MY SISTERS BOYFRIEND

16. Say it

Ren

I can think of nothing else but Denver and the wedding. I should be focused on planing this wedding with Paige but I can't keep my mind off of Denver.

She has come and gone with Xavier the whole week and jealously is eating me alive. I can hear them laugh all the way to his car each time. Does she enjoy being with him? The thought of him touching her makes me want to punch a wall.

I should call off the wedding, I know that. I don't belong with Paige but I can't. I need to be married. If I want to take over my grandfathers business than I need a wife. Paige is good at planning and parties. She is polite and understands the formal talk at dinner parties. On paper she is perfect for me but in real life, I want Denver.

The guilt haunts me. Paige is a sweet women and she deserves better than me. She deserves someone that loves her and will truly only think of her. I can't get my fucking mind off of her sister.

Even if I did decide to break off the engagement, I could never been with Denver. She has Xavier and she's Paige's sister. Things wouldn't work out the way, I would want them to.

Denver

I look over at Xavier's sleeping form and sigh. Is this what Paige sees every morning but with Ren? She gets to wake up next to Ren. He loves her and they are getting married. I have come to terms with it. I'm strong enough to admit that, I have strong feelings for Ren but nothing will ever come of it. I'm a faithful person and I'm with Xavier. Soon, I will no longer catch my breath when I see Ren. I will no longer lose track of time, looking at him. The hurt will stop and the envy towards Paige will end. I'll be normal again.

"Hey, there." Xavier says in a raspy voice that is very attractive.

I smile over at him and lean down to place a kiss on his lips. He pulls me into him and rolls us over. He lays his head gently on my chest and listens to my heart beat.

"I love you so much." He whispers.

Panic runs through me like it does every time he says those words. How do I react? How does he want me to react? I'm not sure if I'm totally in love with him. After all, I can't stop thinking of Ren. I do love him, as a friend. For now. I hope that I can fall in love with him.

"You don't have to say it back." He says and kisses my cheek.

We spend the day like we do every other day. We watch movies and fall asleep. We get high and fall asleep. It's the same routine and it's relaxing. I'm barely home anymore and with all of the wedding planning, my parents don't really notice.

Xavier drops me off at my house and I reluctantly walk inside. Paige and Ren are snuggled up on the couch watching tv. A pang of envy hits in my chest. They stop the conversation they are having as soon as I enter the room.

"Hey, Denver." Paige greets me.

I wave in her general direction and walk into the kitchen for food. I shuffle through the fridge and pull out the contents to make a sandwich.

"Need help with that?" A voice asks.

I look over and see, Ren's Strong figure standing in the door way of the kitchen.

"Nope. I can handle it, thanks." I say.

"Can we talk?" He asks.

"About what?" I ask.

"Everything. That night." Xavier says.

"There isn't anything to talk about. It didn't happen and that's for the best." I say referring to the kiss.

Ren steps closer to me and I back into the fridge in an attempt to escape him. He takes my hand in his and squeezes lightly.

"I know you feel this. We have something here. It would be stupid to lose it." He says.

"It would be stupid to act on it." I say.

"You're right but that doesn't make me want you any less." He says quietly.

"You can't have me and I can't have you. You are marrying my sister." I say.

"And if I wasn't? Marrying your sister?" He asks.

My heart beats loudly in my chest and I look up at him. If he wasn't marrying Paige? We still couldn't be together.

"I'm with Xavier." I say.

Ren frowns and furrows his brow in distaste.

"Break up with him." Ren says.

"This has to stop. You are with my fucking sister. Nothing, changes that. Even if you did end it. It could never work. You need to accept that and forget about me.

"Is that what you really want?" He ask.

No. Not at all. I nod my head in agreement and a hurt look flashes across his face.

"Say it." He demands.

"Say what?" I ask.

"Tell me to leave you alone. Tell me that I mean nothing to you and that you want me to forget you." Demands.

"Leave me alone and forget about me." I say.

"You didn't say that, I mean nothing to you." He says.

"I can't say that." I say looking down at my shoes.

"Exactly." He answers before walking back into the living room with my sister.

I'm left alone and I no longer have an appetite. I just want to sleep the stress away. This is a nightmare.