SAVE ME (𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘺)

Part 9

Status: rewritten and updated to be less cringe.

The three of us walk inside of my house slowly. "I was just making sure y'all got home safely..." two-bit rubs the back of his neck. "I'll see y'all later tonight." He spins of his heel and leaves, leaving Johnny and I alone.

"You okay?" I ask, and then receive a death glare in return.

"Leave me alone and worry about yourself! You guys didn't have to come save me'..I'd rather y'all just let her beat me to death."

I stare in shock for a second, but then glare right back. "Why do you keep saying stuff like that? Don't you know that I care about you?"

"Shut up!" He yells. "You don't even really knows me. I need you to quit focusing on me. All you ever do is worry about what's going on in my life and I need you to stop. Maybe I don't want someone to worry about my life! You ever think of that?"

"You agreed to let me in! You told me that you'd start talking to me!"

"Then I take back what I said. I must have been out of my mind to tell that to you--" he stops, suddenly, and bites his lip, looking away. "I'm sick of you saving me."

"You gotta stop doing this Johnny...you can't keep yelling at me and telling me how much you hate me. I know it's only because you're upset, but it's hard to just take that stuff without batting an eye." I feel stupid. I also feel like crying. 

"I never said I hated you..." he speaks softly.

"Well that's what it feels like. Sometimes I feel like I can't even talk to you unless I'm yelling. You always get mad and push me away, when all I'm trying to do is be there for you. Can't you see that?"

He swallows hard and then nods. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt like that."

I just look down.

"Maybe--" he sits down on the couch and hides his face in his hands. "I should take my own advice. I always say how all you do is worry about me, and that's all I do too. Maybe I should start paying attention to you. I mean, do I even know you really?"

"Johnny..."

"I'm serious. Do I even know you? All we ever do is talk about me. Gosh...I'm so self centered and I didn't even realize it. I feel awful."

I sit down next to him and put my arm around his shoulder. "Hey, don't talk like that. I don't think that you're self centered."

He groans. "How do you always manage to do that?"

I flinch lightly, confused. "Do what?"

"You're always so nice to me, no matter what. How? I always treat you like shit. Always. Sometimes without realizing it, and sometimes on purpose. I try to make you hate me, and you never do."

"Why do you want me to hate you?" Johnny Cade tended to confuse me, but never have I been this bewildered. "If you really didn't want to be my friend, why did you come find me again?"

"It's not that I don't want to be your friend, it's that I'm scared to be around you...you're sweet, charming, and..." he falters, like he wants to say something but can't. His cheeks redden. "Ponyboy...I'm, I'm scared to like you more than a friend." He tenses up, as if he expects to be hit.

The air feels like it's sucked out of my lungs, and I take a leap with my next sentence. "Would that really be such a bad thing?"

He shivers and started shaking a little. "What?"

"I asked you...would liking me as more than a friend be a bad thing?"

Johnny turns to face me. "I...I don't know. Do you think it would be?"

"I think--I think it might be kind of cool."

"Well, what if I said that I do?"

I smile, and let out a shaky breath. "Then I'd say I'd kiss you. What would you think about that?" 

He laughs in disbelief. "I would like that."

He's scared, and I can see that. He's never felt like this before, and to tell you the truth, neither had I. No one had ever made me feel how he did. No one had ever made me want to hold them like I wanted to hold Johnny. I reach out my hand and caress his cheek, leaning in. "Is this okay?"

He surprises me by not answering. Instead, he leans in the rest of the way and kisses me.

When we pull away, I immediately want another one. I try to go in for another but he stops me.

"Pony..." He looks worried. I smile, reassuring him that he'd done nothing wrong, and that I'm not mad. I'm definitely not mad at him.

"Johnny, you don't gotta be scared."

"You really liked it?"

I nod. "I really did. Can we kiss again?"

His face brightens up and I feel his lips on mine once again.