Daydreaming {Dantana}

four

I knocked on Kurt's bedroom door, knowing I would find both of my roommates in there. They were always closer to each other than they were to me, but after the whole Dani drama, I kind of shut myself out too.

"Come in!" Kurt yelled, smiling at me as I stood awkwardly by the door. "We were just about to watch a movie, wanna join?" He asked, nodding towards his laptop that was set on the bed where they both sat.

"Uhh no, thanks." I shook my head, refusing to the offer. "I'm looking for a lock, you have one, right?"

"Uhh yeah I think I have one in here," he said, jumping off his bed and heading to one of his drawers.

"What do you need a lock for?" Berry asked just when Kurt pulled one out of the second drawer he checked, handing it to me along with the key.

"I'm.... I'm locking Dani's stuff away." I answered quietly, taking the lock in my hands as my look fell to the ground. "I can't really stand staring at them anymore." I confessed.

Rachel nodded her head as Kurt gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I think that's a good idea." Rachel said. I only nodded after her. "Call us if you need anything, alright?"

"Hmm, thanks." I finished with a small nod before closing the door behind me.

So yeah, I had this box full of Dani's stuff. Every now and then when I sink into the depression of not having her, I find myself digging in that box, only depressing myself more.

Berry was right, it's not healthy. I can't let myself keep doing this to myself. I need a break.

I closed my bedroom door behind me and sat on my bed, folding my legs and brining that same box closer to me.

One last look won't hurt... right?

I opened the box and looked inside, immediately feeling the tears gathering at the bottom of my eyes.

Her perfume. It smelled just like her. When I closed my eyes and breathed it in, I could almost sense her here with me.

A letter. I loved her handwriting. It was this messy writing, not a lot of people could read it easily, but I could. At the bottom of the page she signed her name, and a wave of desperation to see her washed through me.

There were a few pictures of her in there, all gathered together and secured by a rubber band, but I couldn't bring myself to look through them. That would be too much.

Her music sheets. Her talent written on a paper. I kept just one page, of this song she used to sing to me all the time. She had so many sheets all around the place, there was no way I could keep them all. So I kept just that one. Not like her handwriting, when writing music Dani was neat. She drew the key so perfectly on the corner of the page, you could see she put everything into that.

I picked up the pile of pictures again. I stared into the one on top, pulling the band to the side so it won't cover her beautiful face.

I took that picture. It was in our first months of dating. I just got a new camera and wanted to try it, so I snapped a picture of Dani without her looking. She was writing music, like always, so her head was down exposing her perfect profile. She was smiling to herself, I can't really remember why, but I remember feeling the same feeling I got in my stomach by looking at this picture right now.

I slowly pulled it out of the pack and placed it on my bed, outside of the box. I let everything back inside and quickly closed the box, locking it with the lock Kurt gave me.

I picked up the picture again, before taking the picture frame I had on my bedside table and pulling whatever picture that was in there out. I slid Dani's picture in there and fixed the glass, placing it back on the bedside table.