Sincerely Zanobia [Book 1]

Chapter 14

Zanobia

"Just because we're brothers doesn't mean a thing.. we've never been close. Surge has his way of being grimey, he's honestly not who you think he is. He makes me out to be the bad guy and sometimes I can be an ass but that's just how it is. Even when he does shit to make me wanna cut him off I always think.. he's my blood, my brother. But a brother wouldn't do half the shit he's done to me and other people"

"What has he done?"

I was curious because I remember Mama telling me, everyone isn't who they seem. Could she have been talking about Zaire?

"Just know he's only looking out for himself, there's a reason behind everything he does and it's not always to help"

"So.. you think, he let me stay with him for his own benefit. I don't have anything to offer him, what could he have possibly wanted from me?"

"Your a female.. you have something he wants, but who am I to make assumptions. You may have really changed him, talk to him and let him tell you"

"He probably doesn't wanna talk to me.."

"He does.. that's all he does, is mope around our moms house now. He might not be fond of me but he's still my older brother and I love him. I just wish he'd get his shit together and realize, blood is thicker than water. Ain't nobody gonna have his best interest like I do. But he turns his back on me.. soon I'm gonna say fuck him and do me"

He handed Eliza back to me and kissed my forehead. "Don't hesitate to call me, if you need something.. what's mine is yours, we're family"

He got up to leave, I watched him grab his keys off the coffee table. Before he left out he stopped. "Oh and ask Surge, who he thinks stopped those dudes from putting a bullet in his ass"

He shook his head and walked out, shutting the door behind him. I sat there feeling overwhelmed.. do I really miss Surge?

I got up from the couch noticing that it was going on two-am, I made my way into my room and laid Eliza down. I sat at the foot of the bed and wrote..

Dear Daddy,

Life has been very interesting... I'm on to my third new home, not really surprising. I like it here though, mama April is extremely nice.. but enough of that, I feel like your closer than I think.. but where? I've been staying inside a lot, I don't feel the urge to go out and explore like I use to. I don't even know what else to say to you through this letter.. I feel like it's getting old, continuously writing you. You can't see these so why do I continue?

                         Sincerely Zanobia

I shut my book and placed it in my box, the same box that held over twenty notebooks. All filled with letters to my father... but one was missing and I panicked. Where was my blue book? I had a color for each year, blue is one I finished last week. It had things in it about Surge, Kidd and my dad of course.

I quickly looked through my bag, under the bed and it wasn't there.. that book has stuff in it, that I don't want anyone to see. Its not bad it's just... not to be read, unless my father reads them.

"No, no, where is it" I was close to tears.. those books mean so much to me. I searched high and low and I couldn't find it. I sat on the floor with my head against my knees, I'll never live with the embarrassment if someone reads those letters.

-

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I woke up to Eliza's soft cries, I fell asleep on the floor in a very uncomfortable position. The pain in my neck is clear evidence.. I moved my head, side to side and got up. I grabbed Eliza and made my way to the kitchen to fix her bottle.

There was a plate of food in the microwave, I guess mama April left for work already. I warmed my food and made the bottle before sitting down. I folded a blanket and used it to hold her bottle up while I ate my breakfast.

After I finished I went ahead to get Eliza and myself ready.. I was finally going to face Zaire, just to talk. I put a cute pink sweat suit on her, it was nearing the end of September so it's not as hot anymore. I brushed her hair and put a pink hat on her head.

Eliza is starting to sit up, she can't sit up too long without support but she's getting there.. I made my way out of the house. I strapped Eliza in her stroller and placed the bag in the bottom. Not many people were out, since school just started back up.

It was a fairly nice day, I agreed to meet Surge at the park down the street. We're definitely not getting back together, I just wanna find out why...

I took Eliza out of the stroller and walked over to the swings and started swinging.. not high though, my feet could still touch the ground. I watched as she giggled I had her in the pink baby sling I bought her. She loves being in this thing, I guess she likes being close to me.

I stopped swinging and looked around.. there was an old couple sitting by the rose bush. They looked so in love, holding hands. The woman had her head rested on the guys shoulder. They looked maybe, seventy years old.. I've always thought older couples were cute.

I hope one day I find love, real love that will never die.. I wanna grow old with who ever I end up with. But I don't see real love in my future, and I don't plan on looking either. I've always been very mature.

I'm not looking for anyone but if I was, I want someone who knows what they want. Someone who wants to settle down and be with one person and one person only.

"That could be us, but you playing"

"No.. you messed up, that's why it won't be us"

I turned to Surge who was reaching for Eliza. I allowed him to take her, he smiled and walked over to a bench. I followed behind him, bringing the stroller along. He sat her on his lap and gently bounced her.

"Damn, I missed my baby girl. She's getting so big"

"Who's fault is that?"

He looked at me with pleading eyes. "Mines. I know, I took things too far, but let's start over.. please. I swear I'm going crazy without you"

"You honestly scared me that night, I don't think it's ok for your girlfriend to be afraid of you.."

"Girlfriend? So that means we're still together.. but I'm sorry, I let my anger get the best of me. How's your arms?"

"There better, getting back to its normal color. And no we're not together, I was making a point"

He sighed and continued playing with Eliza.. if that's how he wants to be then fine. Every so often he'd look at me, he kissed Eliza and handed her back to me. "If you still care for me, be ready tonight at nine.." Before I could question him, he was walking away. I'm about sick of him walking away from me..