On With The Show

2014

They stood next to each other, close. Too close once again, but neither cared. If she just moved a little she could reach out. While she was still thinking about it, thinking if she should or shouldn't, she felt it. The hand brushing against her side. It made her smile as they both shifted a little, closer still, their hands once more clasped in the other's. And just that moment the flashlight came, another photo was being taken.

They tried to be casually these days. Tried to not hold hands during the majority of the interview. Both still hearing his wife's voice as she asked if it was actually vital for them to keep holding hands and behave as if they were a couple still.

It was this question that made her shift, gently pulling her hand away after squeezing his, letting him know that she was only reluctantly letting go off him. But she did nevertheless. It wasn't vital for them to be close to the other, too close as it was appropriate for a former couple, one of them married. They had just found, over the last few years, that it was nice. It felt good that they were finally in a place in which they could appreciate the other again, enjoying each other's company.

And when the day was over, the camera team left, just as their band mates, he stayed behind. Once more it felt, for both of them, as if it were two different groups of people within the group. Mick and John had left, Christine - who was currently staying with her - had gone for dinner with them and would return later that night, while Lindsey and she stayed behind at her house.

"You want anything?" Stevie asked.

They had once more settled down in her living room today, only this time they were alone. There were no band mates, no TV guys, no journalists who were observing them.

"No." He shook his head and then motioning across the room where a little buffet was still placed. "And I could get something myself if I wanted."

"I know." She laughed. "It's just nice to take care of someone for a change."

"So you're still a spoilt little princess." Lindsey teased her.

"I'm not." She protested, laughing as she was reaching out, slapping his arm playfully.

It wasn't as if she had to reach out far. They had sat down on the big couch they had already shared earlier today, once more too close to each other.

"You are."

"No."

She slapped him again before she laughed and let herself fall against him. Instantly his arm went around her, pulling her close. Her hand came up to his, holding it where it rested.

"A little." He tried to make her confess.

"Maybe." Stevie was still laughing. "But just a tiny bit."

They stayed like this, not talking or doing anything, until she shifted.

"Lindsey?" She asked, looking up, her head resting on his chest by now.

"Mhmm."

"You think we'll ever be able to... not behave like we do, again." She wanted to know.

For the first time they both realized that his hand wasn't resting on her arm, but her front, his fingertips just above the top her breast. And she was still holding his hand there.

"You want me to...?" Lindsey asked.

"No." She shook her head, the hold on his hand tightening a little.

"Old habits die hard, you know." He replied to her earlier question.

"I think in our case they don't die at all." Stevie sighed and then closed her eyes, falling silent again.

"You want them to die?"

"No. You?"

"Maybe I should."

"But you don't want to."

It wasn't a question. She knew him. And she knew that deep down all this talking about closure and whatever else he had said while introducing "Say Goodbye" on the last tour was just some really big pile of bullshit. There would never be closure where they were involved. They knew it and a few years ago they had finally come to accept that there would always be some love that wouldn't vanish, no matter what.

"You once said I do what I want to." Lindsey stated.

"You do." She laughed. "Doesn't answer the question."

"You already did."

"So I still do know you." Stevie smiled, a little smugly. "Good to know."

"You'll always will." He said. "Just as I will always know you."

"You think so?" She raised an eyebrow, challenging him to prove his theory.

"Remember earlier the day? When you pulled your hand away." Lindsey reminded her. "You don't want me to get into trouble."

"I just don't want to hear the same rant from your wife again." She shook her head. "It's called self defence."

"I know."

"Still I know which photos will be published." Stevie sighed. "And I know that we won't behave differently on tour. Maybe it's really just not possible for us to ever behave like we're not constantly vanishing in the same hotel room after the shows."

"How often didn't we even stay at the same hotel?" He asked and then teased her. "Cause obviously someone is a spoilt little princess."

"You can be glad that we're getting along by now." She gave back and sat up to face him again. "Maybe I should give you spoilt little princess and throw you out."

"You wouldn't."

"Nah, story of my life, can't get rid off you." She laughed.

When he left sometime in the night, they held each other close, both once more asking themselves what if. But when they broke apart she smiled up before once more crossing a line, placing an ever so light kiss on his lips. Something he didn't stop her from doing when he knew it was coming.

"I love you." She whispered, letting him go and stepping back into her house.

"I love you." Lindsey replied and pulled her back close by the hold he still had on her hands.

He returned her earlier gesture, kissing her now.

"Go, or I have to ask you back in." She laughed, winking at him.

Wishing her a good night, he let go off her and went to his car, seeing that she was just closing the front door as he was getting in.