Broken Wings

Chapter 8: The Best Friend

"I'm just looking for an angel with a broken wing." -Jimmy Page

My mom is pregnant. No way. Her oldest child is 23 years old and her youngest is almost 20! She’s 39 and my Dad is 40. They had Ryder at 16 and 17 and then me at 19 and 20. “How is this even possible?! Shouldn’t she be going through menopause or something?” I looked at Ryder after my long pause. “No, not yet anyway. Women can have babies up into their late 50’s sometimes.” He sighed. Why wasn’t he freaking out?! “Ryder, they are having a baby. We are having another sibling. And it’s going to be over 20 years younger than us!” “Pay, you have to breathe for a second.” “This is really happening and I almost told them…. Oh my God what is wrong with me?” “Paislee, don’t make me hold you down until you calm down!” Ry warned. He knew that my anxiety was building and it was. “I’m okay. I’m good.” I took a deep breath and settled down. I didn’t say anything else, I just went to bed.  Ryder told Mom and Dad that he told me.

Friday

I was working at the diner 8-1. I was getting out early and I was glad to. Nikki was off today. She came in with the boys for lunch. Hunter and I have hung out all week. After Nikki ditches me for Ryder. She does that on purpose. “Hey Guys. What will it be?” I walked over and asked. “You know what we want Pay.” Nikki smiled. “Right.” I smiled and put in their order. I was done with my shift before they were finished eating, so I went and sat with them. “Hey.” Hunter hugged me when I sat next to him. “Hey.” I laughed. “So, Pay there is a party tonight at the Hudds house. Want to go?” Nikki asked. “No, I’m good.” “Paislee! You don’t have to drink! It’s just music, food, dancing, mudding, and talking.” She was trying her hardest. “And drinking. No, I’m good.” “I’m going, you know that I won’t let you get into too much trouble.” Ryder spoke up. “No, no no! My answer is still no!” I was getting mad. “What if Hunter came too? Would you go then?” Nikki looked at him. “Are you going?” I turned to him. “I was going to. But, if you don’t want to go we can do something else.” “You can go, I’m just going to stay home.” I smiled to him. “No, I’ll come hang out with you.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, you and I will go do something.” He smiled and it made me happy. “Okay, yeah. That sounds good to me.” “Perfect it’s….” he paused once he realized what he was going to say. “It’s still not a date!” I laughed. “I know, I know.” “Well, you two are boring.” Nikki rolled her eyes at me. She was mad that I wasn’t going to the party and she was even more pissed that Hunter didn’t make me go with him. He would rather come and hangout with just me.

The boys went back to work and Nikki came over to my house. I was getting ready to hear her latest rant on how I should go to the party and blah, blah, blah. I’ve heard it all before. She was fixing her make up in my mirror. “Paislee, will you please go to the party with Ryder and I?” She begged. “Nikkole, I do not want to go to a party and there is nothing that you can say or do that will change my mind.” “You don’t have to drink, hell you don’t even have to socialize if you don’t want to. I just need you there for support. This is my first party since….” She brought out the tears. “No, Nikkole it’s not. I know damn well that you have been to plenty of other parties since that night. I’m the one who hasn’t remember? I hate when you pull this! Just let it go. You and Ryder should be happy. I’m going with Hunter anyway.” I sighed. “Yeah, where are you two going?” she moved on after I yelled at her. “I don’t know yet. Probably somewhere quiet and private.” “Are you going to sleep with him?” “No, I will not sleep with him.” “Why not?! You’ve only slept with one person and that was Wyatt. Does Wyatt really deserve to be the only guy you’ve slept with?” “No, but don’t worry he’s not.” “Wait what?! Who else did you sleep with? Ben?” “No, I never slept with Ben! Wyatt was the last person that I slept with.” “Wait he wasn’t your first then?” she figured it out. “No, he wasn’t.” “Then who the hell was?!” “Zee was. When I was 15 and he was 16. Before you two ever happened.” I told her and she looked very shocked. “W-what? You slept with Zee?” “Yes, when we were very young. Please say something Nikki.” “How weren’t you two ever together?” “Because he didn’t want me. He wanted you.” “No, he never really did. I know he didn’t. He always wanted you. I don’t even know why he was with me.” She got really sad. “Nikki, I know, knew Zee. If he didn’t want to be with you he wouldn’t have been. You said that you two talked about breaking up, but I don’t think he wanted too. If he did, he would’ve instead of talking about it.” “Are you sure? You’re not lying to me are you?” “No, I’m not. You are one of the only people that I won’t lie to.” I hugged her. “I know. Maybe you should tell the truth. I know that you’re trying to protect me and Zee, but you don’t have to keep this up forever.” “You couldn’t handle what they’d say about you. I don’t think I could handle what they’d say about you and Zee. I can take what they say about me.” “I don’t want you to lie anymore. Ry told me about last night and how you almost told your parents.” “Yeah, and what’s your point?” “We think that you should tell them. Tell everybody.” She sighed and I couldn’t believe what she just said. “Ryder thinks this too?” “Yeah. He does.”

I stayed quiet for a minute after that. “Pay, it’s your turn to say something.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “No, not going to happen. I’m sorry but it’s for your own good.”