The Sultan's Daughter (Princesses Uncovered #5)

Chapter 41: Take It All Away

Yaz sat at the long mahogany table where she and her father had shared so many breakfasts. She had her hands folded in her lap, and she stared at the empty, gleaming surface of the wood, which seemed to alive and warm in comparison to the bleak darkness taking over her heart.

She had to acknowledge now that if she were to pull off the charade with Gafar in any believable way, she would have to let go.

Let go of herself.

Lose who she was. Die to herself.

Let go of Cemal.

Forget him. Understand that whatever she did…

She choked on the train of thoughts, a sob tearing itself from a place deep within her. She couldn’t do that. No. She couldn’t let go of Cemal.

She would die inside, yes. That was inevitable.

She was already letting go of herself.

But she wouldn’t let go of Cemal.

She stared down at the white silk of her flowing gown, cut in a streamlined fashion that was tight through the chest and hips, but flowed out when it reached her hips.

Her wedding dress.

Her wedding day.

Fath and Akila had come to check up on her a week ago. But they couldn’t get to her. Couldn’t even get into the palace.

Hashim was blocking her from all visitors until further notice. Said it was for her safety or some such nonsense.

She knew the truth.

He didn’t want her to run.

But she couldn’t. She hadn’t let go of the tiny flame of hope that said she could still save Cemal. All she had to do was cooperate in full with Hashim and Gafar. Sacrifice and sell her soul in exchange for his life.

It wasn’t so terrible, was it?

But it was.

It was.

A tear slipped down her cheek, marring the perfect, harsh coldness of her mask. It dropped into the silk, slipping off the slick surface of the gown. All over.

Game over. That’s what this was.

Once she married Gafar, there was no hope. There was nothing left of her soul. It was all gone. Every last drop.

She stared blankly at the walls of her father’s throne room. Then her gaze drifted to the floor where his body had lain.

Of course, it had been removed, and the bloodstains as well as the ruined rug had been removed, the rug replaced.

It just went to show that everything she loved had disappeared without a trace.

“I’m so…so sorry, Cemal… I’m sorry I didn’t get to you in time. I’m sorry that I have to do this… I’m sorry…I’m sorry we’re losing our chance…I’m sorry I’m marrying Gafar… And I’m…I’m just sorry for saying goodbye.” Yaz whispered to the stillness in the room.

The doors flung open, and Hashim strode in, dressed in his black and white robed finery. “How is my lovely daughter-in-law?”

She didn’t turn to face him, didn’t want him to see the awful sadness pervading her brown eyes or the tears that were threatening to spill, though they did not show in her eyes as she held them at bay. “You tell me…” She whispered. “How should I be on this my wedding day? The day when I will wed a man I loathe… The day when I will complete the selling of my very soul… How should I feel on the day when I will commit to a life that will kill me inside piece by dreadful piece?” She murmured, staring at the window.

He was silent.

She continued. “How should I feel when I am going to go out there, greet my people with a smile whilst I’m dying within, and say my vows to a man I’d like nothing more than to stab with a knife until he no longer breathes?” She stood, turning to him then, the tears spilling down her cheeks causing her kohl to begin to run.

But she didn’t care. “Look at me… Look me in the eye, Hashim. See what you have done to the woman of the man you murdered. Does it give you satisfaction to see me as broken within as your brother’s body was broken physically when he was executed? Does it make you feel better to know that every second I must act as though I am in love with Gafar to save the man I truly love? Does it make you feel better that those acts and faked smiles or kisses kill me inside and make me want to vomit until there’s nothing left in my stomach? Does it?” She asked, tears cascading over her cheeks and dripping onto the pavement, striking the very edge of the hem of her dress.

He had the decency to look away, ashamed. “No. But it’s necessary…” His eyes were sad, but held hardness in them despite the pain.

“Then why? Why… I… I don’t understand.” She broke then. “I don’t understand! I get why you killed my father. That you had a reason for. I understand why you want Cemal out of the way; I even understand why you need me out of the way as well… But explain to me why you didn’t let us go. Why didn’t you let us run off?”

“I have a promise to keep to Gafar. You were that promise. The condition for his aid.”

She nodded, silent. There was nothing left, nothing to give. Her tears stopped.

She pulled a tissue from the pouch she carried in her hand. Wiping away the streaks of kohl, she fixed the problem. If someone had walked in then, the only hints that she had been crying would’ve been the insignificant black teardrops on the hem of her dress and the watery look in her eyes. A few moments later, she had blinked away the moisture, and her eyes were dry.

“Say something…” Hashim pleaded.

She looked at him in silence, eyes haunted, but refused to speak to him. He did not deserve it. He would get nothing from her.

She was coated in a protection of unbreakable substance. No. She was rock. She was the unbreakable substance.

To carry through with her wedding, she would need to be unfeeling, empty. She couldn’t be filled with anything but her cold calculations.

She had to keep Cemal alive. That was her sole purpose in life now.

And to succeed at that, she had to pull of this play, this act that she had set into motion.

He sighed, nodding to her. “Well, it’s time then…”

She still said nothing. Instead, she swept from the room, ready to carry it through.

It was time.

Today she would marry.

But not for love.

Not for power or prestige.

Not for politics.

She would marry for Cemal, for revenge, for the salvation of a life she held dear.

They had taken it all away, but because they had, she had nothing left to lose. And that was their mistake. Because someone without something to lose was always more daring, more unbreakable, and far, far more unbeatable.

She would make that mistake their downfall. That she vowed.

On the day of her wedding, she vowed that she would see both Hashim and Gafar ruined. She would take away everything from them as they had stolen all from her. They would know the bitterness of losing all that they ever held dear, everything that mattered even the slightest bit would be taken away. And they would never get it back.