyes are stinging from crying for what feels like a lifetime, I feel weak and I know my body needs food but the thought of eating makes me want to gag.

I've been in bed since I got home six days ago and although Tyler had already warned me she had moved out, walking back into the house to find Olivia's things gone felt like someone shot me in the chest. My knees buckled, bringing my body down onto the carpet in the bedroom where I stayed all day and all night.

She left me. She promised to never leave me.

When I don't see her in Bec's living room I head straight for the spare bedroom and barge into the room, not able to fling the door open fast enough.

What I find knocks the wind right out of me. I don't know what I was expecting, maybe to find Liv in the same state she was in when I picked her up off the floor when Dan had cheated on her, but she didn't look like that.

She was sitting up in the messy bed, her hair slicked back in a neat pony tail like she often wears to work.

Had she been going to work? Her eyes weren't red and puffy like mine, they were wide and dazed. Her expression wasn't one of distress or devastation, it was blank, empty, desolate and she looked at me like I was a stranger.

"Liv," was all I could spit out, hoping to see a glimpse of the woman I love, a flicker in her eye that I recognise but there was nothing. I had planned to come and explain everything to her in person so she couldn't hang up and had to hear me out but now I'm in front of her, I'm frozen by the stranger staring back at me.

Bec was screaming at me to get out but I was paralysed, watching her watch me like she was in a dream, like I was an illusion.

I held my breath as she slowly stood up from the bed and tilted her head ever so slightly to the side, blinking twice before walking past us and into the bathroom across the hall and I whimpered when I heard the lock click into place.

Bec looked on, maybe in sympathy, as I sunk onto the floor in front of the door and wept. I heard her back away slowly, knowing I couldn't technically touch her sister and left me to wallow in my own misery.

I am terrified to fall asleep and I had been doing anything and everything to avoid the flood of memories that filled my dreams. I don't want us to be a memory and the more I sleep the further away the reality of what was, slips away.

The nightmares I have make it easy to stay awake for days at a time. I dream of her moving on, her beautiful smile directed at another man who makes her happier than I ever did. Images of her holding his hand, kissing his lips, his fingertips touching her skin, her face as he makes her come haunt my mind and I will do anything in my power to never see them again, even if that means dying of sleep deprivation.

I must have fallen asleep on the floor of Bec's hallway because when I open my eyes the bathroom is empty and Olivia is no where to be found.

A note from Bec on the table confirms they have both gone to work.

How was she going to work when I can barely stand? How are her eyes not bloodshot from crying? How could she look straight through me last night like I was no one to her?

Maybe she doesn't care? Maybe she never loved me as much as I love her? Maybe the whole thing was in my mind, my judgement clouded by my all consuming feelings for her? Maybe none of it was real?

I take in a deep breath as I walk through the front door of my house, our house, and I close my eyes praying I'll hear her voice down the hallway, her music playing through the speakers, her footsteps running towards me before she jumps into my arms.

The silence is deafening and I have the fleeting idea of burning the whole building down to the ground to escape the memories I thought were my forever.

I spend another week trapping myself in the comfort of my sheets, Xander and Will desperately trying to get me out of bed or to eat something but when the best thing in your life has been ripped from you there doesn't seem like much point in getting up and facing another day.

Tyler had called briefly to confirm the restraining order against Adriana had gone through and hope flickered through my half beating heart that maybe this would show Olivia that I never wanted anything to do with her.

My lawyers explained Adriana had no intention of speaking against John in court and the whole thing was likely to be setup by the pair to look like there was a conflict of interest and to discredit my lawsuit against them.

I got up for the first time in nearly a week and called Tyler.

"The photographer must have photos of me pushing her off me?" I rush down the phone to my assistant who has been doing anything he can think of to prove to Olivia that I didn't do this.

"I've already checked, Harry. I found him from my friend at The Empire Magazine, they are running the photos and a story on it this week."

I cringe at the thought of the pictures being even more distributed than they already are. What would my mum think, or Olivia's parents? The fucking photo is so perfectly staged there is no reason to question its legitimacy.

"He said he was under instruction to delete anything after the kiss." Tyler continues, "They must have paid him a lot." He tells me and my heart sinks.

"Fucking aresholes!" I scream into my depressingly empty house, throwing my phone against the wall and relishing in the short lived satisfaction of hearing it shattering into pieces.

I go back to bed, trying to stay awake for as long as possible to escape the nightmares that are waiting for me.

The doorbell wakes me from my restless sleep at the crack of dawn and I run to open it, hoping with every cell in my body that I see Olivia's face when I pull the door back.

Tyler looks at me like a sad, lost child and invites himself in before shoving a box into my hands.

"I got you a new phone because I'm guessing the loud crack before you hung up on me yesterday was you throwing it again the wall." He states and I shrug. I'm just about to tell him to leave me alone when he sits down on the couch.

"I have an idea." He says, his grin wide across his face and for the first time in weeks I am hopeful.

"You said there were fans around, right?" He asks and I nod, wondering where this is going.

"Let's ask if anyone has any footage of the kiss in reward for something, front row tickets, dinner with you, anything!" He exclaims and it's not a half bad idea.

"At this point, Tyler, I'd fucking marry them if someone has footage."

"Well, that might defeat the purpose of getting Liv back." He says and I flinch, the sound of her name cutting through me like a machete.

"There's no harm in asking," he continues a little more gently, realising how fragile I am. "Let me draft something up and we can put it out on your social media platforms tomorrow."

He jumps up and smiles sympathetically at me before leaving.

The hour or two sleep I had is enough to last me another day or so and without thinking I call my driver and instruct him to head to Bec's house. I want to tell Liv about the plan, maybe she will see how hard I'm trying to prove my innocence and believe me. Believe in me.

When I get to the apartment block I freeze, my hand on the door handle but I can't get out of the car.

Olivia is standing with a guy, a good looking guy, and they are holding hands, she throws her head back in laughter and I nearly throw up when she does it for a second time.

She is fine. This isn't slowly destroying her life and her soul like it is mine. She's jogging around London with another man, happy, carefree and laughing.

Anger and jealousy surge through my veins and heats my face. She doesn't love me, maybe she never did? Was it all bullshit?

Fuck her!