The Drug Dealers Handbook

Chapter Three

The Callihan family was practically forced to make me my own key. In exchange for their hospitality whenever I wished, I cleaned their house, no questions asked. With five kids to take care of and having to handle James, they could hardly refuse.

Along with practically letting me live with them, they learned not to ask questions, which I deflected with one word answers, anyway. They especially learned not to say anything about my home life, which I tried my best to avoid. It wasn't like they missed me much anyway.

It didn't come as a surprise to me when I walked in to find Mrs. Callihan stuffing empty cereal boxes is the already overfilling trash can, and she didn't seem surprised to see me either. "I don't think that's going to fit, Mrs. C." I announced, throwing my bag on the couch before going over to stop her from making a bigger mess than there already was. "Let me,"

She moved away without protest, giving me a thankful smile. I heaved the bag of waste over my shoulder and went to the driveway to toss it. That just happened to be the time Spencer decided to make an appearance at home. No Caroline in sight, thank God.

Unfortunately, the awkward hello was unavoidable. Well, maybe it would have been awkward if he had given me the grace of at least acknowledging me. No, instead he went inside without giving me a glace.

Sighing, I followed after him.

While I was fairly certain Spencer hadn't told his parents we had broken up, it couldn't have been hard to figure out when the two of us were no longer seen together, and instead I traded him in for his brother. The pair of us still shocked James' parents.

When I trailed into the kitchen, I was met by Spencer and his mother making small talk while he dug into a freshly opened box of Coco Puffs. To avoid being sucked into their conversation by Mrs. C, I quickly grabbed my bag, and all but ran out of the room and downstairs.

I'd so much rather sit alone in James' boring room doing nothing, than sit in a prolonged silence with Spencer trying to avoid my eye.

Funny how one can go from non stop girl talk with her bestfriend all day, to waiting around for the boy she had been certain hated her. No, not funny. Ironic, yes.

I reflected back to all those times Lillian and I layed sprawled across my bed, gossiping about things that didn't really matter, but seemed like our live depended on those fractions of everyone else misfortunes. Nothing seemed to matter then, other than trying to divide my time equally between my best friend, Spencer, and school.

Though the importance of school became less and less, in my mind.

 In the midst of my thoughts, I made my way to the bathroom.

Of course Spencer came down then.

"Jesus, you scared me!" I squealed after jumping back a foot.

"Sorry," He muttered, not sounding sorry at all. "I need to learn to watch out for the girl that doesn't know when to go home,"

His outburst startled me. If it had been anyone else, I wouldn't have been phased. But every part of him that I knew, wasn't one to give any sort of anger off easily. At least, thats how it had always been with me.

Recovering quickly, I pointed out, "It's not like you're ever here to notice,"

"Home isn't exactly my favorite place right now," he said.

"Why? Because I'm always here?" I couldn't help but asking.

"That might have something to do with it," his tone and expression was passive.

Ouch. "I-I know we aren't on the best of terms, but you have no reason to hate me," I stuttered out. I'd spent my nights wondering why he hated me so, and came up with nothing. Feeling discomfort and awkward around me, sure, I get that, thats how I felt about him. But I didn't do anything so terrible. At least that I could think of.

"No reason," it was more of a statement than a question. "Are you kidding me?"

I blinked. "What do you think?"

"You want reasons? How about we start off with you completely ignoring me after things got bad with your parents?" His voice was steadily rising now, and I'd never seen him this worked up before.

"Okay, yeah, let's start with that. I distinctly remember that the reason things got bad at home, was just as much your fault as it was mine." my voice was raising to match his volume.

"Blame it on everyone but yourself, that's how it always is with you."

Oh, he so did not just got there.

"You're right Spencer. It's all my fault," I growled. "And as for ignoring you? I'm sorry I had every form of communication taken away from me, and that you're so goddamn needy you can't get over that." to be fair, Spencer really wasn't needy at all, and was always perfectly fine with giving me my space. "Again, remember that you were every bit as involved in my grounding as I was."

I really hoped Mrs. Callihan had left and wasn't a witness to this. But James just happened to be. "Is this a bad time?" he asked from the bottom step when he set eyes on us. "Should I come back later?"

I glared at him, but Spencer ignored him. "What did I do, then?" Spencer demanded.

"Other than drink my dad's beer and get totally shitfaced, let me be the one to get in trouble, and then get mad when I couldn't call you every night? Nothing. Nothing at all."

He clenched his jaw, but dropped that matter for now. "Alright, then what about you making out with my brother the other night?"

"Shit just got good," James said, taking a seat on the step.

Before I was confused and hurt, now I was just pissed. "You have no right to be mad about that. Especially when you have clearly moved on! What right do you have to say I can't be with someone else?"

"Screw around with anyone you want," he hissed. "Just make sure it's not my brother."

"Some one sounds a little jealous," I taunted unfairly.

He clenched and unclenched his hands into fists. "You want to talk about jealousy?" he asked, taking a step closer to me. "Tell me how you felt about Caroline, Morgan." I looked away from his blazing eyes and concentrated on my shoes instead.

 "Tell me you didn't hate seeing her with me. Tell me I'm wrong," he ordered.

After silence descended on all of us, and I being consciously aware of James watching us like we were a new reality show, I finally replied. "I can't. You know I can't do that." I whispered. Then, raising my voice, I said, "It almost hurt me as much as it hurt you when I had my tongue down your brothers throat."

I'm not usually this bitchy, I swear.

Spencer blinked, and finally looked over at James, who wore a very amused smirk. But instead of answering, he turned around and stalked into his room, slamming the door behind him.

I let out a breath I hadn't noticed I'd been holding, and looked over at James. He clapped his hands together and declared, "Well, that was fun! We should do it again some time,"

I stared at him.

"Next time I'll be sure to bring some popcorn,"

Still staring.

"And maybe some Milk Duds. No wait-"

But I had interrupted him. "It's none of your business James." I said calmly. "And I can't believe you just stood there. And did nothing." 

"Hey, Morgan, come on, I didn't-"

"Exactly, you didn't do anything. Honestly, I can't handle you right now, I'll call you later." and then I stormed out, my very dramatic exit I wished I'd saved for Spencer to see. 

I knew I was being unfair, taking my anger out on James.

I just didn't think I had the courage to really take it out on the one who deserved it.